Bryan! (00:02.329) You're listening to Bring Me the Axe. I'm Brian White. One half of this morbid equation and I'm joined by my co-host and actual brother Dave White. Hey Dave, how you doing?

Dave! (00:09.854) Oh, oh boy. You know what, I tell you what, I'm doing OK, but I feel like this whole November has been like a time war.

Bryan! (00:20.737) It just kind of happened and then it's over, right? Yeah.

Dave! (00:22.39) Yeah, yeah, I feel like I've just been like fired out of a cannon for the last six weeks. And I am just like, what's going on? What's everybody doing? Why is it Christmas time already?

Bryan! (00:31.373) Yeah. Yeah, I was like, all right, after Halloween passed, I was like, you know what? We'll just coast to Christmas. It'll be it'll be fine. It'll be a nice couple of months. But then all of a sudden fucking November's over. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. It's crazy. Yeah. So we drink it over there. It looks fancy.

Dave! (00:46.226) Oh it is fancy, this is Anna. This is a hill farmstead. It's a farmhouse ale with honey. It's fucking delicious. It is probably my favorite beer of the year.

Bryan! (00:56.113) Oh. Yeah. Is this one of the ones you got on your little road trip to Portland?

Dave! (01:02.971) Uh, I got this in Vermont at Hill Farmstead. Not recently, though. This was a while back. No, I recently went to Allagash.

Bryan! (01:05.901) Alright. Oh, alright. Alright. Yeah. Alright. So, we practically, you know, you like, you know, some beers, you seem to really appreciate it too. I'm over here drinking a Coca-Cola garbage person.

Dave! (01:13.07) I'm the connoisseur of beer, you see.

Dave! (01:19.714) I do.

That's disgusting. You are garbage. You are a trash person.

Bryan! (01:31.549) So, we practically grew up in neighborhood video stores and the steady diet of utter garbage that those shops provided us with continues unabated to this day. There's no one else I enjoy chopping it up with more about trashy movies than Dave. Just before we get into it, a little housekeeping. If you want to keep up with us between episodes, you can find us on Instagram at BringMeTheAxePod. You can find Dave at ThatQueerWolf. We're having a good time over there. You will too. Give us a follow. We've also got a sweet website at BringMeTheAxe.com.

You can listen to all our past shows there and read the transcripts. You can also contact us directly at bring me the ax pod at gmail.com with any questions, comments or suggestions. Do let us know if there's a movie that you love and would like to hear us give it the business. Lastly, if you like what you hear, you can subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. You'd be doing us a favor by leaving us a five star review on Apple podcasts or Spotify. So

You know that I've seen that number rise and it's nice. And we've got a couple of we got a couple of really, really nice reviews on Apple podcasts. So all of you people who've done that, who've actually like pushed the button to give us the five star review, or you've actually taken a few minutes to actually write a review, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. But to you people who listen and haven't done that, I want to talk to you over here for a second. Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? You're making me look like an asshole over here. It.

Dave! (02:46.898) Yeah, but you should do it anyway though, because it'd be like a Christmas present to me. And also, if you wanna get me other Christmas presents, I like horror movies and beer. That's about it. So those three things, you give me those three things.

Bryan! (03:00.634) Yeah. Yeah, just take a couple of seconds out of your day. Just push a little button there that says five stars. You don't even have to write a review, but if you do, we'd really appreciate it because that goes a long way. So, I just want to get that all out of the way right at the top of the show. So, here we are. Thanksgiving has passed us. It was a wonderful little Thanksgiving that I had. We watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 all day like we do every

Dave! (03:11.35) Yup.

Dave! (03:20.056) BAM!

Bryan! (03:28.905) ate a lot of food, but also we watched Blood Rage. So so here. Yeah.

Dave! (03:35.777) I worked, I worked on it.

Bryan! (03:38.885) there. So.

Dave! (03:40.19) I wrote stories about murder and then I think I had pizza.

Bryan! (03:45.263) You were thankful for that pizza and for murder. Yep. So here we go. Here's a little taste. Here's a little taste of what you're going to get tonight.

Bryan! (04:50.209) That's not cranberry sauce already. Yup.

Dave! (04:52.502) That's one it kind of got to see really to experience it. Like most trailers, it's a visual medium.

Bryan! (04:55.841) Yeah, yeah. Also, it really is. Like, I play them, I play them because I remember a time when on the radio, they actually used to run movie trailers. You know, of course, the trailers were very, you know, there's a lot of dialogue and shit. Some trailers that we run, not a lot of dialogue. It's just a lot of music and people screaming. So it's kind of hard. This one's a weird one, because I'm not sure if that's that. That can't be the actual theatrical trailer. And I'm not convinced that this movie actually. I don't think it did.

Dave! (05:22.766) I don't think it even had a theatrical trailer.

Bryan! (05:24.785) because it had a very, very limited theatrical run under a different name that we'll talk about. But it was it was released to video, but like years after the movie was produced. So like, well, right, right. That's what I said, it's gonna be but it had a very, very short run. It was an entirely different movie that was released to theaters. Basically, this was like a troubled production.

Dave! (05:38.347) Well, it was raised in theaters too.

Bryan! (05:51.621) that kind of sat on a shelf until somebody came along and kind of sliced it together. And so I don't, I'm not convinced that there was ever really a trailer for this movie.

Dave! (06:02.646) No, like I said to you earlier, this is a movie that people talk about like, oh, that old classic, like it's like it's Friday the 13th. And the reality is pretty much nobody had seen this movie until Aero released the Blu-ray in like 2018 or 2017 or something.

Bryan! (06:16.953) Yeah, I never even heard of it until you mentioned it and it was about this time last year that I watched it for the very first time. So yeah.

Dave! (06:26.627) And maybe you can kind of see why it was a forgotten... Well, I can see it and I also don't. Like why? Because it's very much like the tail end of that first cycle of teen slashers.

Bryan! (06:37.461) Right, so it would have been, it was produced in 83 with the intention of being released in 1984, which would have put it really right at the end of what's really kind of considered the golden age of the slasher, right?

Dave! (06:48.662) Yeah, either like the very end of the beginning of the sort of second cycle. But I, you know, it's like it has the reason people don't never really saw it or heard about it was like it gets made in 83 ish. And then it gets shelved and it comes out in 87 at a time when like, it's like late 87. And it's at a time when horror was very different by that point. So it's like this movie feels very old, even by 1987.

Bryan! (07:09.001) Right, right.

Bryan! (07:13.945) Right, because 84 happens and like there's a couple of real solid hits in there, but also 84 is the year that Nightmare on Elm Street comes out and changes everything, right? And so, yeah, and it's not even that, like that's not even really sort of like the watershed moment because 87 is the year that Dream Warriors came out and that's the movie, that was 87. And so that's the movie where

Dave! (07:25.482) Yeah, so the one-offs are kind of done, but...

Dave! (07:37.058) That's 87? Nah, I guess I'm excited.

Bryan! (07:42.705) Freddy becomes the sort of like the masthead.

Dave! (07:47.362) fucking borscht belt comedian that we know and love today.

Bryan! (07:51.062) Yeah, that's the one where he becomes quippy and cute and everybody like is buying the costumes and the toys and all the shit. So like it's after that you could no longer just make us like a crazy person slasher movie like even Jason is all of a sudden a zombie killer. Michael Myers has this whole like

supernatural angle we get Chuckie not long after that yeah like everybody's gotta you know everybody's gotta have a magic trick behind them you

Dave! (08:14.658) Dumb bullshit.

Dave! (08:19.63) But this is also, as opposed to those, this is a regional film. Like, I mean, as much as it gets sorta, Arrow is one of the biggest, I think, indie releasers at this point. And so for them to do this, it's kind of a big deal. But this is still a regional slasher. So it's basically nobody, it's made by nobody, it stars nobody with the exception of one person. And like the biggest names on this movie are the makeup guy and the composer, aside from Louise Lasset.

Bryan! (08:29.487) Yeah.

Bryan! (08:39.503) Yeah.

Bryan! (08:47.569) And Louis Lasser, but yeah, no, exactly like Richard Einhorn. Did the does the music at French does the special effects? We'll talk about both of them. So let's do it. Let's get into it. This is there we go. These are the facts as they've come to be understood. So the their year was 1987, but it was produced like we said 1983. So other movies released that year don't what? I'm doing 87. We'll just we'll say it's 87. So

Dave! (08:58.773) Meh.

Dave! (09:10.614) Wait, which year? Which, which year? OK. I know what you're going to say. Hell yeah!

Bryan! (09:17.913) Don't panic. Yeah. Refer to our don't panic episode. It is. It's it's yeah, it's majestic. Also released that year from a whisper to a scream, which features a necro Vincent Price and Susan Terrell, who are the best the best parts of the whole movie, but also there's a necrophilia baby in it. There's also bad taste came out that year. The

Dave! (09:22.45) And just watch the movie because it is fantastic.

Dave! (09:34.21) which begrudgingly features Vincent Price. Yeah.

Bryan! (09:47.089) like Peter Jackson flick. Stage fright, which is that that's umberto no that's uh Lamberto Bava right? It's either that or it's or it's or it's Michele Sawavi. I'm not sure they did so much together. I could look it up I suppose but yeah it's either it's one of them.

Dave! (09:58.062) I think so? Michelle Suave, I think maybe wrote it.

Dave! (10:06.53) I mean, Lumberto Bava's output is pretty low end and Stagefright is a little bit higher end, so I'm gonna say maybe not him.

Bryan! (10:13.981) Yeah, it's gotta be Suave. But that's a movie that I hardly really, I don't really remember anything about it. But the only thing that really keeps me fascinated is I am dying to know what that fucking play is about. Because it is full of just crazy bullshit.

Dave! (10:28.318) I think nonsense, it's about nonsense. I like that movie a lot. I think it is big and it is melodramatic and really fucking stupid. But the killer is who's so bizarre and that giant owl costume is kind of awesome. Yep.

Bryan! (10:35.413) It's extremely Italian.

Bryan! (10:41.289) Super evocative. Yeah, it really is. And rounding out the bunch for 1987, The Monster Squad. A fine film if there ever was one. Cast and crew. This was directed by a guy named John Grismer. And like so many of the directors featured on this pod, he produced a couple of movies then fucked off to do something else. I found that looking up information about him was crazy

Dave! (10:49.771) Mmm, fine, fine.

Dave! (11:09.967) I couldn't find anything.

Bryan! (11:11.265) not much to know, but I did find some interesting stuff. So before and after Blood Rage, he was primarily a stage guy. He directed one other movie, which is in this movie.

Dave! (11:23.654) Scalpel. See that arrow also put that out.

Bryan! (11:24.745) uh scalpel and then

I would, I looked it up, looks interesting, looks a little more sophisticated than this one. I'd be interested in seeing it. But then eventually he just bails on directing. He writes a few books, one of them being a stage musical about the invention of the sport of basketball. And he's like a, he's like a, I think it says like a consulting professor at Xavier College in Cleveland,

Dave! (11:46.047) A thriller, then.

Dave! (11:59.798) He's a real renaissance man.

Bryan! (11:59.966) I don't know. So yeah, he's all over the place. But also he wrote a bunch of books after this. And like, that seems to be his bread and butter these days. Special effects were done by Ed French, as we mentioned, who you know from Sleepaway Camp and like eventually, so all the prosthetic effects in this movie have the same sort of rubbery look.

as in Sleepaway Camp, but many of the effects and the illusions are well above the norm of its contemporaries.

Dave! (12:29.042) Oh yeah, no, they're really, the scenes, the kind of violent death scenes in this are really brutal.

Bryan! (12:35.525) They're brutal and they're very impressive. Because and it's weird because like he was one of the other guys who he has nothing to do with Tom Savini, but he's one of these guys who's like working the illusion angle in order to sort of actually do the violence on screen a couple of times in this movie. It really works out well, and then also some of them are pretty fucking hilarious. And then eventually graduates to work on some seriously big deal movies in the 90s.

Dave! (12:37.825) Yeah.

Dave! (12:58.368) Oh yeah.

Bryan! (13:04.685) But if a low-budget movie in the 80s boasted better special effects than the movie deserved, for instance Mutant Hunt, it probably had Ed French working on it. Mutant Hunt is a hard one to get through, but man, no, no. But Vinnar Syndrome put it out just recently, and it's really, really bad. It's a very, very bad movie that has a fucking awesome special effect at the end.

Dave! (13:14.55) Yep, I think that's a mystery science theater movie, isn't it? No?

Bryan! (13:32.133) cast. We got Louise Lasser, star of the weirdo cult 70s soap opera spoof, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. Now, have you watched it? Because before this, I'd never seen it. It was the third thing. I think I was really only familiar with the title because of it. Like it got name checked on The Simpsons. But like I watched a few of them.

Dave! (13:39.106) Good show.

Dave! (13:50.018) So it was on, there were two seasons of it, but then there was a spinoff because wasn't Fernwood Tonight was a spinoff.

Bryan! (13:55.093) It was for yeah, because she left. She was like, fuck this. This is really hard because it's not it. It wasn't. She she they were doing it on a soap opera schedule, so it was like all the time and she's not a soap opera actress. And so it was just this like grueling, brutal schedule that she had to keep up with. And after two seasons was like, fuck this, I'm done.

Dave! (14:01.322) I'm gonna go steal a dollhouse. I'm outta here, y'all.

Bryan! (14:20.717) And so for about 20 more episodes, they were like, okay, we'll call it Fernwood tonight, and it'll be about all the other people without her. And then everybody just kind of was like, eh, we're in it for Louise Lasser, apparently.

Dave! (14:33.806) It's, Firmwood Tonight's pretty good. They're both like weird, absurdist kinda comedy dramas, in a way. And well, Firmwood Tonight's not really a drama, but Mary Hartman kind of was, especially the first season.

Bryan! (14:40.141) I found it.

Bryan! (14:43.881) I found the, I found the, all the stuff that I watched mostly just clips was deeply unsettling in the same way that like Twin Peaks is. It's uncanny and it's weird. Yeah.

Dave! (14:53.738) Yeah, because it's absurdist theater. I mean, if you were a weird child like me who watched Taxi, you might remember her as Alex Rieger's ex-wife on Taxi. But I think this movie was made sort of more direct, because she had kind of a career reboot in the late 80s and early 90s. And so I think this was kind of the fallow period for her. Because even she admits it. I watched the interview, and she was just like, well, I can't really remember why I decided to do this. I probably just needed money. And I was like,

Bryan! (15:04.902) Oh yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (15:15.79) Yeah.

