Bryan! (00:03.022) You're listening to Bring Me the Axe. I'm Brian White. I'm one half of this morbid equation. I'm joined by my cohost and actual brother, Dave White. Hey Dave, how you doing over there?

Dave! (00:11.022) Thank you for asking. I am doing reasonably well. I just realized it's George Romero's birthday. And you and I were just talking about George Romero. And it got me to thinking, what is your least favorite George Romero movie?

Bryan! (00:17.686) It is, we're recording on George Romero's birthday.

Bryan! (00:26.79) Uhhhhhh

Dave! (00:29.694) And is it most definitely the dark half?

Bryan! (00:32.818) No, no, I would probably place I really hate ragging on these ones because they kind of fall so late in his career. And I don't know, I feel like he was really out of gas at the time. But survival of the dead, maybe or it was a diary of the dead was the one with the camera. One of those? Yeah, one of those. But like, sorry, George, I love you. But

Aileen (00:46.377) Mm.

Dave! (00:51.627) So

Now way to dunk on an old man at the end of his career, you jerk.

Dave! (01:01.078) Don't apologize to him, he's dead, he doesn't need it.

Bryan! (01:03.918) I don't want to be I don't want to be haunted by his ghost. No, the no, but if I if I had to pick one, it's not one of those maybe bruiser.

Dave! (01:05.098) You apologize to the goddamn internet for what you've done.

Dave! (01:13.439) Okay, yep. Night Rider.

Bryan! (01:14.662) Yeah. I have not seen that one since the 90s, so I don't really know where I land on that one. Yeah. What would be your favorite? That's not a zombie movie.

Dave! (01:21.371) It's probably better that way.

Dave! (01:32.165) Mmmm

Bryan! (01:36.442) That's a good answer. I mean, technically kind of a zombie, but it's not one of the zombie movies. So that's that.

Dave! (01:38.047) That's kind of a zombie movie.

It was either that or Creepshow, but Creepshow has got some real fucking clunkers in it.

Bryan! (01:47.115) I think it's got it's got it's a hit and a miss is that one for sure. Mine easily and it's actually it's my favorite Romero movie overall is Martin. Yeah, I love Martin.

Dave! (01:49.858) Mmm.

Dave! (01:57.312) Now get it.

Bryan! (02:00.234) So hey, we practically grew up in neighborhood video stores. The steady diet of utter garbage that those shops provided us with continues unabated to this day. There's no one else I enjoy chopping it up with more about trashy movies and Dave. Just before we get into it, here's a little housekeeping. If you want to keep up with us between episodes, you can also find us on Instagram, that bring me the ax pod. Dave's over there at that queer wolf. We're having a really good time. You should follow us. We've also got a real sweet website at now at bring me the ax.com.

You can listen to all our past shows there, read the transcripts. And if you don't know, we have another show called 99-Cent Rental, where we cover all manner of video store madness on the weeks that Bring Me the Axe is off. Our latest episode covering Brian De Palma's 1974 rock opera, Phantom of the Paradise, is out now. And we'll be back next week with a bonus to Bring Me the Axe, examining the 1973 vampire movie from Bill Gunn, Ganja, and Hess. Mmm.

Dave! (02:48.339) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (02:49.894) You can also contact us directly at bring me the X pod at gmail.com with any questions comments or suggestions. Do let us know if there's a movie that you love and would like to hear us give it the business. And lastly, if you like what you hear, you can subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts and we're on YouTube now search for us by name subscribe to us there if you prefer to consume your podcast that way. And you'd be doing us a favor by leaving us a five star review on Apple podcasts and Spotify. So get to it. You gotta

Dave! (03:15.018) Yeah, do it, do it. And if you're not gonna do it for me, do it for yourself. You've come a long way, baby. You earned it, girl.

Bryan! (03:18.786) it's fun. And I and I'd like it a lot and uh so would Dave. Uh so yeah and if you listen on YouTube, do us a favor. Give the episode a like and leave a comment. We love hearing from you guys. We really do. We're always chatting with y'all on Instagram and shit. You're fun. So we just want to get uh all that out of the way right at the top of the show. Hey Dave, who's this over here?