Dave! (15:23.65) Ding ding ding. That's why I do most things.

Bryan! (15:24.869) Yeah. But uh yeah. So she though she's in several key scenes with the rest of the cast. There are as many scenes where she's just off by herself rattling around her condo doing insane shit. It's like she's an entirely separate movie and she has this deranged quality about her that seems to extend beyond her character. So like in the 70s, there's all these like weird incidences of her having like very public like

Dave! (15:38.538) Yeah, she's in a very different movie.

Bryan! (15:54.745) nervous breakdowns like on TV.

Dave! (15:56.814) Because she was the first person to get kicked off of, or to get refused readmittance to NSL, or NSL, SNL.

Bryan! (16:02.917) Yeah. And I it's hard to tell what's real and what the network sort of tried to spin is like, oh, we meant to do that. So yeah, like one of the dollhouse incident that you mentioned actually got written into the Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. And that involves her going to some sort of a charity event and she wanted a dollhouse that cost like a couple hundred bucks.

She tried to buy it on her credit card, which got declined. And then she made us some kind of very, very public scene that involved the police showing up and where they found coke in her purse, which explains it explains a few things. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Her. Or start a music venue. She yeah, she also she had a really fucked up life. And to sort of top it all off, she married Woody Allen at some point, which

Dave! (16:41.194) I mean, that would explain why she wanted the dollhouse so badly.

Dave! (16:47.138) It was either that or open a restaurant.

Bryan! (17:00.929) seems to be like a real kind of key downfall moment for a lot of people.

Dave! (17:07.117) for a lot of people who have married Woody Allen.

Bryan! (17:10.033) I think yes. Good god. What a also in the cast is a guy named twin brothers, Terry and Todd working to this day but beyond bulk of his work is in bit would imagine that because I producer on this was working

Dave! (17:14.094) What a sleaze.

Dave! (17:28.43) I think he does a lot of stage stuff, or he did at one point.

Bryan! (17:37.709) out of New York. So like, of course, everybody's on stage. But yeah, and he's pretty good. Like he turned he does he this is yeah, yeah. I think there I think I read that in certain some reviews of this movie that remark that like sometimes he seems to be sleepwalking through the role. But then there's other moments where he clearly was very into what he was doing.

Dave! (17:46.286) He's interesting. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say he's good.

He's good in certain parts.

Dave! (18:06.57) And I think that's the problem with the whole movie is the movie itself is very inconsistent. It's like, it doesn't know what kind of movie it wants to be. At some points, it leans so far into kind of self-awareness that it almost tips forward and it gets really shitty. And then other times it's like, nope, just a regular slasher movie. And it's kind of like, all right, it's a little bit dumb, but yeah, it's not, it goes back and forth. It's weirdly inconsistent. The pacing's a little strange, but it pretty much just bangs along after a certain.

Bryan! (18:06.725) but he's very inconsistent.

Bryan! (18:20.972) It's.

Bryan! (18:35.233) Yeah, I definitely noticed like I watched this a couple of times as I usually do for these and like the first time I watched it where I was just taking it in and sort of like thinking about what I was going to say about it. Like I it moves along, you know, and kind of a snappy pace, but for whatever reason during the notes run, it took me fucking hours to get to get through it. I kept getting distracted like.

Dave! (18:55.774) Yeah, I got a little bit, I got really distracted when I was watching it today. It gets a little, it's like there are parts that are kind of boring and they're still like, they're weird in ways that aren't that fun. Like it feels, it's the kind of movie that feels like it was made by multiple people over a very long period of time.

Bryan! (19:12.357) the feeling that that's because that's what really happened. Yeah. Oh, so rounding out the cast because there's nobody else in this movie who's really worth mentioning is Ted Raimi who shows up in a really, really small part. And this? No, they made it.

Dave! (19:14.72) Yes.

Dave! (19:24.607) It is his first role.

Dave! (19:29.254) He has said as much, he says it is his first role. He said his father, he went to New York and his father was like, all right, you've got a year to make this thing work and if you do not get any parts, you're gonna come back to Detroit and work with me and I don't know, whatever the fuck their father does.

Bryan! (19:31.865) weird because he's in Evil Dead.

Bryan! (19:48.379) I think it was a furniture store.

Dave! (19:49.59) Yeah, and so he was like, all right, fair deal. And he said he got, like, the year was pretty much up. He wrote his father a letter and was like, you were right, this was a bad idea. I'm sorry. And I was like, you shouldn't say you're sorry, but okay. Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. And then he was like, so I was about to like pack my shit and go home and I just, I got this part. So maybe it's like, it's as, you know, Evil Dead is, he's in it because his brother made it. This is the, this is his first role, like as an actual.

Bryan! (20:02.138) Hahaha

Bryan! (20:13.869) Yeah. Okay.

That's what you're saying. Yeah. For some reason, he plays a one-off joke at the very beginning. That's creepier than it is funny.

Dave! (20:26.2) That scene is real fucking weird.

Bryan! (20:28.237) Yeah. So let's run some notes here. The taglines for this movie. Not all the evil is on Elm Street. Wicked Bad. None of these are very are very good. No.

Dave! (20:37.59) Fucking terrible.

Nope. Or even reflective of the movie.

Bryan! (20:44.465) like this one. Something's never rest in peace. Nothing. Got nothing to do with it. That one was tied to uh I think it's called Nightmare at Shadow Woods which they sold with a big like with a with a big like gravestone on the poster and Yeah. So um yeah. Oh also here's another one. Nightmares do come true. Total Yeah. They're the worst. I hope you I

Dave! (20:48.962) Nope, what does that have to do with anything?

Dave! (20:56.502) Yeah, which is the.

Dave! (21:08.19) also tells me nothing. God, fuck you, whoever wrote these.

Bryan! (21:14.062) never worked again.

Dave! (21:15.126) Well, let me hit you with some contemporaneous reviews, because man, nope. All right.

Bryan! (21:19.621) Well, actually, hey, I got one more. I got one more. This Thanksgiving, it's not cranberry sauce, which get used to that one because you're going to hear it a lot. I believe that one came from Aero.

Dave! (21:26.23) So, okay, that's later. Yeah, they got some fucking mileage out of that one.

Dave! (21:33.658) Yeah, I was digging around. I mean, I was trying to find, like, contemporary reviews, and there aren't that many of them, because, again, it's a regional movie that didn't do very well. One of the ones... let's see. This is from the Corpus Christi Times, and it's, Perhaps Miss Lassner thought she was participating in a different sort of film. Perhaps the producers of this film allowed her to think that. But in the context of this woeful movie, she is pathetically out of place. And you know what? I'm not going to disagree with that.

Bryan! (22:01.922) Yeah.

Dave! (22:02.798) Uh, let's see. Oh, this is another one. This one's not very kind. It's from Bill Von Mourer from the Miami News, and it says, Lassar looks buck-toothed and redneckish. Her eyes bug constantly, and her talent, if there ever was any, sags in every scene. To which I say, come on, man, that's some real fucking misogyny right there.

Bryan! (22:16.421) Goddamn!

Bryan! (22:27.693) That is brutal, brutal shit that and god, fuck that guy.

Dave! (22:32.994) So, and the last one, this is a really good one from the Tulsa World, John Woolley. John Woolley from Tulsa World. Coming to you live from Tulsa World News. John Grismer's directorial hand is to be charitable, not exactly firm. Shots don't match up, the acting level varies widely from scene to scene, and occasionally it appears as if Grismer just had his cameraman turn on the camera and let it run. The garish, flat-

color and skin flick lighting are in keeping with the generally sleazy nature of the film. And you know what? I'm gonna say, I go see that.

Bryan! (23:07.757) give it I'm gonna give it to him I can see that gonna give it to him on that one

Dave! (23:12.502) So yeah, some of these are a little bit mean, but not wrong.

Bryan! (23:15.705) Yeah. So, this movie goes by several titles. So, during production, it was called The Complex. And you can actually see that in the in the in the credits. It's yeah. So, in the credits, it's Complex Productions, I think is the company that produced it. And of course, it's referring, I believe, to the condo complex that the movie takes in. Not a care terribly compelling title. It was changed to Slasher.

Dave! (23:25.194) Oh yeah, none of these titles are good.

Dave! (23:42.978) which is the version I want.

Bryan! (23:44.649) right? So, if you get it from Arrow, you get the movie that has the original title over it. It's a slasher. Uh so, that was the one before it got to shell for several years. So, then in eighty-seven, it was finally put together. It was cut significantly and was retitled to Nightmare at Shadow Woods and then it was released very briefly in theaters, I believe in Florida.

Dave! (24:09.254) and it was also heavily edited. And then it got even further edited for television.

Bryan! (24:11.277) Yeah, yeah, for some reason. Which is crazy, because the feature length version, like the restored version that Arrow does, not the composite version, it's like 82 minutes. Yeah, it's crazy. So same year, Grismer's original cut of the movie was retitled to Blood Rage and then released to videotape. And then Arrow comes along, makes both versions available in a three disc release a couple of years back, that also includes a third composite cut.

Dave! (24:20.61) That's like 87 minutes.

Bryan! (24:40.401) I'm not going to be pleased Woods has scenes in it that version doesn't but apparently like filler ** in the same TV version of Halloween is. So Lasser clashed so hard and so

walked off set and refused to come back. Marion Cant.

Dave! (25:12.614) I'll tell you though, it seems like everybody when they talk about, specifically when people talk about Louise Lassner in this movie, everyone seems really careful about what they say. Everyone's just like, oh no, she worked on the movie, she was there, yep, she's a lady, she's an actor in the film, yes. Yep, no we did, I wrote a check to her, yes. Yep. Was she any good in it? She's in the movie.

Bryan! (25:28.332) Ha ha.

Bryan! (25:33.125) I do recall her being on set, yes.

Bryan! (25:38.911) Yeah. Mayor. She is an actor.

Dave! (25:43.894) Yeah, there's a lot of that, because there's a lot of like, people being like, some people are like, oh, Louise Lassner, she was a real trip. And it's like, I think I know what you're getting at here. And then when you add, like, there's an interview with her, and I think it's from the Arrow release, that she's talking about, like, this scene, because she doesn't really say much about, she doesn't seem to remember much. Well, she says she doesn't remember much, but then she goes on to talk about it with details. It's like, I think you do, but...

She doesn't talk about the director specifically. She talks about the role though, and the way she talks about it is that like, you get the feeling she didn't really understand it, and she didn't really understand horror in general. She had never really been in a horror movie. And I think by extension, she didn't get horror movies at all, she'd never even seen one before. Because she seems to find it all very bewildering. And so they're like, in her head, it's like, okay.

Bryan! (26:37.253) Yeah.

Dave! (26:39.978) You're terrified. You're really freaked out. You're scared. And to her, that translates to, you're a fucking maniac through this entire movie, because she spends a quarter of this movie just screaming. Incoherently.

Bryan! (26:51.729) or yeah or like sobbing on the phone. Yeah, it's really bizarre like

Dave! (26:56.414) It's a lot of really weird shit. So everybody is just like, uh, yeah, no, she was in it. It was a real wild experience. What's up with the producer? He's even like, uh, it was a real rough experience for everybody.

Bryan! (27:09.805) It's yeah, it sounds like it like.

Dave! (27:11.97) But it sounds like she just didn't, like he was just trying to like, let's just fucking get through this movie. And she was just like, what's my motivation? And he's like, I don't know anymore. I don't even know what you're doing anymore.

Bryan! (27:22.305) I don't care. I just want to get done with this. I need to I know what I I'm writing a play about basketball. So, yeah. Marion Cantor, the producer. Also, she's the woman who plays the doctor in this. She plays the doctor because the woman that they cast for the role just didn't show up for the part.

Dave! (27:25.322) I don't even need to get paid, just go away!

Dave! (27:45.25) Which explains a lot of things, even until when we get to them, it explains certain things.

Bryan! (27:50.289) that. So, I suspect, yeah, that, like you said, I think that Louise Lasser was very, very difficult to work with. She seems to be.

Dave! (28:00.118) Which is a real, like I hate that phrase because it's a really loaded phrase that's usually used to be like, oh, she's a woman in Hollywood, she's just a bitch. And it's like, no, I think this time Louise Lasser might've actually been pretty difficult to work.

Bryan! (28:07.789) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (28:12.361) right? Yeah. So, yeah, good god but and it shows but the thing is for me, the reason to watch this movie is her. For like through and through.

Dave! (28:20.478) Yeah, because if anyone ever wonders what is camp, Louise Lasser in this movie is camp.

Bryan! (28:26.145) it's oh man because the rest of the movie it's just it's a mostly unremarkable slasher it's got some key moments of violence that really are very cool but the story is dumb all the care all the all the characters are fucking morons like it's just there's one particular character that when she finally dies I was like oh thank god so uh

Dave! (28:38.345) barely non-existent.

Dave! (28:50.474) Yeah, this is like a very bad, like, if you think about like, Slashers and maybe this kind of cycle of horror movies in general as like a game of telephone, this is the kind of at the end where you start with like, Bob Clark and John Carpenter being like, we're gonna make awesome fucking movies, everybody. And then it kind of gets filtered down and filtered down and eventually everyone's just like, what is it?

They're all really horny and awful and then they get killed very brutally? Sounds great, let's make that. And it's like, no, no. I think you missed a big chunk of what was happening before. Because this is that. These people are fucking deplorable and all they wanna do is have sex and they're all awful, let's kill them.

Bryan! (29:16.729) Yeah

Bryan! (29:21.406) Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Bryan! (29:30.305) Yep, precisely, yeah. So also I have a feeling that this is, that even though John Grismer is the director, I have a feeling that Marianne Cantor is, this was primarily her production.

Dave! (29:40.126) Well, I think that's also why this movie took so long to come out on, like in a physical release for like home media, is it sounds like there was a lot of back and forth between, or like there was a licensing issues and rights issues where she was trying to buy the rights back because whoever owned them was like, yeah, no, we don't really want to put any more money into this, we're not putting it out. And so she was like, it took forever until she finally got them back. It sounds like she was very much the one driving this whole.

Bryan! (30:06.317) Yeah, because she was the one who got all the money together to make it. And it was all it was all put together from like, there's no there's no film production. There's no production company behind this was purely independent. And it was it was financed by like investors, meaning like people she knew.

Dave! (30:21.226) Yeah, when I use the term regional slasher, I should probably clarify that that's what that means. It doesn't have a studio backing it. It's not shot in Hollywood. It's like regional movies are movies that are made usually with money kind of funded. They're funded by like local investors in like a producer. That's how the movie gets made. And some of them are, most of them are terrible. But I mean, Halloween was a regional slasher. So some of them are great.

Bryan! (30:47.877) Yeah. Yep.

Dave! (30:49.942) But there are very, very few informants.

Bryan! (30:53.473) The music is a rad electronic score by Richard Einhorn, as we mentioned. The themes... I don't know. The theme song is the one song that every outrun musician has been copying since the mid-2000s. He also did great scores for the Prowler, and don't go in the house.

Dave! (30:57.122) Hell yeah. Why is this not out on anything?

Dave! (31:11.879) Broward's one of my favorites. Don't go in the house, I don't love it.

Bryan! (31:15.635) I love the disco songs.

Dave! (31:16.958) Didn't he do, he also did, uh, what's the Nazi zombie one? Did he do that?

Bryan! (31:20.677) Oh, Shockwaves. Yeah, he did. He did some stuff with Ken Wetterhorn also, but he did that one. Yeah. And another one that I'm forgetting the title on. That's a dude who I cannot abide by his fucking Shockwaves. When I finally caught up to that when I was like, Oh, God, this is the movie that people have been like praising for so many years. It's unbelievable. It's extremely fucking boring. And it makes perfect sense that like, Return to the Living Dead is as bad as it is because he's the fucking one who

Dave! (31:37.438) Oh, it's fucking terrible. It's like almost unwatchable.

Bryan! (31:49.701) pulled up to try to like reproduce the energy and magic of the original. Anyway, so we open on a drive-in theater in 1974 in Jacksonville, Florida for some reason.

Dave! (32:03.714) which is actually in beautiful New Jersey.

Bryan! (32:07.045) So a dapper 80s gentleman buys some popcorn, then pops into the restroom to what would seem to be buying drugs from a shifty dude in an overcoat.

Dave! (32:15.654) Either that or meeting an anonymous man for sex. Because that is how that shit reads real hard. Ted Ramey sidles up to him, kind of gives him the eye, opens his jacket, and is like, condoms? And it's like, OK, I'm pretty sure I know where this is going. I have seen this in some other movies. No, it's not. It's just like some weird 80s shit where it's like, this would work in a high school cafeteria in an 80s kind of sex comedy. It is.

Bryan! (32:19.602) That's...

Peace.

Bryan! (32:28.672) Yep.

Bryan! (32:32.869) Ha ha ha.

Bryan! (32:43.866) Yeah.

Dave! (32:44.994) plays very, very different in a horror movie where everyone is ostensibly an adult and this shit's real fucking creepy because there's no words. There's not like there's like people clamoring around and he's not like the kid in the high school movie that's got like porn mags and condoms and whatever. It's just like a dude who kind of like slowly and slyly approaches him. It's like, hey, this feels weird.

Bryan! (32:47.976) Ha ha!

Bryan! (33:00.834) Yeah.

Bryan! (33:06.673) Oh yeah, and for some reason he's costumed like he just stepped off the set of The Grapes of Wrath.

Dave! (33:12.306) Well, either that or he's got a real heavy, like, pretty-and-pink vibe. Like, just kind of like real dapper, like, ring-a-ding, kind of like, eh, alright, well, it's Jacksonville, so... You know, it's classy for Jacksonville, I guess. Apologies to anyone in- You know what? Not apologies to anyone in Jacksonville. That stakes and suck it.

Bryan! (33:20.009) Yeah. Yep.

Bryan! (33:26.329) Yeah. But yeah.

Bryan! (33:31.633) you've yeah you've had your chance at Florida. So yeah, he's selling condoms like a creep and I realized that this is very convenient if you're at the movies you want to have sex but this guy could have just gone to CVS before the movie but the the the all the condoms have really like I mean apart from like the Trojans, they have really ** funny names like Sheik as in like Oil Sheik and Fiesta.

Dave! (33:55.99) as in oil fiesta.

Bryan! (33:58.051) Oil Fiesta!

Dave! (33:59.682) my new band Oil Fiesta.

Bryan! (34:00.881) So, yeah. So, now say goodbye to Ted because he's not coming back. And apparently, this is where everybody goes to ** It's like a public park in England or something.

Dave! (34:11.414) There's something really weird about this shot. So in the Ted Ramey interview I watched, he talks about how like this was in an abandoned drive-in in New Jersey. And he was like, there were so many abandoned drive-ins in that time. And I thought, is that why they show up in movies a lot in the 80s and into the early 90s? It's like these places, they looked more or less the way that they were left when people left them in the late 70s, early 80s, because the multiplexes took over and nobody went to the drive-in.

Bryan! (34:36.109) Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, I, you know, it's something that I kind of think about and it's like it was something that you saw a lot in the 80s because a lot of these movies obviously are being written by boomers and so for the same reason that like whenever they do like a comedy or something like that pop music would feature it was always like Little Richard or you know or you know or something like old

Dave! (34:57.526) Yeah, thanks Kenneth Anger.

Bryan! (35:03.885) music from like 1960 or something like that. Yeah. So, I, yeah, it's just, it's just, it's boomer nostalgia for, you know, that

Dave! (35:05.206) Yeah, it's American graffiti.

It's Happy Days in American Graffiti.

But I wonder if like, you know, it's like, it would be like shooting in a mall now. Like, because there are so many empty malls, you can do that shit for cheap and you don't have to worry about like, you know, shooting down in downtown area. There's not gonna be any people there because you can see a lot of the shots in this scene are really tight shots. And it's probably because they did not have enough people to fill out this place. So you'll see when there are certain scenes where the camera will pan left or right, it's like, oh, it looks fucking vacant.

Bryan! (35:18.381) Oh yeah.

Bryan! (35:38.959) Yeah.

Dave! (35:39.03) when they really pull back, but like everything's a real tight shot. And they're all sexy people, young, making out. Well, not everybody is young and sexy.

Bryan! (35:47.134) Yep, it's supposed to be this...

It's supposed to be the 70s, but everybody is like in their fucking 80s fashion and they're all like

Dave! (35:56.834) Yeah, they throw in a few like, kind of leisure suit looking dudes and like guys with like a true waisted pant. But for the most part, everybody in the scene looks like they're in 1983.

Bryan! (36:08.589) Yep. And so everybody except the hippie and his old lady start making out like every like every single car just devolves it. No, she wants to watch the movie, which is I think the house that cried murder. And yeah, it's so if there's like I said, everyone's making out, including a girl who takes a huge draw for cigarette and immediately leans in to kiss her boyfriend. Yeah. Oh, just, just

Dave! (36:12.334) Yeah, she's not into it.

Dave! (36:21.971) terrible name.

Dave! (36:30.5) Ugh.

Dave! (36:33.614) There's nothing hard about that. Ugh.

Bryan! (36:37.553) It's the mouth full of menthol. So Virginia Slims. So Maddie Simmons played by Louis Lasser is also at the. I oh my God, dude, everything about the sort of like intimate moments in this movie make me cringe like fucking crazy. And this is exhibit a.

Dave! (36:39.634) Oh god, Parliament lights.

Dave! (36:47.886) who is fucking awkward from the jump.

Dave! (36:59.842) Because I don't want to be unkind here, which is a great way to start any sentence. I don't want to be unkind, but she plays this role, like she has been kicked in the head by a horse. She- and it does not help that they try to make her look younger. Like she has like this real kind of holly hobby, more like baby Jane Hudson aesthetic that's so fucking creepy.

Bryan! (37:03.729) Hahaha

Bryan! (37:11.598) Ha ha!

Dave! (37:26.462) And it is like, are you trying to make her look younger? Because by making her look younger, you're making her look worse.

Bryan! (37:26.583) It's, well...

Bryan! (37:31.809) I can't tell if they made, like, I mean, they must have made an attempt to sort of be like, okay, so this is 1974, and so she's going to look a little young, because in the next scene when we jump forward 10 years, she's wearing practically the same dress. She's got her hair in the same exact style with the same shit in her hair.

Dave! (37:51.766) and like just really heavy makeup.

Bryan! (37:54.225) Yeah, yeah. So, so she's at this theater with a guy who is the slowest kisser in the history of the human race. They stare. Oh, he sucks. ** this guy. I wish Terry could have killed him. So, they stare at each other awkwardly while he slowly, very, very slowly and deliberately moves in but that is it's the worst. She doesn't wanna go too far because her boys are sleeping in the back of the station wagon.

Dave! (38:03.894) He's a real scumbag, too.

Dave! (38:15.558) Oh god, it's so gross.

Bryan! (38:24.005) they are in fact because we see them. So undeterred he slowly...

Dave! (38:27.958) with a bizarre plastic machine gun laying across them.

Bryan! (38:32.366) I know, because it disappears and then it reappears later in Terry's room. So yeah.

Dave! (38:37.818) Ah, kids' toys. They just don't make them like they used to. Back when America was great.

Bryan! (38:40.505) Nope. Realistic, realistic rifles. Yep, undeterred, he slowly ever so slowly goes to kiss her again. And this time the boys wake up and one of them says, Mom's at it again.

Dave! (38:43.99) Yeah, that's an assault rifle, kid.

Dave! (38:56.182) Yeah, mom's at what again? Making out with a deadbeat in the front? Like, has this happened a lot?

Bryan! (38:58.645) Oh, she's a hoe. Yep. Oh, she's trying to she's trying to lay into a man. So they slip out the back and they go wandering around the lot.

Dave! (39:04.843) Yeah, she is.

Dave! (39:10.258) One of them goes, let's get out of here. Yeah, go hack some people to death. It doesn't make a lot of sense as, but there's so many points in this movie where it is just like, how do we advance the plot? I don't fucking know. Just put in a weird moment, get to it. There's no Deus Ex anything. It's just like, I don't know. Then this happened, I guess. It's like they just sneak out of the bed of the, what is it, station wagon? And they're like, oh, let's go out and kill somebody. Like, what?

Bryan! (39:24.1) Yeah.

Bryan! (39:29.238) Yeah.

Bryan! (39:35.075) Station Wagon.

Dave! (39:39.202) What is the, what is the prompt here?

Bryan! (39:39.277) Yeah, so to Yep, Terry finds a hatchet in the back of a pickup truck, and he takes it with him. And then wandering some more, he finds the guy from before from the restroom, the one who bought the rubbers fully naked, fully nude in the back of the car. No, no.

Dave! (39:50.52) Yeah. Fully nude, both of them. Ha ha ha.

Dave! (39:57.962) Now if anyone has ever had sex in the back of a car, it's uncomfortable to begin with. Nobody's getting fully nude at all. These two though, they are like at home, and very comfortable.

Bryan! (40:03.484) Ha ha ha!

Bryan! (40:08.297) It's like they got a waterbed in the back.

Dave! (40:09.77) Yeah, well, it is 1983, and they probably do. They better have a waterbed. There's nothing better in this world than smoking pot and having sex in a waterbed. I heard that in another movie. That movie is pieces, y'all, and it's great.

Bryan! (40:13.877) Oh, I know.

Bryan! (40:20.57) at the yeah. So episode three, watch it. Terry leads in watching them do it while Todd lurks in the background. And when he's busted by the guy for watching them, Terry starts whacking the dude in the face with the hatchet. And then the lady takes off screaming into the night fully nude.

Dave! (40:39.466) Yeah. Just like you do out of driving, I assume.

Bryan! (40:45.433) Yep. So back in the station wagon, Maddie stops the slow kiss and do it again who gets frustrated proclaiming this time. This is why I don't do women who drag their kids around with them. Yeah, when she looks back in the and when she looks in the back, the boys are gone. So now,

Dave! (40:55.55) Okay, fair. Fair if you're a dirtbag from the 70s. Disco Stew does not advertise.

Bryan! (41:15.249) smears a little on his brother Todd's face. He puts the hatchet in his hand when everybody comes over, including Maddie, but Todd is now catatonic at what he has seen. So obviously everybody assumes that Todd did it, even though his brother is absolutely covered in fucking blood.

Dave! (41:33.714) And also, the girl who was in the car saw them both. She should be able to point out which one was the killer.

Bryan! (41:42.277) Oh, but could she? Because they're twins, you see. Yeah. So yeah.

Dave! (41:44.278) Well, they are dressed differently. But she was fully nude and running away, so who knows what she's up to.

Bryan! (41:50.941) So now we flash forward 10 years and mom has an agent today. Nope, she's. She's got those. She's got those Louise Lasser jeans. She visits Todd at the mental hospital that he's been locked up in ever since. And her doctor, his doctor tells her that Todd is starting to remember what happened and he blames his brother, but she won't hear it. For some reason, this is all done in voiceover from the doctor's notes.

Dave! (41:55.01) Nope. She still looks creepy as hell.

Dave! (42:15.318) Here's why I think it's done in voiceover. My guess is they showed up in Florida to make this movie. The person who was supposed to play the role did not show up. And so what's her face? Can't her? Is that her name? She jumps in and she's like, fuck it. I'll do it. I'm game because that's what you do. But she does not know the part. And so they have to do ADR later when she's reading the script. That's my theory on this one.

Bryan! (42:38.84) Okay.

Bryan! (42:42.015) I that makes sense. I'd buy it.

Dave! (42:43.542) Because it doesn't like, she's in it a couple more times, but not, she doesn't say much. And then she dies a hilarious death.

Bryan! (42:48.621) right? But the thing is, she's she is an actress because she'd been in a bunch of stuff before this.

Dave! (42:53.271) Yes.

No, she's fine. It's just that you get the feeling like, oh, they just didn't, she didn't have time to learn this before they were like had to get, you know, fucking cameras going, get in there and they just, the dialogue has to come later. So she kind of like peas and carrots is her way through it and then they fix it and post.

Bryan! (43:01.361) Oh, she had, yeah, she had no prep.

Yeah.

So the doctor break. Yeah. So the doctor brings out Todd to see his mom. It's Thanksgiving and she brought him pie, which he pushes up, which.

Dave! (43:19.858) Okay, I missed the pie part of this. So when he starts crushing this thing, I was like, did she bring up like a box of peanut butter? What is this?

Bryan! (43:24.454) Ha ha ha!

Dave! (43:29.902) What an odd gift.

Bryan! (43:31.945) up he pushes it up in his hands and angrily throws it at the wall. I love this. I love this scene because he's like he's like very intensely just mashing it up.