Dave! (03:26.47) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (03:39.99) Yep. Well, we have not one, but we have two guests. They are two very funny people. They are the hosts of one of my favorite podcasts, Ooy Keh Horror. Apologies for the pronunciation. It is Johnny Atkinson and Eileen Clark. Hi, guys.

Aileen (03:57.16) Hi, you did beautifully that was a great horror not a lot of people

Jonny (03:57.718) Ayyyyyy!

Dave! (04:02.046) I was going to try to roll the R and I was like, don't do it.

Jonny (04:02.527) Yes.

Bryan! (04:03.714) love I love that I love the rolled Rs it's I was gonna I was gonna attempt a little Espanol myself but

Jonny (04:10.554) Listen, you just have to go for it. You just have to commit. Yes.

Aileen (04:10.608) Oh, feel free to, we welcome it. Yeah.

Bryan! (04:13.954) I've not, I've not, I've not, I took, I took several years of it in high school. I can barely remember how to speak it, but I do.

Aileen (04:20.187) Listen, as long as you can say, mi nombre es a donde esta el baño, I think you'll be fine.

Jonny (04:26.462) Yeah, you're good. You're good. Good to go.

Bryan! (04:28.125) Cool cool cool. Oh, yeah, so I Thank you guys for joining us because we have subject

Dave! (04:34.958) Actually, before we get into this, we usually just launch right into our dumb bullshit. But before we do, I would like Johnny, Eileen, either or both of you, if you could just say a little bit about your show, because I think we exist in a sea of horror movie podcasts, and I think yours stands out a little bit, at least from my perspective. I think it's kind of unique. And so if you can just describe a little bit how you guys come at what you do.

Jonny (04:42.941) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (04:59.286) I'm gonna let Eileen take this because it was her idea and listen, put some respect on her name. Eileen, por favor, please. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Aileen (04:59.455) Of course!

Bryan! (05:05.647) I'm gonna go.

Aileen (05:06.195) Wow, claro, claro que si, hello. So, Huy Que Horror is a Latinx horror movie podcast hosted by Johnny and myself, Eileen. We are best friends since high school, truly have known each other over two decades and it shows. And basically, during the pandemic, Johnny and I and his husband

Dave! (05:10.094) I'm going to go ahead and close the video.

Aileen (05:35.027) started a little movie club where we just basically were watching movies every day. And I was pretty much a horror baby back then. I wasn't fully delved into it. And we decided to switch off and on with horror movie franchises and action movie franchises. And lots of fun was had, pandemic was horrible. And I, as I was watching these horror franchises, I was like,

where are all the Latino people? Adonde estan los Latinos? And so one day I texted Johnny and I was like, listen, I think we could do a podcast where we just focus on Latin American horror films. And we cover the movies that come from Latin American countries, but also we try and highlight directors.

Bryan! (06:07.638) Yeah?

Dave! (06:10.129) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (06:11.034) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (06:33.623) actors, like we'll do American films, but that star Latino actors. And basically we just try and bring a spotlight to this underrated, uh, little branch in horror, because in international horror, you have, you know, Asian, Japanese, Korean, horror is so good, Italian, you got the giallos and all that stuff. Spain has a great big horror, uh, world.

And it's like, yeah, but us too, dude. And the minute we tried to pop open that book, it was like exploding in our face. The amount of content we found was unbelievable. And so I was like, we gotta, and then we did, and we're almost four years in now, and we're still going strong. So many, so many movies to cover. And it's, we've learned.

Jonny (07:06.559) Yeah.

Jonny (07:14.15) Yeah.

Aileen (07:32.335) so much, not only about horror in Latin America and how it's perceived, but also folklore-based horror, which is so fun to know where these monsters come from and these legends and myths, which is great. A lot of political stuff that we've learned from these countries, which is unbelievable. Literally today we covered.

Jonny (07:34.911) Yes.

Dave! (07:55.794) So it's that that's why I wanted you to actually talk about it because I am I'm a I'm a fan of Latin American horror, but sort of newly. But I'm also a monolingual white American who has almost no context for, you know, the historical part of these things or the cultural context for it. And so I feel like I'm kind of missing stuff sometimes, or I'm not really getting to fully understand where the movie is coming from.

Aileen (08:09.405) Right.