Dave! (43:42.75) And he has this like look, I think they do a pretty good job because they're both played by the same person. They do a pretty good job of differentiating Todd and Terry aesthetically, like visually. Todd has this like shell shocked wet look to him all the time.

Bryan! (44:00.505) Have you ever watched? I think you should leave. So there's that guy that actor, Connor O'Malley. He I whenever I see Todd, I think of Connor O'Malley's character from the Hawk of your horny sketch where he's just he look yeah, he's all like disheveled and fucked up and they look almost identical because yeah.

Dave! (44:02.848) Yes.

Dave! (44:16.403) I did see a sticker that said that on someone's car recently, but I have not seen that.

Dave! (44:24.974) But they make him look a little bit silly. Like, it's like, okay, I get that you need to make, you have to be able to tell these two apart for the sake of the film. But like, he just looks like, you know, this is someone who is, by their account, not mentally ill, maybe traumatized a little bit, but like, he is like catatonic most of the time. He looks like a, his performance is like that of a frightened dog.

Bryan! (44:54.241) Yeah, yeah, that's fair. So back at home, Terry, the other twin is playing football in tight in tiny, tiny shorts.

Dave! (45:01.774) Oh boy. Short shorts ahoy, everybody! And none of the men in this scene are wearing underwear, just FYI. I don't know how they could!

Bryan! (45:10.369) Hahaha

Bryan! (45:14.189) they're all wearing. There's like three dudes, there's a couple of chicks, and the dudes are all oh yeah like

Dave! (45:17.346) Yeah, it is like some real 80s, real 80s fashion. This is like real, this is real like Eat, Shit, and Live Bill kind of territory.

Bryan! (45:25.117) right. They they must those shorts must have had something to contain them because like these they're balls could have just fallen right out of these things. It's unbelievable. Uh but yeah uh he's got his uh dapper 80s friends and their girlfriends. When along comes Andrea head to toe in a jazzercise outfit who is home from oh Jesus Christ man. Not a broad to be seen in this movie.

Dave! (45:41.974) Nipples McGee vocals.

Nope. Well, hey, it's fair. Nobody else is wearing underwear, why isn't she?

Bryan! (45:49.901) It's a very egalitarian set. So Terry takes an immediate shine to her in spite of kissing his girlfriend Karen only seconds before. So now we cut to dinner and everybody is in extreme close up and it's just shot after shot of people like laughing. Just having a great time like the scene in Ron Burgundy where they're an astute observation has led to laughter. We are laughing.

Dave! (46:12.248) Yes.

Dave! (46:17.886) It's very like, this is again a moment like when younger people are like, oh the 80s were so cool and I'm like no no, this is what the 80s actually looks like. The fashion and the decor in this movie are fucking vile.

Bryan! (46:27.999) Oh my god, that's the thing is

Bryan! (46:36.64) I have a note in here that this movie is a perfect time capsule of like the of the early 80s because

Dave! (46:40.034) Yep. Which is why it doesn't work in 1987, because it is a really ugly movie. That is, it just feels so out of time.

Bryan! (46:47.695) Yeah.

Bryan! (46:51.117) Yeah. And like especially once we get into the apartments because the apartments were very clearly built in the 70s because there's like thick shag carpeting on the floor and there's like a

Dave! (47:00.812) Yeah, it's like that shitty apartment you live in floor.

Bryan! (47:04.761) Yeah. Yeah, that's accurate.

Dave! (47:06.59) or that shitty apartment I lived in Weymouth, which I like to think of as Massachusetts is Florida.

Bryan! (47:14.583) Yeah, it really is. It's just like wood paneling and like all the all the brown is offset with green. It's a sort of environment that really makes you want to throw up.

Dave! (47:23.97) Yeah, it's like this avocado carpet. I think there's carpet in the kitchen, which I always find disgusting. There's probably carpet in the bathroom, which I find doubly disgusting. Ah, this movie makes me wanna barf.

Bryan! (47:30.649) Hahaha

Dave! (47:40.174) There are so many notes that I have that just say, whatever the note is, and then it says, God, it's so 80s. It's in here like nine times.

Bryan! (47:40.325) So.

Bryan! (47:48.293) that we've got, there's a woman, there's a character in this movie who I just, I don't know her name. I just call her 80s lady because she is the fucking icon of the 80s and we'll get there. So Maddie and her boyfriend Brad announced that they're getting married, which leaves Terry shook. And meanwhile,

Dave! (48:04.679) Oh, and Terry has on a shirt with a popped collar and a tie, which doesn't work that well.

Bryan! (48:09.045) in a tie. The tie is very loose.

know but he's he also he is also like Quinn essentially eighties and this like he is the proto yuppie and um it's I see a lot of parallels between him and like Patrick Bateman

Dave! (48:18.878) Oh yeah, like gently feathered hair.

Dave! (48:29.774) Hmm, I hate that.

Bryan! (48:33.749) So, Maddie, meanwhile, is looking seriously unhealthy because we get a lot of really tight close-ups of her face and I don't know if it's that's the thing.

Dave! (48:40.77) But I think that just Louise Lassner just looks seriously unhealthy. Like, I don't think that's the character. I think it's just Baby Jane on camera. Like, that's just how she looks at that time.

Bryan! (48:50.381) That's the thing, that's my note. I can't tell if it's because of makeup or that's just how she looks.

Dave! (48:54.838) And again, I don't want to be unkind. She's not, it's just that she looks so, it's like uncanny valley. Like her teeth are huge and like her, there's so much fucking pancake makeup on. And she's got this garish like eyeshadow and her hair is in ribbons, like a little girl's hair. It's just really, the whole thing's very unsettling.

Bryan! (49:08.889) There's a

Bryan! (49:13.473) Yeah, like her eyes are also very dark in a way that doesn't it like that says like I have not slept much lately and not like this is makeup. It's really Yeah, so Terry proposes a toast to this announcement by lifting it. A tall glass of milk.

Dave! (49:21.902) Yeah, cuz of fucking dollhouse cocaine, that's why.

Dave! (49:29.482) And he is drinking milk.

I can't like, okay, we just talked about how fucking disgusting this decor is. I can't imagine anything more disgusting than Thanksgiving dinner and a big glass of milk. I don't like milk at all, but Jesus, ugh. Get out, God. Ugh.

Bryan! (49:43.841) big, thick, warm glass of, glass of whole milk on Thanksgiving Eve. I know. And so, their body language, him and his mom is abarming. And the, yeah, and the way that she holds him and caresses him, I'd like to think that it's some kind of subtle to device to indicate the unhealthy nature of their relationship.

Dave! (49:59.062) Yeah, there's some real weird shit in this later.

Bryan! (50:11.161) but I think I might be giving the movie a little too much credit.

Dave! (50:15.49) Maybe not. The 80s seemed weirdly preoccupied with subtle incest in ways that it's like, what is this? Prom night two. I mean, that's real kind of overt. It's real caressing in a way that makes everybody uncomfortable. It's just like, hey, we're not saying that that's what it is. We're not crossing any lines here. We're just going to put you on your heels a little bit. And boy do they.

Bryan! (50:25.481) Yeah.

Bryan! (50:37.017) Yep.

Bryan! (50:41.041) Just a boy, just a lot of like kiss.

Dave! (50:43.05) And then she says, I'd say that this big bird is ready for carving. And my note says, I think she's talking about the turkey question mark.

Bryan! (50:52.605) Yeah. So, while all this is happening, Maddie receives a phone call and she retires to the kitchen to take it and then Terry follows her into the kitchen and it's

Dave! (51:06.338) And this kitchen looks like the house we lived in like 1985. That's that kitchen reminder.

Bryan! (51:12.225) Yeah, yeah. Yep. And she, we find out that was the mental hospital that called informing her that Todd is missing. And she says, she's basically like, we need to we need to keep this between us and don't tell anybody, because I want this Thanksgiving to be perfect. And I don't want to ruin it with this.

Dave! (51:32.778) Now I'm gonna interject with a note here. And again, I don't wanna harp on her appearance, but I'm gonna tell you this. This is how I know that the camp in this movie comes mostly from Louise Lasser because given the dress that she's wearing, I'm just going to have to assume there are no gay men involved in this.

Bryan! (51:50.769) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Dave! (51:52.426) Because that dress does nothing for anybody.

Bryan! (51:55.249) I find, oh my god, I find myself repelled a little bit. Again, god, I don't wanna fucking make this about her appearance, but it feels like a very, it feels intentional.

Dave! (52:03.362) But her appearance feels intentional because that's not what she looks like in real life. In life, she doesn't look like this weird kind of bottom shelf Jane Hudson. It's this very, her teeth look fake, her tits look weird, her dress is awful, her hair is in pigtails in this kind of little girl pageant show way. Everything about this appearance is off putting. And I think that's either intentional or she just like.

didn't understand the assignment in the weirdest possible way. Like it's not like a comment on like, oh, she's an unattractive woman. I don't give a shit about that. And I don't think she is. I think it's just like whoever did this or why they did it. I think this is done intentionally and it just doesn't make sense because there's no explanation.

Bryan! (52:36.365) Yeah, yeah, it's got.

Bryan! (52:51.985) there's no context for it whatsoever. You're just supposed to kind of pick up on it through just watching it. And I think the only reason that I really ever sort of noticed it is just because in the last year, I've watched this movie a bunch of times. So like, it's subtle. It's too subtle for a movie that just has zero subtlety.

Dave! (53:12.258) Yeah, like if you watch the other shit she's not, like even if you watch, you know, in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, she's like, you know, she looks a little Southern, but like, other than that, she's a fine looking woman, like she looks normal. There's nothing weird about her appearance, like.

Bryan! (53:23.565) Oh yeah, I would call her pretty for sure. Like there's, she's an attractive woman.

Dave! (53:30.626) She has a very 70s look about her. She's a very 70s aesthetic, but like, you know, she's an attractive woman. But like, that's why every time I see it, this feels like it's being done intentionally. I just don't know who did it or why.

Bryan! (53:34.298) for sure.

Bryan! (53:45.349) Yeah, yeah. But in the next scene, Terry emerges from the kitchen. The first thing he does is tell everybody at the table that his brother escaped to his mother's horror. So after dinner,

Dave! (53:56.846) I mean, I don't know how you'd know. This is what her face looks like the entire movie. She just has this kind of shocked, horrified look on her face the whole time. Yeah, or baffled. She's just like, where am I?

Bryan! (54:06.133) resting shocked face is what I would call it. Yeah. So after dinner, she retreats to a room to stare at a wall of photos of Terry when in walks Brad, who sits down and starts making out with her.

Dave! (54:19.298) Yeah, Brad is really aggressively handsy in a way I do not like. So I watch, you know, one of the things that we pay attention to as we're watching these is like shit we wouldn't have noticed as children. And the thing that I am bothered by a lot is how physical men are with women. And it bothers me when I see it in public in general, it bothers me when I see it in movies and he is so aggressive. He's grabbing her face, he's grabbing her arm. Now Brad is a disgusting beast.

Bryan! (54:46.33) Yeah.

Dave! (54:48.33) And I don't mind saying that, Brad looks like his face is melting off of him. Like, he looks like he is made of wax, and he is terrible. We don't have to endure him for long, though.

Bryan! (54:49.46) Ha ha ha.

Bryan! (54:55.929) he, yeah, he looks like, Vanger, he looks like,

Bryan! (55:02.373) father character from a forgotten 70s sitcom. It's really.

Dave! (55:06.182) Yeah. Like however much pancake makeup Luis Lassar has on, he has three times as much.

Bryan! (55:13.459) Yeah. So.

Dave! (55:15.062) And he just like, he looks old and sick and terrible.

Bryan! (55:17.921) But yeah, the way that he sits down, and it looks like he's just gonna comfort her, but the first thing he fucking does is he like, he puts his arm around her and he pulls her in really, really fucking tight and close, and then he grabs her by the fucking chin.

Dave! (55:29.302) Yeah, he does the Shelly Winters thing, that commanding, like, I'm in control of this scene, but I just hate watching men grab women. Well, I mean, I hate watching men grab anybody, but, like, I hate watching men grab women in that way. It really bothers me. And so the whole time watching him, I'm like, well, thank God he dies soon, because this guy sucks.

Bryan! (55:45.737) Yeah, I fucking hate this character, Brad. So she pushes him away, declares that she just needs to clean the house to feel better. Which kicks off just a frantic series.

Dave! (55:54.243) No.

Dave! (55:58.194) Which is another moment that's like, is this an ad-lib line? Because this really dominates the character for pretty much the rest of the movie.

Bryan! (56:02.411) Yeah.

the rest of the movie, this is Brad, we find out is the super

Dave! (56:14.535) He has super condo complex super energy.

Bryan! (56:17.645) Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's he's a bureaucrat 100%. Oh, but I but I forgot. I forgot.

Dave! (56:20.706) He's like, I'm the general of this army, and this Jacksonville complex.

Bryan! (56:27.313) because we cut to Terry, he goes to answer the door and he's ambushed by a hospital orderly at the front door who yeah who accosts him with a tranquilizer gun. You know, so Todd's doctor is also there and she deescalates the situation and Brad and Maddie come running up and I'm seeing the gun. She shouts. What's that gun?

Dave! (56:32.261) This part is awesome.

Dave! (56:47.146) Yeah, and then she goes, Dr. Berman, have you found him? And in the greatest, flattest moment of this entire movie, she goes, no, I haven't even looked yet.

Bryan! (56:55.762) Hahaha!

He's going to be up front with you.

Dave! (56:59.518) It's like, it's like Tim Curry and Clue delivery. Like, what are you talking about?

Bryan! (57:06.09) So, now we talk about Brad, we find out he's super in the whole place. He informs the doctor where she should start looking for Todd, which is out of the back patios, and they have a nature trail out of the backwoods. And so Jackie, yep. Jackie the orderly is told to go and search the patios with a doctor goes out of the back of the nature trail.

Dave! (57:18.414) full of bobcats. Nothing but alligators and bobcats.

Dave! (57:27.69) Now, much like everybody in this movie, Jackie is here to die.

Bryan! (57:31.041) Yep. And his death is pretty fucking funny. So yeah, in his office, Brad Cacks cracks a cold can of old style beer listens to a little religious programming on the radio. While Terry sneaks up behind him with a machete. And for a movie made in Florida, that's a pretty authentic touch there when I when I was when I was moving down there at the radio on the whole time, because we didn't have a CD player or anything in the truck.