Jonny (08:21.547) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (08:24.306) or it's not having the full impact that it could. And I think that's the thing that I love. And that's the reason why I brought the whole question up to begin with is because I think you provide that context in a way that is fun. It makes for a fun listen, but it also, because I usually will then go and try to find some of these movies, I think I understand the movies a little bit better. And that is super interesting. It's super interesting to hear you learn those things, and then it's super interesting to hear them and then go into it that way. And I think that's such a great part of

Aileen (08:44.619) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (08:48.63) Hmm.

Dave! (08:54.158) horror podcasting that is really missing from a lot of things because context is super important, especially with horror.

Bryan! (09:00.358) that. You guys also you guys got me to stop avoiding La Llorona. Because because I had I had I had confused the legacy of that with the really unfortunate one that was made I think is one of those atomic monster ones. And and so I listened to that episode that you guys did about the one in the 30s. And it brought me around to the more recent one which shook me to the fucking core. Yeah. So yeah, it's

Aileen (09:00.708) Yeah, wow.

Jonny (09:00.83) You won't, I mean...

Jonny (09:06.447) Sure, yeah.

Jonny (09:15.518) Mm, mhm.

Aileen (09:21.675) gorgeous Yeah

Jonny (09:21.778) Yeah. Incredible, incredible. I mean, one of the reasons we wanted to do the podcast, aside from the fact that we're like, where's the representation? But, you know, we're Latinos, but we're also learning about all these countries. You know, like we have not lived in all these countries. We did grow up in Latin America, but for us it was like, this is a good way to learn. Not only highlight, but for us to learn.

Dave! (09:25.623) Alright.

Jonny (09:49.414) along with, you know, saying just being ridiculous on top of it, because Eileen and I are fucking ridiculous. But, you know, we're having a good time so far, and we really have learned so much.

Aileen (09:54.355) ridiculous.

Bryan! (09:54.426) Ha ha ha.

Aileen (10:00.203) And that means a lot to hear Dave because like, you know, it's fun for Johnny and I to do it and we are like, oh my God, can you believe this? And I've never heard of that and whatever the hell. And you know, sometimes it feels like you're talking out into the atmosphere. So it feels nice to and like validating. They were like, oh good, it's not just us that are picking up these things. And like you said, being

Jonny (10:12.368) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (10:28.495) inexperienced in certain countries histories and the way that things unfold, sometimes it's hard for us as foreigners to them to pick up the nuances and the different messages that are meant to come through. So we do our best, but also, you know, we try and be lighthearted and

Dave! (10:37.602) Yeah.

Aileen (10:53.839) make it accessible for everybody because if it's accessible to us, it's accessible to everyone.

Bryan! (11:00.991) Yeah, well, the.

Dave! (11:01.61) And in honor of that, I asked you here to watch this fucking terrible movie with us.

Bryan! (11:07.681) I was about to segue that and be like, well, this one's not really Latin American.

Dave! (11:11.89) Or good, or even a movie, I think.

Jonny (11:12.266) This was a joy though. This was a treasure.

Aileen (11:14.795) Listen, we at Uy Que Herror, we have a saying, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because listen, even though we're like, yay Latin American horror, sometimes we get some fucking clunker bombs, dude.

Jonny (11:21.93) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (11:29.482) Yeah, but sometimes you get don't panic and then the whole world is richer for it.

Jonny (11:32.751) Oh, absolutely.

Aileen (11:35.543) Yes, yes, so x-ray was truly it was tasty. It was a bowl of lucky charms

Bryan! (11:35.875) Yeah.

Dave! (11:40.482) No.

Bryan! (11:40.942) good. I was I was so worried that you guys were going to come on the show and be like, what the fuck you guys

Aileen (11:46.987) I mean, definitely what the fuck.

Jonny (11:47.282) I mean, honestly, there is some of that, but it's, I mean, bringing up Don't Panic, similar vibes enough where I was like, this is just like trashy, amazingness that I would recommend to anybody and everybody. Like you should watch. The fact that I had never heard about it, I was like, the world must know, please.

Aileen (11:54.716) Yeah!

Bryan! (12:01.794) Oh yeah, I have, I have been.

Aileen (12:01.899) Truly.

Bryan! (12:07.166) Yeah, yeah, I've been evangelizing this one since he turned me onto it. And like, I can't really I can't really describe it to people. That's in the same way that like we've really been sort of like evangelizing. Don't panic for like the last couple of years. Because it's amazing. But like at the same time, people will be like, OK, so what's it about? And it's like, well, I don't know.

Aileen (12:07.273) Yeah.

Dave! (12:09.303) Yeah.

Jonny (12:10.801) I'm sorry.

Jonny (12:22.102) Because it's incredible.

Aileen (12:22.345) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (12:23.415) That's a great movie.

Dave! (12:29.294) Like it doesn't matter what it's about.

Jonny (12:30.05) Also, like, I don't want to tell you. Just sit down and watch it. And then you'll be grateful that I didn't tell you. Just fucking commit. Do it. Just watch it.

Aileen (12:33.923) Exactly!

Bryan! (12:34.101) I feel like...

Bryan! (12:39.148) And then everybody comes back and goes, Oh my God, those pajamas. All right.

Aileen (12:39.327) Fiat.

Dave! (12:42.198) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (12:42.367) The pajamas!

Jonny (12:44.55) Listen, Eileen got me a pair of those dino pajamas for Christmas a couple years ago. They're incredible. They're very comfortable.

Aileen (12:50.475) I surely did. Vinegar Syndrome, who I'm sure you know about, had, they released, they released Don't Panic Again, and they had like PJs, but I went to video, or to Vinegar Syndrome, and they weren't there. Then I went on eBay, and I was like, oh shit, here they are! And I had to.

Bryan! (12:52.012) That is awesome.

Jonny (12:55.594) Wiped it up.

Dave! (12:56.066) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (12:56.782) Big fans.

Jonny (13:11.904) Haha! Hell yeah.

Dave! (13:12.726) I've been hunting for him for a while now. I'm still gonna keep my eye out, but.

Aileen (13:16.223) Check eBay, dude, I'm telling ya.

Jonny (13:16.615) Yes.

Dave! (13:19.089) Ugh.

Bryan! (13:20.958) Alright, so let's give everybody a little taste of what's coming. Jesus Christ, buckle up.

Dave! (13:24.142) okay

Jonny (13:24.886) Oooo

Aileen (13:27.624) Hehehe

Dave! (13:41.642) No, absolutely not.

Aileen (13:46.507) I need to smoke in this hospital.

Aileen (13:55.14) Oh boy.

Aileen (13:59.173) Exactly!

Aileen (14:06.884) Oh my god, the wig!

Aileen (14:18.42) Oh my god.

Aileen (14:23.043) Love that shot.

Dave! (14:25.859) Every moment of this is gold.

Aileen (14:46.833) Yep.

Dave! (14:56.546) That's weirdly romantic music.

Aileen (14:58.489) Yes!

Bryan! (14:58.538) It's bizarre, bizarre music. So yes, ladies. Oh, listeners. Yep. Listeners.

Jonny (14:59.359) Yes.

Jonny (15:02.57) This is a romance after all.

Dave! (15:02.882) Hmm... Ugh...

Jonny (15:05.878) And it is on Valentine's Day, but we're talking true love.

Aileen (15:06.403) Yes, it is a Valentine's Day film.

Dave! (15:10.139) I... Yeah. That was why it ended up in February, because I was like, why the fuck is it in February? And then I was like, oh my God, it actually does take place around Valentine's. Like, it matters. It has no bearing on anything except maybe the beginning.

Jonny (15:18.178) Yeah, not a nothing.

Bryan! (15:20.226) That's the thing. This is this is this is a movie that was made by people who really did not understand the assignment. They were just like, oh, yeah. So, oh, God. Alright, so warning before we get rolling, we're basically talk about this movie from beginning to end spoilers to follow. Listen, you can watch this one for free on Tubi.

Aileen (15:20.511) Truly.

Dave! (15:27.514) or movies in general, or narrative structure, or talking to people.

Aileen (15:32.873) Yup.

Jonny (15:33.03) and bless them for that, for all of that.

Aileen (15:36.496) It's true.

Bryan! (15:46.09) I strongly recommend it. You have to search for it very specifically x dash ray. Otherwise, it won't show up. It doesn't even show up by its other title hospital massacre. So shall we do some facts?

Aileen (15:51.984) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (15:57.459) on the nose.

Dave! (15:57.642) What's... yeah, okay.