And so it was just like scanning the fucking airwaves. And I swear to God, there was many just religious programming stations. Like after a certain point in America, they had as many as like rock stations. It was a little fucking crazy.

Dave! (58:14.722) How folksy and offensive.

Bryan! (58:18.033) But uh yeah, so before the carnage starts, he introduces us to Chekov's gun.

which is literally which it's a toy because later on it's an actual like prop pistol that's right but there's two there's two anyways there's two guns and play in this movie and I think I suspect that both guns are the same prop but in this scene he takes out what is very clearly a toy pistol

Dave! (58:26.178) Check out his plastic gun.

which could not look more fake.

Dave! (58:35.158) No, there's a different gun.

Dave! (58:45.323) Yeah, they look the same.

Dave! (58:50.518) Yeah, it is like very obviously plastic. And I think you would even notice that, if you're watching this on, what is probably shot at 16 millimeter, if you're watching it on the big screen, you'd still notice this is a plastic gun. Like the color is worn down in certain places. Like it's not even a new toy gun, it's a used toy gun, which come on, blood rage.

Bryan! (58:59.502) Yeah.

Bryan! (59:13.469) I know. So, when he turns, Terry chops his hand off. He says something like, well, look what the cat dragged in but before he can finish what he was saying, Terry chops his hand off.

Dave! (59:23.114) Now my favorite thing about this, so the hand hits the floor and it is with the beer in still in it and it's supposed to look like a PBR can I'm guessing. And so in like the hand is still twitching. Now IMDB lists this moment as a goof quote unquote because it's like something about like well the human hand doesn't have the nerve. I'm just like oh my fucking god. Seriously? Listen, listen horror people. Just shut up.

Bryan! (59:26.743) With the beer can in it.

Bryan! (59:32.101) Yeah.

Bryan! (59:47.236) Yeah.

Bryan! (59:51.273) just shut the fuck up. Do we do we all do we also? Yeah, do we also want to comment on the fact that part of your of your wrist has two bones in it and not the one that you see? Yeah, fuck it. Who cares? Who gives a shit? You know what I say to them? Hey, shut up. Just shut up. Yeah. So

Dave! (59:51.767) You're all taking this shit too seriously. This is not a goof. This is a dumb moment.

Dave! (01:00:03.254) No, no, because none of that matters.

Dave! (01:00:08.586) Yeah, yeah, you're ruining the movie. Stop talking.

Bryan! (01:00:17.177) Yeah, so we see the blood hand with the beer can still in it blood spurting from the stump And now meanwhile Jackie and the doctor wander around in their respective locations looking for Todd

Dave! (01:00:27.498) And it's real Keystone Cops shit. This is like, this whole movie is nothing but bumbling peep.

Bryan! (01:00:29.729) Yeah, it really is. And so Jackie.

this one, the scene in particular, Jackie decides that he should lure Todd out with a little weed. He sits down, he sits down on some stranger's patio lights up a joint. Now in walks Terry with a machete conspicuously tucked behind his back. And the two of them smoke the joint. So when Jackie tells Terry that Todd told her that he never

Dave! (01:00:39.398) Mm-hmm, like you do.

Dave! (01:00:55.202) And Jackie's like, you just said Jackie's like legit douchebag. Like he's got on like cutoff, it's like sleeveless sweatshirt. He's got a real shitty mustache. It's like kind of not quite there.

Bryan! (01:01:05.901) Yeah. He's a totally, he's a big, he's a gigantic dummy.

Dave! (01:01:09.866) It's like when a 14-year-old tries to grow a mustache, and it's like, ugh, I feel bad. You don't know how bad you look, and I am embarrassed for you. It's that kind of thing.

Bryan! (01:01:12.785) Ha ha ha.

Bryan! (01:01:18.109) Yeah. So, uh, yeah. So he starts to tell Todd that or starts to tell Terry that Todd is like remembering things and he said that he told the doctor that he never killed anyone, which Terry says, Yes, he did. He runs them through the machete.

Dave! (01:01:35.606) Which I kinda like that moment. Because he doesn't say it like out loud, he says it kind of under his breath and then stabs him.

Bryan! (01:01:42.529) Yep, yep. And so this is actually, this is one of the, one of the cool special effects in the movie because. So,

Dave! (01:01:48.61) There are moments in this movie that work really, really well. It's just a shame that they're in this movie.

Bryan! (01:01:55.63) Yeah. So like, yeah, machete, not really a stabbing weapon, but who gives a shit. You can see the blade actually sliding through Jackie's body and what is a really neat illusion. I don't know how they did it. Because you the way that he's positioned

Dave! (01:02:10.194) Uh, it's a it's a thing that wraps around I don't know about this one in particular but I know this because of another thing we recorded recently where It's like a thing that wraps around the body and has a like a thing in the back that slides out So when they push in on the front something like the whoever the actor is like closes their arm or something like that And it pushes the thing out

Bryan! (01:02:26.138) Oh, no shit.

Bryan! (01:02:33.213) Oh, that's awesome. Because every time I watch it, I'm like, I watched it a couple of times, I'm like, damn, that's a really cool effect. Because it's

Dave! (01:02:39.998) It's the same effect that he does in Sleepaway Camp with the arrow through the neck, where it's like a thing where the other half of the arrow flips up from the back.

Bryan! (01:02:45.321) Oh yeah, okay.

Bryan! (01:02:51.225) That's right. Yeah, cuz um you know, just like the way that Jackie's body is positioned, it's not like they stabbed him through the arm or something like that. Like it's very it's very impressive. But uh yeah, in effects in this movie, well, not great. Definitely cut above the norm for the era. Also way more explicit and gory than

Dave! (01:03:10.61) Yeah, there are moments in this that are really violent.

Bryan! (01:03:13.517) Yeah, movie was very likely made on pocket change and they really make the most of the dollar in the effects department. It's it's very impressive. Back at home, Maddie sits on the floor in front of the open refrigerator.

Dave! (01:03:24.03) In the weirdest fucking scene in this entire movie, she's just pulling shit out of the refrigerator, eating it with her hands. This is, again, is that moment of like, what are you trying to convey to me? Are you trying to convey that you're mentally ill or that you're a really fragile woman and you're so shattered that this is how you're coping with this? Because I kinda get it, but at the same time, what the fuck?

Bryan! (01:03:27.213) It's one of my.

Bryan! (01:03:37.338) So.

Bryan! (01:03:49.209) So this is the thing is I suspect that all of these scenes of her just like rattling around the apartment being crazy, where the stuff that was shot after Grismer came back, and they were like, I guarantee, some of the conditions were okay, we're just going to do this without everybody else. And so it's gonna it's so it seems like she's in an entirely different movie just by herself because she is she seated on the floor, like a child. And she's

stuffing her face with like eating with her hands like a maniac in front of in front of this open refrigerator. It's

Dave! (01:04:23.722) Yeah, it's like the here were the notes for this. Everybody else understands they are in a slasher movie in 1983 and they behave as though they're in a slasher movie in 1983. She heard slasher movie in 1983 and immediately like flashed back to hysterical woman from a horror movie in the 40s because

Bryan! (01:04:46.114) like, oh no, you know what it like, oh my gosh, what's up? what kind of horror movies like somebody was like, oh, you so like, she watched just the

Dave! (01:04:59.17) Yeah, I don't remember anyone in Rosemary's baby sitting in front of the refrigerator stuffing their face with their hands.

Bryan! (01:05:04.181) Oh no, no.

Bryan! (01:05:10.172) I love this shot though. It's very fucking funny

Dave! (01:05:12.478) It is so strange, but this is like, anytime that someone's like, oh, well, Camp is this. No, Camp is this. Camp is Louise Lasser fucking cramming grain beans in her mouth with her goddamn hands. Fucking eat a bag of dicks, fucking Susan Sondag, that's Camp. Save that for the T-shirt.

Bryan! (01:05:19.065) This is Camp.

Bryan! (01:05:25.85) This is the.

Bryan! (01:05:31.238) Yeah, this is this is the archest shit you've ever seen. So out of the woods, Terry finds the doctor and attacks and she stands there like a moron with her mouth hanging open instead of running.

So back at home...

Dave! (01:05:47.51) Yeah, they really waste no time, though, like, really get into the killing in this. It's just like, well, they're getting married. I guess that's why he's got to kill people. Let's get to it, everybody.

Bryan! (01:05:57.481) Yeah. Because it definitely has a very strong start. It sags and then it really, really hits in the end. Pouring a humongous glass of wine. All right, because she like stops pouring it. And it's like, is she going to spill it?

Dave! (01:06:03.71) is this the part where she's dialing the phone and pouring wine at the same time? because that made me so anxious

Dave! (01:06:15.058) Yeah, I can't do things like that. I have to do one single thing at a time. And she's like dialing with one hand, pouring with the other, and just...

Bryan! (01:06:22.753) I think she's got a lit cigarette and what like in the in the. Yeah, it's. Yeah, this is this is the part of the movie where whatever she's doing diverges from the rest of the movie. It's like she's in an entirely different picture.

Dave! (01:06:24.622) Probably. It's 1983, why wouldn't she?

Dave! (01:06:34.574) Well, because she's also, it's worth noting she is separate from the whole movie. She exists in this world. Everybody else has people to play off of. She never does. She has Terry occasionally, but for the most part, she's acting by herself in this weird tiny apartment. So it's like, even if you gotta give her some credit, like if she doesn't know what to do, because one gets the feeling there's not a lot of strong directorial presence in this movie.

Bryan! (01:06:41.507) Yeah, because there's

Bryan! (01:06:47.099) Nope.

Dave! (01:07:04.294) And so she sort of kind of seems like she's just left to her own devices and is like, all right, well, I guess I'll direct myself in this weird one act play in this like fucking lock box. So everybody else has a movie to be in an ensemble cast such as it is. She is sort of really off on her own. And you feel that the whole time.

Bryan! (01:07:25.933) Oh yeah, this is like she's doing a one woman play of women on the edge of on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Like that's what yeah. So yeah, out in the woods, we see the aftermath of Terry's encounter with the doctor. She is torn in half.

Dave! (01:07:40.426) What is hilarious about this though? Cause obviously it's a very, it's like a very simple practical effect, but they didn't do enough to build up the torso. So like her head is normal, her shoulders are normal. The rest of her torso, cause she's kind of cut like right in the center. The rest of her torso is like half what it should be. So it's like something came along and ate half of her.

Bryan! (01:07:59.052) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:08:03.317) emptied her out. And so yeah, so now Todd has found his way home. Terry is in the bathroom examining all the gore all over his clothes. Showering in his underwear like you do. He licks the blood from his fingers and he utters a phrase they loved so much that you're going to hear it two more times. That's not cranberry sauce.

Dave! (01:08:12.602) Yep. Showering in his underwear.

Dave! (01:08:25.222) And I, you know, it feels, I have, I am on record as being, I have a very low opinion of trauma movies. I hate them for lots of different reasons. Mostly because I think they do not take anything seriously, which I find offensive. And the, this line of that's not cranberry sauce, it feels very trauma to me. It feels very juvenile, like, hey, right? Yeah, it's real funny, right? And it's like, okay, yeah, it's actually not that funny.

Bryan! (01:08:41.249) Hahaha

Dave! (01:08:54.586) But also stop saying it to me. Because it's not gonna get funnier when you say it more. It's not- it doesn't work like that. It's not like that cycles back around, like what is it, three times where it's like eventually you say it enough that it becomes funny? This isn't that. This line is just fucking dumb. But god did I get some mileage out of it.

Bryan! (01:09:00.793) they love it.

Bryan! (01:09:07.569) now. Yeah. And so, oh man, it's alarming that they were like, oh man, that's some fucking gold right there. It's like the crown jewel of the entire movie. So Maddie frantically cleans the stove, and then she makes another phone call. And then we see who she's been calling Brad, who is totally dead and posed in his office.

Dave! (01:09:31.254) And this is basically, she is going to spend the rest of the movie doing this. Screaming into the phone.

Bryan! (01:09:35.397) Yeah, she's gonna call him. She's gonna call him several more times, culminating in the crown jewel of the entire movie. So but for now, we cut over to Andrea, who is the remember, she's the new girl. The sexy one. She's babysitting in a nearby apartment.

Dave! (01:09:49.846) Yeah, she's a sexy one. She's like that Chrissy Snow of the piece.

Bryan! (01:09:58.245) Terry all cleaned up now he arrives and she immediately throws herself at him asking what his major is psychology of

Dave! (01:10:03.094) Mm-hmm. Yeah, well actually, first she offers him a nightcap. A delicious Bloody Mary. You know, a nightcap.

Bryan! (01:10:11.857) you drink at night? What you major is

Dave! (01:10:14.342) I can't think of anything more disgusting. Here, we're getting ready for bed. You want a white Russian? No, no I don't. And also I have to go.

Bryan! (01:10:23.207) Here, let me make you. Yeah, she, so psychology is his major. Hers is partying.

Dave! (01:10:32.106) Yeah, partying. This is another one of my notes that says, so 80s.

Bryan! (01:10:36.913) So Terry, however, wants none of what she's offering and instead turns on the TV. And this is this begins a really weird pattern of a sexual pathology in this movie that I find fascinating.

Dave! (01:10:48.15) Because it's very like, this is where this movie, the inconsistency of the whole thing really shows through. Like you get that scene at the beginning where it's like, oh, who's this hot chick? And it's like, well, okay, that's all in the eye of the bomber, but he's like super into her. And then now he's like totally cold to her. It's like, I get that we're trying to convey a psychopathy, but it's also like, I don't get it. You were...

ready to fuck her 45 minutes ago. Like, what's going on? And I mean, I guess we'll maybe figure it out at the end. I don't know.

Bryan! (01:11:20.282) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:11:25.937) Yeah. So, Todd arrives at his home, but he finds the back door locked. At the same time, Terry's girlfriend Karen arrives at the front door, but she receives no answer. So, she goes another another another ** Torgo scene. Yeah. So, she

Dave! (01:11:37.91) Listen, Todd, you don't just touch people, okay? You can't just touch people like that. Yeah. And like it's a real TORGO scene. We got your complimentary crazy bread.

Bryan! (01:11:54.869) So she goes out back, accidentally runs into Todd, who she mistakes for Terry, and she thinks he's high.

Dave! (01:12:01.034) She's such a dopey bitch. Like, I, my note says, bitch, he looks shell shocked and crazy, not high.

Bryan! (01:12:08.525) No, no. Right, cuz the also the way he like his pose, the way that he carries himself is entirely different.

Dave! (01:12:15.938) Like he may as well be completely soaking wet and shivering and holding himself. Like everything about him says, raped, not high. Like it's just, nothing about this is right. Yeah.

Bryan! (01:12:27.447) He's the victim at the end of the movie that they throw a blanket over in an ambulance.

Dave! (01:12:31.534) I mean, and you know, she's like real kind of like Chinatown Lori Loughlin. Like she's not the best actor in the movie.

Bryan! (01:12:39.902) she's one of my least favorite characters in the whole of the whole thing. Yeah, so.

Dave! (01:12:42.806) You're like, well, why didn't she die? Well.

Bryan! (01:12:47.949) She then tells him that she wants him to make love to her.

Dave! (01:12:52.426) And my note says these people are all offensively horny.

Bryan! (01:12:57.19) But the way that she says it, maybe I'll dig up the clip and just put it in there because you've got to hear it. It's not, there's no allure to it. There's no, there's no draw. She just...

Dave! (01:13:04.162) No, it's so matter of fact, but not even in like cheesy, like lady romantic fiction kind of way. It's more just like, I want you to do me. Flat.

Bryan! (01:13:15.149) Yeah. But not even like that. She's like, well, it's almost like an actor in a high school play. She's like, uh kind of hammering a high above that. She goes, well, I want you to make love to me just like that.

Dave! (01:13:25.89) Look, I wanna see that high school play. In Florida.

Bryan! (01:13:32.016) the play. But then he reveals himself to be Todd, not Terry, and she excuses herself in a hurry. And now on the run.

Dave! (01:13:40.944) Meanwhile, Louise Lazar's vacuuming and drinking a giant glass of wine.

Dave! (01:13:58.446) Wow.

Bryan! (01:14:00.046) the

Dave! (01:14:04.182) Yeah. Again, offensively horny. It's that thing of, like, men grabbing women again, where I'm just like, God, just keep your fucking hands to yourself!

Bryan! (01:14:06.595) Uh-huh.

Bryan! (01:14:11.897) Yeah, but like also her body language with them is also very fucking weird, particularly with the Arty character, where like she like embraces him in a way that's supposed to be friendly, but she kind of wraps her body around him.

Dave! (01:14:25.294) But they're all like that. This side note is ultimately written by a man and directed by a man. Not just any man, it's written by the man who wrote Zapped and the sequel to Zapped. Which if people don't know, Zapped is a sex comedy starring Scott Baio. It was terrible.

Bryan! (01:14:36.377) That's right, yes.

Bryan! (01:14:42.657) Yeah, we're uses is uses is telekinetic powers to rip women's clothes off.

Dave! (01:14:48.054) Yep, nothing offensive about that. So it has that vibe of like, this is how women act around men. It's like, well, no, not really. This is how men think women act around men. It's how they interpret things. But no, that's not what this is. But yeah, she's real like, well, Terry's not around, so I guess you'll do. Who are these people? But you don't get the feeling that when characters like this get presented to us in movies, it's usually like,

Bryan! (01:14:58.842) Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh!

Bryan! (01:15:08.562) Yeah.

Dave! (01:15:16.438) This is grist for the mill. You're not supposed to like them because they're gonna die. Because again, everybody misinterprets how we're supposed to feel about horror movie people. But in this case, it's like, no, I think you'll just think this is how people are. Like, well, this is how young women are. Like, no, it's not. It never was.

Bryan! (01:15:34.393) Yeah, yeah, I've got, I've got, there's another scene coming up where I'll get into sort of my feelings on the way that this movie sort of portrays sexuality because it's very particular and it's such a distinct characteristic of the movie that it makes watching it a little difficult for me.

Dave! (01:15:53.526) Well, you know what it is? It's that thing of when you have the sort of dominant culture making a thing and portraying people who aren't them in the movie. When the people who aren't them watch it, they're like, oh, you must misunderstand something. Like, if we do that, it's because we have to, not because we want you. So it's like, when these like 80s portrayals of women.

It's like, oh, they're real hyper sex. And it's like, no, you don't seem to understand. You could have asked one, but you didn't. And so it's like, you don't understand. This is just how people have to get by. And that's what the, I mean, that's essentially where postmodern studies comes from. It's like this idea of like, what if we looked at something in a way that was different from the way it was made? And that's how we end up with the way, how we look at things now. But at the time, it's so weird to watch, well, this is just how slutty girls are. It's like...

Bryan! (01:16:41.134) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:16:48.839) Yeah.

Dave! (01:16:49.286) no you don't seem to get it if anyone ever behaved in a way that even remotely resembled that it's because they needed to do it in the moment for a particular reason and it never fucking occurred to you that that's why they did it and that's how this whole movie feels it feels like violent zapped i mean i guess zapped is kind of violent zapped but

Bryan! (01:17:02.989) Yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (01:17:12.065) Yeah. So, so, yeah, we now we cut back to Terry and Andrea, who are watching Grisman's prior movie Scalpel. And it's a scene of violence and Terry is very entertained by this. She puts the moves on him and he rebuffs her but in walks the 80s incarnate in the form of a lady who owns the place.

Dave! (01:17:33.098) Yeah, she is a good time gal, if ever there was one.

Bryan! (01:17:36.454) hair is piled on top of her head. She's got this ridiculous black dress on and she's going to throw herself at a guy who is also not terribly interested in having sex with her.

Dave! (01:17:46.83) I was very confused by this moment though, because I said, who is this person? And Michael was like, what's the woman she was with at the beginning? And I was like, no, I don't think it is. I think this is a new character.

Bryan! (01:17:57.485) Yeah. Because this we've not seen her before. She's the woman. She is a floozy. She's going to marry her rich guy.

Dave! (01:18:00.226) She is what you call a floozy.

Dave! (01:18:05.77) Yep, she's out to trap a man, as it were. Boy, does she ever.

Bryan! (01:18:12.342) the two parties meet up. Yeah. up. Terry and Andrea and Karen are. Um yeah, they all get the rest of them to go look for there's a bit of there's the back and forth in character because the 80s lady comes in weird like sweaty nervous guy

Dave! (01:18:18.614) Doesn't matter.

Dave! (01:18:38.05) who's really judgmental. Like, I feel like they're trying, and a lot of points in this, they're trying, it feels like New Yorker's criticizing Southern people in certain ways. And this is one of those moments where he's really kind of, like he's moralizing the whole scene, and he's just like, well, you shouldn't be drinking alcohol. And it's like, sir, they're drinking Bloody Marys at 930 at night. They don't know how to drink anything.

Bryan! (01:18:48.258) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:19:02.485) Yeah, yeah.

Dave! (01:19:02.794) Like, it's that kind of thing where he's, you know, she's like, well, could you maybe pay the babies? Because that's why she's there. She's the babysitter. And he's like, well, I guess I'll do it. But he seems so like, well, you kids shouldn't be here. It's like, you are all somehow the same age. So I'm not sure what's happening anymore.

Bryan! (01:19:09.177) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:19:19.567) Yeah.

like, well, he's he says something like um cuz she left out like alcohol for her to drink and he's like, hey, I don't want you to get in trouble like you could. Yeah. Oh my god. I gotta like I got some thoughts on her little her little her little mini bar but anyways back at home, Maddie is still cleaning up a frenzy. Paul and I should not polish you off that bottle of wine. It walks Terry who informs her that Todd is here and then she tells him to get Brad who will know what to do and also

Dave! (01:19:28.458) Yeah, but like, shitty yokel.

Bryan! (01:19:50.617) Put a sweater on because it's cold outside.

Dave! (01:19:52.214) Yeah, and that was definitely a-

Bryan! (01:19:55.242) I love that fucking line, man.

Dave! (01:19:56.95) But also, again, with Brad, like Brad will know what to do. It's like, Brad, first of all, Brad is dead, but also, Brad at no point has proven himself to be like a leader in anything. Like, I guess, I just see, he just looks like his face is melting off. That's all I've got for Brad.

Bryan! (01:20:09.815) No, the first...

Bryan! (01:20:13.873) the first thing that ever anybody should have done is call the ** police and nobody does that. They're all just like, we'll handle this.

Dave! (01:20:18.154) Well that's the weird part, is there are points when people are like, well should we call the cops? And like, her fucking douchey bro-y friends are like, no, we'll deal with it. I'm like, how are you going to deal with this?

Bryan! (01:20:28.93) What are you going to do exactly?

Dave! (01:20:30.742) Like, everyone's real cavalier about the psychotic killer on the loose. In a way that is not befitting a horror.

Bryan! (01:20:35.385) Yeah. Yep.

Bryan! (01:20:41.33) So, so, meanwhile, Todd finds the body of the doctor out in the woods. He tries to put her back together and then he encounters a little girl out looking for her cat. A tell

Dave! (01:20:52.593) I don't like kids and I don't like kids in movies and I definitely don't like them in horror movies.

Bryan! (01:20:57.404) He tells her to go home and lock the door and not let anyone in no matter what. So remember that for later.

So Andrea teaches Karen how to drink tequila, which is that whole lemon and salt thing, which I never understood.

Dave! (01:21:08.9) Mm-hmm. So my note says everyone in this movie is awkward and gross. My second note after that, that again, so this is so 80s, but also, did people ever do this?

Bryan! (01:21:21.521) do the tequila thing. I used to see people do it all the time at like parties and like they would bring tequila and they would and they would act they would act like teenager parties and so like everybody would do this and the way that the way that it was always sort of explained to me because I never did it. I it was like why would I wanna eat salt and on a lemon? The way that it was always explained to me was tequila is like really intense and it's sort of like makes it palatable but like I used to **

Dave! (01:21:23.103) Yeah.

Dave! (01:21:27.41) Yeah, okay, but wait, what kind of parties? Okay

Bryan! (01:21:50.501) drink tequila just ran out the fucking bottle because I was an alcoholic. And I, it, it's not, it's just fucking tequila.

Dave! (01:21:57.202) I mean, I can explain to you the way that all these adjunct things affect the thing that you're drinking. It'd be a really boring story. I'm not gonna do it. But it just seems like a real 80s thing to be like, yeah, then you gotta do this and it's real sexy. It's like there's nothing sexy about what you're doing. You're licking your hand. You're licking your own hand. And you're from Florida.

Bryan! (01:22:12.037) That's gotta be it. Yeah.

Bryan! (01:22:19.251) Yeah.

Dave! (01:22:19.59) I don't know, the thing struck me is like, this feels like a real 80s moment. And I'm just like, I don't think I've ever seen anyone do this.

Bryan! (01:22:23.929) Yeah. It must, you know what? It must have been like a frat, like a fraternity thing, like a frat party kind of thing that just sort of like bled out into the broader culture because I can't I've never seen it in a movie before the 1980s. So it must have been something like that. Or it must have come from a fucking magazine like Playboy or something stupid like that. Yeah. Yeah, but anyways, back at 80s, ladies apartment, she's trying to seduce the nervous suitor she was with earlier. And she remarks,

Dave! (01:22:44.942) Yeah, it seems.

Bryan! (01:22:54.033) as he remarks at her extremely 80s mini bar on the table. And let me paint a little picture for you. So it's all these like little bottles of like creme de menthe and like banana liqueur. It's like there's not a serious bottle of alcohol on the table. It's all.

Dave! (01:23:08.054) Yeah, if this were now, it would be nothing but a fireball. Which I will quote you as saying one time to me, decades ago, fireball is what sorority girls drink because it makes them feel sexy.

Bryan! (01:23:12.949) Fireball, fireball.

Dave! (01:23:25.302) That is what I think every single time. Because I see little shots of this scattered around the sidewalk or whatever when I'm out walking around. And every time I see it, I'm like, who is drinking this? Because this shit is vile.

Bryan! (01:23:40.961) It's so gross, it's disgusting. But you know what, it would also, it'd be like White Claw would also be all over that table too. Yeah. This movie.

Dave! (01:23:48.366) Oh. Hey, everybody, don't drink White Claw. Don't drink alcohol excelsior. It's disgusting. If you're going out and you don't want to consume calories, just don't drink beer. Have a soda and shut up.

Bryan! (01:23:55.089) That's so gross.

Bryan! (01:24:03.582) This whole movie. Yeah, this whole movie is a fucking time capsule. Then. It's the White Claw of Horror. Yep. So then she excuses herself to go get into something a little more comfortable.

Dave! (01:24:08.618) This whole movie is a white claw.

Dave! (01:24:13.133) Really?

Dave! (01:24:18.642) And good God when she comes back. This is a Boudoir outfit if ever there was one.

Bryan! (01:24:21.67) My God.

Bryan! (01:24:27.093) Yeah, costuming provided by Fredericks of Hollywood. Yeah, so while she's gone, Terry comes back to the condo and we're introduced to Chekhov's baby while she's getting ready. And so she then comes bombing out of her bedroom in this ridiculous outfit. It's like this red and black lacy lingerie set. And she kind of like

Dave! (01:24:29.438) It really, it is... it is a fucking getup.

Dave! (01:24:47.958) Now this feels like it's straight out of Playboy. Matt, this feels like it's straight out of Hostler.

Bryan! (01:24:50.933) Yeah, she she's got a little she's got a little robe that goes with it. She throws herself against the door jam and just and then she realizes that she's by herself. She's like trying to be all sexy for this guy who by all accounts is not into her or anybody. Yeah. So when she finds the nervous guy gone. So she looks around a little bit.

Dave! (01:25:06.854) or anyone and probably never will be.

Bryan! (01:25:18.393) and then she goes to her door and she looks out through the little keyhole thing and she sees him. But when she opens the door, she finds that she saw his severed head just hanging there.

Dave! (01:25:29.742) And this is what we'll call one of the less successful effects.

Bryan! (01:25:33.357) It's a it's a very goofy looking effect. Extremely rubberhead. Oh yeah, so then she backs up in horror. She finds that Terry is in her house.

Dave! (01:25:35.242) It is a very rubber hit.

Dave! (01:25:44.47) Now this is, I think, the only point in this movie where it actually feels like a real horror movie because there's something about his, his kind of acting in this scene that is a little bit chilly.

Bryan! (01:25:59.45) Right, because he what he what is he says?

Dave! (01:26:01.59) But he comes up behind her. This is after she knows that he's there. But he kind of comes up behind her, and he puts a coat around her.

Bryan! (01:26:07.449) Oh, that's right. She's trying to put her coat on in order to run out the door. And he helps her put the coat on.