Bryan! (15:59.618) All right. There's honestly not much to know about this movie, unfortunately, but the year was 1982. So here's some other movies that came out in 1982. We are back in the Bring Me the Axe sweet spot. Because Amityville 2 The Possession came out that year, which is our very our very first episode, go back and listen to it. Yeah. Actually, I know that's

Aileen (15:59.947) I'm excited to hear facts!

Dave! (16:02.276) I brought that many.

Aileen (16:05.099) Oh.

Dave! (16:14.391) Yeah.

Aileen (16:17.963) Wow.

Jonny (16:18.385) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (16:21.974) Now, I don't know, you know, I wouldn't recommend you go back and listen to that one. Maybe start with one that's better than that.

Jonny (16:22.026) Wow.

Aileen (16:22.346) Oh, okay.

Bryan! (16:27.194) That's our most listened to episode by a considerable margin. It's like, ah, it's gonna have to be that one. Also in 1982, Pieces, which was also one of our very, one of our very early episodes. Also in 1982, The House on Sorority Row, which is also one of our very early episodes.

Aileen (16:32.495) Wow.

Jonny (16:32.606) amazing.

Dave! (16:38.254) Hmm?

Jonny (16:39.319) Oh shit!

Aileen (16:42.041) Wow

Jonny (16:47.19) Wow.

Dave! (16:49.335) It should be said that at this point, my favorite year for horror is 1982.

Bryan! (16:53.507) It really is.

Jonny (16:54.058) I was gonna say, what a powerful year.

Dave! (16:56.011) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (16:57.283) It's really, it's the-

Aileen (16:57.687) Also, Pieces is so close to being, we have not been able to nail down, but apparently there is a connection to Puerto Rico and we're trying so hard to find a way to get it to be confirmed so we can cover it on the podcast because holy shit.

Jonny (17:10.697) Yes.

Bryan! (17:14.699) We'll dig it up. It must have been like investors from Puerto Rico or something like that.

Jonny (17:15.223) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (17:18.47) That's exactly what I think it is. I think that's what it is.

Aileen (17:18.743) I mean

Bryan! (17:20.738) Yeah. So here's a couple more. We also had the Slayer, which I've never seen. I mean, it looks pretty bad. And also, and also Satan's Mistress. Hmm. Yeah. So yeah, it's not all hits, but 82 is definitely like the peak. No. So here's a little cast and crew. The director is a man named Boaz Davidson.

Aileen (17:22.141) Ugh.

Dave! (17:26.334) Mmm. It's not good.

Jonny (17:27.294) No.

Aileen (17:28.477) Don't even know.

Aileen (17:33.005) Oh, okay. Same.

Jonny (17:33.502) Never seen that either. Wow.

Jonny (17:40.086) They're going for it. They're just, they're swinging for it. I love that.

Aileen (17:41.878) Yeah.

Bryan! (17:47.638) who he was one of Golan and Globus is regular guys. He worked with them in Tel Aviv, and he came to America to direct the earliest pictures under the Canon label. And he works mostly on comedies and some of their sort of post break and dance movies. Salsa.

Dave! (18:00.866) Mm-hmm. Salsa.

Mm hmm. Yeah. It is the it is the Lambada knockoff.

Aileen (18:04.459) Excuse me, I think I've heard of salsa.

Jonny (18:05.414) Wow.

Bryan! (18:07.435) Hahaha

actually it comes it comes out it comes out a year before they before the big lambada schism that kind of broke canon but like they were chasing they were trying so hard to recapture that break-in magic and they just never figured it out

Aileen (18:10.893) Love that.

Jonny (18:11.995) thing.

Aileen (18:24.515) Sure. Oh, we got it. Break into electric Boogaloo.

Jonny (18:24.874) Holy shit.

Bryan! (18:27.086) Yeah. Yeah, so he ends up he ends up on this one as a last minute replacement for an unnamed director who was canned when he failed to produce the money he promised to put into the movie's budget, which seems like a really weird requirement.

Jonny (18:30.024) Hahaha

Aileen (18:40.031) Wow. Yeah.

Dave! (18:41.61) And to that I say, listen, y'all, you know who that guy is. They're just not saying his name.

Jonny (18:42.247) Yeah.

Aileen (18:46.615) Yeah, say his name!

Jonny (18:46.964) Yes.

Bryan! (18:48.398) Who is it?

Jonny (18:51.78) I'm sorry.