Dave! (01:26:13.01) And he does it in this really kind of gentle way that's very like, it's a little bit unnerving. And then they just cut away. And it's like, oh, I don't, okay. But I thought that scene, I'm just like, this feels like a different movie because this really works.

Bryan! (01:26:21.137) I do. I like it. It works.

Bryan! (01:26:27.225) Yeah. So Todd, meanwhile, he breaks into his mom's house and he finds Terry's room. And he's looking at the life that he never had. And then his mom, on the other hand, is wasted. She passes out in the hall. slumps right down. Todd takes her tour.

Dave! (01:26:38.102) Yep, like a sack of potatoes just right to the floor. It's like someone dropped a china doll on the floor.

Bryan! (01:26:48.298) Yeah. So, Todd takes her to her room and she wakes up thinking it's Terry and he plays along. Yeah. Yeah, you don't gotta do that. Don't do that. Back at Andrea's place. She

Dave! (01:26:54.83) No, don't like this part.

Dave! (01:26:59.742) Oh, you're not going to finish what happens in that scene?

Bryan! (01:27:02.541) Well, you like, you know, Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't I didn't want to. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. So fucking gross. It's very it's very gross. You don't kiss your mom like that.

Dave! (01:27:04.322) when she says, come give mama a kiss and then kisses him full on the mouth passionately? Oh, you forgot about that moment.

Dave! (01:27:20.782) Look, Fate picked this one for us, but you picked all the other weird incest ones.

Bryan! (01:27:29.233) you. Oh Jesus Christ. That's Butcher Baker's on you. Yeah.

Dave! (01:27:32.266) Yeah, I guess so. And that one's, that's the hardest one. I'm your girlfriend now. Holy shit.

Bryan! (01:27:41.537) Yeah. So now, back in Andrea's place, she finally found a guy to make out with.

Dave! (01:27:47.554) Yeah, meanwhile, everyone's being real cavalier and hilarious about the killer on the loose.

Bryan! (01:27:52.225) Yep. And they and Karen plays Atari with Artie, who's the guy with the good hair. And then there's a scream from her bedroom.

Dave! (01:28:00.546) Sorry, did you just say good hair?

Bryan! (01:28:02.993) he's the one with the good hair. He's got the whole blow dried thing going on. His brother, his buddy, his, his not, he's not, he's not as into it.

Dave! (01:28:12.127) I'm just gonna say, objectively speaking, that is not.

Bryan! (01:28:17.053) hair. He's got good hair. That's maybe that's maybe that's what I'm that's what I mean is it's just it's he cares for it. You can tell that there's product involved. Anyway, scream from her bedroom. The two the two kids go to see what the deal is finding Andrea dead on the on the bed but it's just a joke. It's

Dave! (01:28:17.426) It is full and lush, sure, but it's not good.

Dave! (01:28:34.134) These are very different makeup applications that they have. The implication is that the two of them snuck into the bedroom, did a real quick horror or Halloween costume makeup. She looks like a dead person who has been smacked in the face with a baseball bat a bunch of times. He has a little cut on his cheek. It's like, you look like someone who spent four hours in the makeup chair.

Bryan! (01:28:57.147) Yeah, yep.

Bryan! (01:29:01.921) they only had so much time for makeup and they spent it all on her. Oh, yep. So, with everybody mad at them, Andrea and Greg go off to play a little tennis by night. Yep, but not before we get a little... Put your dick in the sink. Yep, but also not before we get a little cheap skin with a shower scene.

Dave! (01:29:14.35) It's a little night tennis, you know, like it's the 80s. You're doing cocaine, playing night tennis, running around wearing short dresses.

Bryan! (01:29:32.215) So.

Dave! (01:29:32.292) Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's showering in a way that suggests her bathroom opens out onto everything else in the apartment, and she just opens all of the doors, including the front door.

Bryan! (01:29:45.317) Yeah. So back at home, Maddie gets on the phone and this is the windup. She starts yelling at the operator because she can't reach her boyfriend because this is a real emergency.

Dave! (01:29:49.799) Oh, here we go. Here she goes, everybody.

Dave! (01:29:59.178) Allow me. Operator, it's an emergency. This is a real emergency. He's waiting for my call.

I was in the red the whole time.

Bryan! (01:30:13.837) pretty good. That was pretty good.

Dave! (01:30:16.546) Because she has this inexplicable husky voice for some reason that she's just real.

Bryan! (01:30:22.377) It's the voice of a woman who smokes a lot.

Yeah.

Dave! (01:30:28.238) But that's- this is Louis' last chance to roll for the rest of the movie. OPERATOR! HE'S WAITING FOR MY CALL!

Bryan! (01:30:40.653) now. Greg and Andrea, play a little.

Dave! (01:30:42.338) I love that the other person in my apartment doesn't even look when I do shit like that anymore.

Bryan! (01:30:48.805) like, oh shit, he's doing a podcast again.

Dave! (01:30:50.162) I could just be recording, just be in the kitchen.

Bryan! (01:30:55.039) practice in your louise lasser. Yeah, Greg and Andrea play a drunk tennis at night while being stalked by Terry and then they go. They decide to go and have sex on the diving board.

Dave! (01:31:04.738) That was another moment. That was another one of my moments. It's just that this is so 80s. Because drunk night tennis feels like the most 80s thing you could do.

Bryan! (01:31:08.55) Oh my god, yeah, like, they-

Bryan! (01:31:13.377) It's a very, that's very much like white people in the 80s. Like.

Dave! (01:31:16.394) Yeah, like you got there in your DeLorean, you got out, you went to play some drunk night tennis.

Bryan! (01:31:22.253) Yep, you can't you can't afford a Ferrari but you got some tennis rackets. There's a tennis court at your condo complex. You know, you're living the you're living the high life.

Dave! (01:31:30.326) Now this movie is extremely white.

Bryan! (01:31:33.281) very yeah couldn't possibly be any more white so meanwhile Maddie pouring her heart out to the operator about her son escaping from the mental hospital this is this is real actor monologue material i really hope that there are people out there like auditioning with this

Dave! (01:31:50.114) But you get the impression that, like, she might have actually called, like, the operator or something, because at one point it's just like, what number do you want?

Bryan! (01:31:59.849) Yeah, yeah. But then there's also parts where I was like, I wonder if she's actually talking to anybody, like in the context of the movie.

Dave! (01:32:05.782) You can hear at some point, you can hear somebody say something else, but it might not be much

Bryan! (01:32:11.193) Yeah, because at one point she's like she's like, what? What? But like what you have no idea what she's what she's reacting to. It's just a woman going crazier by the moment.

Dave! (01:32:20.662) Because she is wildly unhinged at this point. Because this is what happens when you have Louise Lassner just playing a role by herself for the entire...

Bryan! (01:32:23.937) Yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (01:32:32.641) Yeah, yeah. So meanwhile.

Dave! (01:32:35.498) It's like Will Smith in that shitty remake of Last Man on Earth. What the fuck is that called? Oh, I Am Legend. It's that. It's just like, you're gonna get crazy. This is just you.

Bryan! (01:32:41.627) I am legend.

Bryan! (01:32:48.148) Yeah. It's just you. It's a one man show. It's all on you.

Dave! (01:32:50.562) And Louis Lasset really was the Will Smith of the 80s. This is I've only said.

Bryan! (01:32:56.363) So meanwhile, Andrea and Greg engage in what is one of the most awkward sex scenes I have ever seen.

Dave! (01:33:00.974) Mm-hmm. Because it's very much like the one from the beginning where it's just like fully nude, but they're just kind of laying on top of each other in this weird way of like, if a kid had two Barbie dolls, we're just kind of smashing them. Smashing them together. And it kind of has that vibe to it. It's like, this is not how anybody has sex, even boring straight white people.

Bryan! (01:33:16.009) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:33:22.171) So here's the thing. This is up there for me. This scene is up there with the hot tub scene from Madman in just in just terms of awkwardness.

Dave! (01:33:28.416) Bye.

I can't, I find that very hard to believe because that scene in Madman is fucking hilarious.

Bryan! (01:33:38.612) Yeah, but like, but my note says it's like it's like the people who made this movie are virgins. Because the way that these two are interacting. They're just like

Dave! (01:33:44.362) Yeah. I mean, it would make a lot of sense. If they're going around grabbing women like that.

Bryan! (01:33:51.457) It's like it's like you said, they're just laying on top of each other and he is just like gingerly kissing her on the lips. Thankfully, Terry comes in and slashes them up to save us from the further cringe. So now out in the woods, Artie and Karen walk along the boardwalk. Now these two have way better chemistry than anybody else in the movie.

Dave! (01:34:01.75) Waste no time.

Dave! (01:34:15.85) They actually do. Like you feel like these are people who know each other. Whereas everyone else, it just feels like you just met each other on the set of a community play.

Bryan! (01:34:20.155) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:34:27.486) Yeah, so they're having a heart to heart about why Terry is so distant. And then Terry scares them. By like, because they're on this like, it's like a boardwalk. It's like, you know, it's like the boardwalk in what's the fucking movie Silver Bullet.

Dave! (01:34:42.166) Yes, it looks like the exact same boardwalk.

Bryan! (01:34:44.909) Yeah. And but so like, it's basically like we get this shot. Yeah. And then Terry like reaches up and grabs her by the ankles. And then and then, you know, he jumps up and there's a little bit of screaming and some what the fuck, dude. And then Artie goes to find Greg and Andrea, leaving Karen and Terry to make out on the couch. But before he gets far, Artie is accosted by Todd in his car.

Dave! (01:34:47.926) You know, just out for a stroll in the swamp.

Bryan! (01:35:13.113) and he convinces him to take him to Terry.

Dave! (01:35:15.662) How long is your soaking?

Bryan! (01:35:17.641) soaking wet and angry and he came across a

Dave! (01:35:19.49) For reasons that don't make any sense, why does he look so damn?

Bryan! (01:35:24.189) because he's like sweaty and nervous. Yeah, it's kind of like um Steve rails back in any in any role. He's always like sweaty and nervous in every single shot. It's just the flop sweat just comes with the being you know anxious all the time. cocaine will do that too.

Dave! (01:35:27.074) Okay, that's...

Dave! (01:35:42.402) Well, that could co-

Bryan! (01:35:47.993) But yeah, he wants him to take him to Terry, which he probably could have done on his own since he was in his own house earlier.

Dave! (01:35:53.59) So this is the moment though, this was another moment where I'm like, oh, they just didn't know how to advance the plot because they do. He does take him to Terry, they open the door and then he runs away.

Bryan! (01:35:59.682) Yeah, because he's also got a

Bryan! (01:36:06.701) Yeah, and he gets a gun somewhere. I remember there's a scene of him taking the...

Dave! (01:36:09.25) The gun comes, this is the third gun. So there's one gun that comes from, the toy gun from Brad's office. There's the tranquilizer gun, and there's the third gun from the doctor's purse. And that's the one he has. And it looks like the same gun. They're all the same gun.

Bryan! (01:36:22.137) That's right. Yeah. No, it's KZ. Yeah. It's all the same gun. Yeah, it's the same prop. He makes like he's going to shoot Terry with Chekov's gun, but he runs away instead.

Dave! (01:36:33.054) And this is the moment where it's just like, oh, you just didn't know how to move forward. You had to find a way to get the two to confront one another, but you couldn't figure out how to do it. So you, there's like weird contrivance to make it happen.

Bryan! (01:36:46.201) death. So now Greg and Terry give chase but once they're out in the woods out on the boardwalk again, they find Terry's weapons and among them a carving fork. They also find the machete which is all gory and shit to which Terry remarks again, that's not cranberry sauce. And then he then he kills Artie with the fork by stabbing him in the throat and it is and then he remarks again, that's not cranberry sauce.

Dave! (01:37:01.038) That's not cranberry sauce already. That's not cranberry sauce.

Dave! (01:37:07.934) And that scene is fucking brutal.

Dave! (01:37:15.59) I find scenes like this a little bit upsetting when they do something that reminds you that a person is being killed. And it's usually like a physiological or biological thing that happens where it's like, oh, this is an actual body that's being destroyed. And in this moment, he stabs him with a fork and his feet, like they cut to his feet and they do this weird, like his feet turn in this really awkward way.

that look like he's about to give out under him. And it's like, for that brief moment, you're like, oh, god. Because it doesn't feel goofy or silly. It actually feels like a person is being killed in front of you. And that's another one of those moments in this movie where you're like, oh, right, this is a horror movie. And every now and then, it's very effective.

Bryan! (01:37:43.158) Oh yeah.

Bryan! (01:38:02.029) Yeah. So, um, now Karen finds Terry all covered in blood. He tries to pass it off like Todd did it, but then he attacks. She's, I know, they're all the fucking same. She's the original girlfriend. The fin- are ostensibly, yes, ostensibly the final girl. And then, uh, he attacks her while he's telling her that he loves her, and then she hides in a closet outside the patio.

Dave! (01:38:10.562) Which one's Karen? God, I fucking hate these people.

Dave! (01:38:16.727) Okay. Oh, Lori- Lori Lough.

Bryan! (01:38:29.613) and Terry almost barges in on her until he seems to get a better idea. Also, she's all up in there with Jackie, the orderly's body, and when the corpse inevitably scares her, she jumps out to find Terry sitting there with Greg's dead body, manipulating his arms and laughing like a crazy person.

Dave! (01:38:45.074) and the goofiest best moment of the movie. Because he's just got his hands, and he's slapping them together to clap.

Bryan! (01:38:53.857) Oh yeah, he at one point he takes one of like one of Artie's arms and like grabs her butt with his hand.

Dave! (01:38:59.654) But this is another one of those again where like his performance, you know, a lot of the time he feels like he's like, he doesn't even want to be there. But then when he does lean in, you're kind of like, you get it? Because there's, do you remember that movie Behind the Mask? It's a little bit like that where he's this kind of real goofy character for most of the movie. Even when he's killing people, it's like, that's not cranberry sauce. But every now and then there's a moment where that

Bryan! (01:39:14.87) Oh yeah, I love that one.

Dave! (01:39:26.294) that kind of humor turns to menace. And this is one of those moments.

Bryan! (01:39:29.249) Oh, sure. The entire third act of that movie is they twist it to remind you, this guy's a murderer. Remember?

Dave! (01:39:39.03) Right, and they do that here every now and then. The part where he creeps up on a lady and puts the coat on her, and you're like, oh, that's a little chilling. This is another one of those moments where it's like his demeanor turns like after he's clapping his hands together and being really goofy, and he's just like, that's not very nice. And he kind of gets up and you're like, oh, he's gonna go killer now.

Bryan! (01:40:03.201) Yeah. So.

Dave! (01:40:04.922) It works. It's just, it's just everything, like the whole fucking movie, everything about this movie is so inconsistent that like, you never really know what's gonna hit and what's not. And most of it doesn't.

Bryan! (01:40:11.92) Yeah

Bryan! (01:40:15.189) Yeah. So, Karen now goes running around knocking on doors. The only person she finds home on Thanksgiving night is it's the little girl who was told by Todd not to let anyone in and she follows her advice.

Dave! (01:40:23.19) Yeah, this is why I hate kids, everybody.

Dave! (01:40:29.334) Yep, yeah, she's not gonna save this lady and she's a bad actor. Also, the tone of her voice and the pitch bother.

Bryan! (01:40:33.218) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:40:36.525) It's like nails in the ears. At the, so at the next place she finds Chekov's baby all by itself, because Terry is also there pulling the machete out of 80s lady's body. And then there's more running and screaming. She tries to go out the back, but Todd is there and he scares her. So she grabs the baby and runs. So now, back at home, Maddie, finally off the phone, finds Terry's bloody shirt.

Dave! (01:40:38.05) Yup.

Dave! (01:41:03.05) Well, because she places a call that is the wrong number. But then she's like, oh, thank god. Oh, thank god it's you. And then she's like, what? No. Who is this?

Bryan! (01:41:07.267) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:41:11.33) I'm sorry.

Bryan! (01:41:14.865) All right, because there's a couple more of these like Maddie on... Yeah, because there's a bunch of like Maddie on the phone scenes. And there's one that I completely skipped over where she like the... I think the operator like hangs up on her and she's like, you can't leave me like this. You can't leave me all alone.

Dave! (01:41:18.538) It's getting real patty in Selma the further I go.

Dave! (01:41:33.266) Yeah, it's funny, the thing about her, and I think it's maybe what it's after she finds the shirt. It's like right now, it's after she finds the shirt in the trash, is that it's that moment that you're just doing that she starts to play it really straight, and you're like, oh, Louis Lassner, first of all, he's a good actor, but also it's too serious for the movie where you're like, she's playing it so like...

Like you feel bad that she's alone and scared. All of a sudden, again, it's that inconsistency where it hits and you're like, oh, I don't like this older woman being terrified. I don't want that.

Bryan! (01:42:06.81) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:42:12.537) Yeah, you know what?

Yeah, you know what it is? It's it's she's isolated from the rest of the cast in these scenes. And so she has there's no direction and she has no context to sort of play off of. So she's just interpreting the material as best she could based on what she saw on the page.

Dave! (01:42:30.538) And she says as much in the interviews that I watched. She's basically just like, I just did what I thought would work in the moment. And for most of it, it's like real campy and goofy and over the top, except for this part where you're like, this feels like she's playing it so straight that it's like, oh, I don't like that.

Bryan! (01:42:50.797) Yeah. So now she runs to Brad's office and she barges in completely failing to notice the blood and gore on literally every surface.

Dave! (01:43:00.226) So this was the moment she says, I had no idea. This is why I think that the directing on this was really poor. She was like, I had no idea what I was supposed to do because I've never been in a horror movie. I don't watch horror movies. And so I don't really know coming upon someone because his head is cut in half, basically. And she was like, I don't know how I'm supposed to react to that. And so she kind of does the best she can, but it's really like, she has almost no reaction to it.

Bryan! (01:43:17.721) Yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (01:43:27.353) Yeah, but before she does that, she's outside and it's basically it's this big like sliding glass door behind Brad and she's pounding on it with both hands and she's shouting but we can't hear her. So it's kind of like the scene with Rick Moranis in the Tavern on the Green in Ghostbusters. So she eventually she bursts in and then she sort of slowly goes up to Brad who's like kind of like positioned in a way that he's like

Dave! (01:43:43.145) Hahahaha

Bryan! (01:43:54.513) cradling his head in his hands, but he's dead and one of his hands is gone. And then she sort of nudges him and he falls over and his head splits in half. And I love it. It's so gross. Because you get a really good look at just like this cross section of the dude's head.

Dave! (01:44:09.058) But then you get that moment of, it's like the scene in Sleepaway Camp when Nell finds one of the bodies, she's like, I'm gonna get him Meg, I'm gonna get him. She has that kind of moment where she's like, I'm gonna make it right, I'll make it right, don't worry. It's like, what is happening at this point? It's just like the whole movie has just fallen apart completely.

Bryan! (01:44:20.269) Yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (01:44:25.301) Oh, that's right. Cause yeah.

Bryan! (01:44:31.297) Right, because now Chekhov's gun is in her hands. And so now we cut over to the pool, where Karen finds a moment of solace with the baby, but Terry catches up with her. And she hides in a locker room, hiding the baby in a

Dave! (01:44:43.682) I'm just gonna say, this condo complex is cheesy as hell.

Bryan! (01:44:48.161) it's got the 80s written all over it. It's got a it's got tennis courts. It's got indoor pool. Yeah, it's got the head that must have had like terracotta roofing also. Must have been. Yeah. So, she

Dave! (01:44:53.078) fucking stuck on walls as far as the eye can see.

Dave! (01:45:01.042) Of course. And just mold upon mold upon asbestos. Yeah.

Bryan! (01:45:07.221) just black mold on everything because it's everything is carpeted. Yeah, so she stuffs the baby in a cupboard. And then she finds the body the dead bodies of Andrea and Greg in the sauna. And she kind of hides herself away and in one of the toilets. And then it seems to work because Terry comes in does little performative crazy guy stuff to the dead bodies. And then he Yeah.

Dave! (01:45:11.424) Ugh.

Dave! (01:45:28.938) He does, he's like, uh, you guys, it's a real goofy Gus kind of moment.

Bryan! (01:45:34.09) Yep, and he seems to walk off after taking a leak, of course. Maddie, she's got the gun. And so we're back at the pool. It turns out that Terry was just waiting her out and he attacks Karen as she runs out of hiding. He missed.

Dave! (01:45:38.359) Bye for now.

Dave! (01:45:49.07) Well, she's sitting there by the pool, and maybe this happens before she runs into the bathroom. And he walks up and starts bouncing on the diving board. And she has a moment. It's very much like Chilly in Friday the 13th, part three, where she's like, oh, god. It's this real Jesus Christ kind of moment. It's really great.

Bryan! (01:45:57.754) On the diving board, yeah.

Bryan! (01:46:06.247) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:46:09.498) Yeah. So, he misses and what she does is she sort of runs out. She finds Todd out by the pool who's actually an actor wearing a wig that looks nothing like Todd's hair.

Dave! (01:46:20.414) No, is it a wig? Holy shit! The cheapest one they could find. From here on out, this movie is bonkers.

Bryan! (01:46:22.901) Absolutely. This is so

Yeah. So, so, it's Todd and he's again, he's got the gun, he fails to shoot Terry. And this time, Karen takes the gun, but she finds out that it's not loaded because the gun just clicks when she tries to shoot him. And so also, what this does is it cuts back and forth with a lot of like over the shoulder shots of like from behind of like whatever actor

is doing the talking. So, like, if it's if it's Terry, we're over the shoulder of Todd, who's some dude wearing a wig. If it's if it's Todd doing the talking, it's some actor wearing a wig to look like Terry. But for whatever reason, the Terry actor looks way more like Terry than the other one. Like, I don't know what the deal is. They got a really good wig on him. And the other one looks like they went to Spirit Halloween. Yeah. So now, Terry and Todd fight in the pool.

Dave! (01:47:17.095) Yeah, it is a big fright wake.

Bryan! (01:47:24.209) Terry ends up winning a power appearing to drown Todd, who can't swim, which makes perfect sense. And then Matt but Maddie is here now with Chekov's gun. And she shoots Terry several times killing him while Karen pulls Todd out of the pool.

Dave! (01:47:39.63) And this is another moment where the comedy that they've relied on, and the black comedy, I guess, they've relied on throughout the movie, really undermines this moment, because this particular moment could have some gravity, because she shoots him a couple times, and each time he has this really stunned look on his face, especially when she shoots him in the eye, but it's like they've been so dumb and goofy the whole time that it doesn't feel like anything,

Bryan! (01:48:03.407) Yeah.

Dave! (01:48:09.334) You've acted like assholes, though.

Bryan! (01:48:11.553) Yeah, like this should have been a real, it should have had impact because the

Dave! (01:48:15.702) Because this- the end of this movie is really fucking bleak.

Bryan! (01:48:19.221) And it's yeah, it's very abrupt because also the relationship that she has with Terry has been written in such a way as to be like very unhealthy like she's the he's the only man in her life and she had to she had to shoot him and like it really should have been more because what happened next.

Dave! (01:48:31.614) Yeah, it's very codependent.

Dave! (01:48:36.662) But that's because she doesn't know that it's Terry that she shot.

Bryan! (01:48:39.805) Yeah. Oh, yeah. So she Oh, good God, I've never come to that conclusion. I thought that she was just delusional.

Dave! (01:48:46.41) Well that's the whole fucking revelation- would you shut it off with the last three minutes to go?

Bryan! (01:48:49.977) No, because she she's because she starts talking to him. But the thing is, is he doesn't look like Terry, he doesn't compose himself like Terry, he doesn't carry himself like Terry. And so yeah.

Dave! (01:48:55.926) That's why it doesn't work.

Dave! (01:49:00.566) No, he's a rape victim. Clearly, you should be able to tell the difference there. I think that they really go out of their way to differentiate these two, which is why this ending doesn't really work, but it's still so fucking dark and weird.

Bryan! (01:49:15.501) Yeah, because what she does is she comforts him. But she's assuming that it's Terry that she's talking to, and she's like, don't worry, I killed him. I've taken care of it. We're going to be together forever. It's all going to be okay. And then he starts shouting. I'm Todd. I'm Todd over and over again. And then she starts doing it as well. And then, you know, this part really, really kind of gets under my skin a little bit because it's like it's pure crazy at this point.

Dave! (01:49:45.354) And it's also weirdly intimate, like the way that they're touching each other until he stands up and walks away and then starts banging his head against the wall, but they're caressing each other, it's very strange.

Bryan! (01:49:57.485) Yeah, and then as she's doing that, she slowly raises the gun to her head and she shoots herself. Yeah, then Karen takes off with the baby in her arms while Todd looks on in horror. Fade to black. Roll credits.

Dave! (01:50:03.171) And... and... FINE.

Dave! (01:50:13.138) And that is why it just feels like a movie made by a lot of different people who had a lot of different ideas about what was supposed to happen.

Bryan! (01:50:22.189) Yeah, yeah, it's, that's, that's obviously what I think that John Grismer very obviously had a had a way different version of this movie in mind as he was making it. The Marion Cantor probably had a way different version of the movie in mind when she made it, because they're both working from the same script but both of them definitely seem to interpret it in wildly different directions. Yeah.

Dave! (01:50:42.966) Yeah, they very much had odds with each other on what it's supposed to be. Now, this is a hard one because much like elves, it's one that we did not stumble upon until relatively recently. I'm still going to ask, how does, where, how, who now does this play out now?

Bryan! (01:50:59.821) So, let's, if I were to, to sort of put myself in the mindset, like if I had seen this in 1987, I don't know if I would have liked this one, because I probably would have been, you know, I was, I was 12 or 13 at the time. And so I think my expectations.

of a horror movie, of a slasher movie in particular, we're informed definitely by the trends of the time and like, yeah, yeah. And so I feel like it would have just been cheap. It's kind of boring in a lot like it there are moments where it fucking drags and it really does sag in the middle pretty hard. I don't think that this movie would have really kept my attention. Certainly because I definitely in the time did not have an appreciation for camp.

Dave! (01:51:29.846) It's also derivative in all the worst ways.

Bryan! (01:51:52.889) that I do now. And so now, way different movie. I don't know if I really, I've seen a lot of people recently being really in love with it. I think it's just okay. I mostly watch it because I love Luis Lassner's performance in it. It's super fucking crazy in all the best ways. But the rest of the movie is just all right.

Dave! (01:52:15.19) Yeah, that, I mean, that's, you know, as I, I am, I guess, still relatively new to social media. And I see all these people that are like, ah, it's time to watch this classic. And I'm like, I guess so. But honestly, this movie's not that good. Like, it was forgotten about for a reason. It was shelved for a reason. Louise Lassner's performance is so fucking bizarre. That's really the only reason to watch it. Because the rest of it, like, you know, with some, uh...

The character of Terror, wasn't it Mark Soper? Kind of pleasant. I think there's some interesting moments there, but like the direction is, I guess, competent at best. It's just not a very good movie, but also weirdly though, is that it doesn't contain the more objectionable shit that is really common to slashers, especially of that era, but even like in the late eighties, like the...

Bryan! (01:52:45.945) Mark Soper.

Dave! (01:53:11.682) The kind of homophobia and the racism is not really there. There's also no diversity in this movie whatsoever.

Bryan! (01:53:18.533) That's the thing is, I'm sure that if there were a much more diverse cast, they would have found opportunities to be racist because that's just how it was at the time.

Dave! (01:53:26.962) Yeah, like it just...

And it's a pretty tasteless movie, but like, it's just... I mean, it's fine. It's just, it's not a good movie. It just isn't. Like, it's fun to watch once in a while. If people, like, if you want to show it to someone who hasn't seen it, that's kind of fun. But just generally, it's a bit of a snore.

Bryan! (01:53:47.917) Yeah. Yep. So.

Dave! (01:53:51.294) I'll tell you what's not a store. The next movie we're gonna watch... Well, I'm gonna be back in two weeks with a profoundly tasteless film. The holiday classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. Does a guy in a Santa suit rape a lady? Sure does. Is that a horrible film? Absolutely.

Bryan! (01:53:56.23) What are we doing next?

Bryan! (01:54:02.452) Ha ha

Bryan! (01:54:06.941) Ah, yes.

Bryan! (01:54:10.773) Yeah. Oh my god. Yes. With a with a quite a legacy. Yeah. So, alright, I'm looking forward to it. We're gonna kick off the holiday season, right? And you better believe that that's not gonna be the last of the of the Christmas horror movies we're doing. Oh no, we got a big one. One that we've been waiting for. Yep. So, alright. Be back here in two weeks when we bring you Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Dave! (01:54:25.366) No, no. We're coming up on my favorite movie of all time.