Dave! (18:52.115) Yes, please.

Bryan! (18:55.182) So, do you know his name? Cause I don't know his name. Okay. I would love to know who almost did X-Ray. In 2000, he made three killer animal movies and two more in 2002. But he also, yeah, he's a busy dude. He's still working, but he's a producer now. He does a lot of high profile action movies. Like he did, he produced executive produced Rambo and the Expendables.

Aileen (18:59.563) I would love it.

Aileen (19:04.011) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (19:10.591) Oh shit.

Dave! (19:20.33) The expendables too, didn't he do those?

Bryan! (19:23.178) And he also works with Isaac Florentine on his like badass, awesome, like low budget action movies with like Scott Atkins. Yeah, he did. They got one called Ninja. That's it's basically a rip off of. Enter the Ninja, but it's way cooler. Yeah, I recommend it. Yes, yes. So the one in that was in 2000 was 2008 that came out. Yeah, some somewhere around that. But yeah.

Aileen (19:31.377) Okay?

Aileen (19:41.66) Oh, okay.

Jonny (19:42.122) Great. Now we're talking like new Rambo, right? Oh wow, okay.

Jonny (19:50.775) I think I saw that. Wow. Weird.

Aileen (19:51.371) Fascinating. I did not. I have never seen a Rambo movie in my life.

Dave! (19:55.975) You are not missing a single thing.

Jonny (19:58.442) Ha ha ha!

Bryan! (20:01.126) In 1981, he does his damnedest to try and figure out how to make a slasher movie, and we have him to thank for all of this crazy bullshit.

Aileen (20:09.029) Yeah.

Jonny (20:09.234) Yes.

Dave! (20:09.366) guess.

Bryan! (20:11.254) Oh, so the.

Aileen (20:13.053) Dave hates this!

Dave! (20:14.662) No, I love I love I have to say I am fascinated by this movie. So I will just I'll back up a little bit. I wanted to watch this movie called schizoid that has Klaus Kinski in it. It's not very good, but there was a version like on to be or something. It was the transfer sucked. I could barely see anything. I was like, fuck it. I'm going to go buy this so I can actually watch the goddamn movie. And it came from vinegar syndrome was a double feature with this was like the other movie.

Jonny (20:15.122) Hahaha!

Bryan! (20:24.889) Yeah.

Aileen (20:24.978) Oh.

Jonny (20:25.014) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (20:32.639) Hmm.

Dave! (20:41.642) And I was like, well, I have two movies now. I may as well watch it. And I put it on to watch it. And I was captivated.

Aileen (20:41.764) Uh-huh.

Bryan! (20:48.426) in the middle of it. He's like, he's like texting me like I'm watching this movie called x ray and it's I don't know how to describe this. And I was watching I was watching Death Stalker at the same time. And I which also we love with the best with the best in the last in the last episode we recorded we're talking about fucking Jean-Luc Godard and like Federico Fellini and shit and now here we are talking about Death Stalker but

Dave! (20:53.901) Uh-uh.

Dave! (20:59.019) We have good taste.

Jonny (21:01.498) You do, you do.

Jonny (21:08.31) Poundsy. Yeah.

Aileen (21:11.376) Davidson.

Jonny (21:13.59) Hehehe

Bryan! (21:13.882) But yeah, and at the same time, and Barbie Benton's in that one also. And so I was like, and that movie is super short. It's like not even 80 minutes long. And I was like, okay, what should I watch? He's like, you gotta watch this movie, X-ray. And I looked it up, I put it on, and I was about 20 minutes in when I just went to vinegar syndrome and ordered it. And then the very next day, not even 24 hours later, we both watched it again. So.

Aileen (21:17.998) Oh!

Aileen (21:21.887) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (21:24.302) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (21:32.054) Amazing.

Dave! (21:37.502) Yeah, I had to show it to more people because I was just stunned by how fucking bizarre it is. I'm like, who made this? Did people make this movie? And yes, the guy who wrote the Beatles movie,

Jonny (21:39.062) incredible.

Aileen (21:39.267) Listen. Ha ha ha.

Jonny (21:41.503) Yes.

Bryan! (21:45.669) It is.

Bryan! (21:49.269) Me- I-

Bryan! (21:54.018) Yep. Yes. So, the writer, yeah, the writer is a guy named Mark Beam who uh he's an American uh but he worked on like he basically was working in Europe at the time and his first his first feature is one of those um weird like Doctor Mabuse super criminal movies in Germany and then he kind of goes to England and he does a couple of things. He ends up writing help for the Beatles.

Jonny (21:54.93) What? Wow.

Aileen (21:56.148) Stop right now

Dave! (22:12.525) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (22:20.826) And then he comes back here and he ends up doing Lady Chatterley's Lover at the same time as this.

Aileen (22:24.095) This? Oh my!

Dave! (22:26.986) Mm-hmm. I think he was like a fiction writer, like a novel and short story writer. He seemed like he had much more success there because he wrote the short story that Charade is based on.

Bryan! (22:34.746) Yeah.

Aileen (22:35.051) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (22:38.635) Oh, uh...

Jonny (22:39.002) Wow.

Dave! (22:39.754) Yeah, like he's written a bunch of shit that you've heard of, but not the movie version of it. He wrote like the story or the book version of it. Now this one, though, this is a movie he wrote. So I think we can see what he's good at.

Aileen (22:47.145) Sure.

Jonny (22:50.902) Oh yeah, this is a movie.

Aileen (22:53.523) Buddy he's like script. I don't know how to do it. Should I put the name and then the line? How do I make a script?

Dave! (23:02.518) And then you just throw all the pages in the air, you shuffle them back together however they land, and that's your film.

Aileen (23:05.807) Yep, yes, and you did it, buddy.

Bryan! (23:09.786) So our cast is led by one Barbie Benton and she is a she is a woman of many talents. She was central to the Playboy Empire of the early 70s. Not yeah and not just that like he included her on a lot of the sort of brand and editorial decisions of the sort of broader merchandising like she was on the TV show with him. She had a

Dave! (23:13.198) Mm-hmm. Hihihani.

Aileen (23:13.403) It's me.

Dave! (23:19.542) Yeah, she was Hugh Hefner's girlfriend for like six years.

Aileen (23:21.768) Wow.

Jonny (23:21.846) Yes.

Dave! (23:34.19) Hmm, my help feminist of him.

Aileen (23:35.955) Hehe

Bryan! (23:36.018) she played a role in the sort of like the those night clubs that they had. It's she was involved and yeah and then they and then they break up and she ends up going to hee haw for several seasons where she was basically like an actress and a dancer and then yeah and then she became she became one of their yeah she became one of their girl singers and then

Jonny (23:36.662) Hmm.

Jonny (23:42.762) Yeah.

Dave! (23:51.47) was the Hee Haw Honey. It's part of the chorus. One of the gals.

Aileen (23:58.979) Now, hee-haw, sorry, we are foreigners. Hee-haw is, what is he? What is hee-haw?

Jonny (24:03.113) Ha ha!

Dave! (24:04.915) Listen, you don't have to be a foreigner to not know what he-ha is. Yeah.

Bryan! (24:07.968) Country... country music SNL basically in the 70s.

Aileen (24:10.932) Oh, okay. Okay.

Jonny (24:12.384) Oh, wow. Feel like, buddy, skits and shit like that.

Bryan! (24:16.002) Yeah, yeah. And like it was yeah, then their music their musical guests are listen, he is pretty fucking funny. If you go back and watch it. It's it's very it's very 70s.

Dave! (24:16.078) I mean, sure.

Jonny (24:22.038) Wow. So she's like, she's like a comedy gal then. Wow. Honestly.

Bryan! (24:27.426) Yeah.

Aileen (24:28.797) I love that.

Dave! (24:29.358) It's more like laughing than Saturday Night Live.

Bryan! (24:31.662) That's, that's true. Yeah. But yeah, it's

Aileen (24:31.979) Okay, that makes sense.

Jonny (24:33.622) I'll take it though. I honestly was very, when I looked her up, I was like, I'm impressed by this lady. Not only that, starring in this movie, delivering what I thought was a stellar performance in parts, but she also, she's like, she was like a country singer. She released a bunch of albums too. Amazing. Wow. I mean, yeah, listen, that's a career.

Aileen (24:42.975) She nails.

Bryan! (24:44.026) She's acting.

Dave! (24:44.046) She was there.

Dave! (24:50.73) Yeah. And she was on the love boat.

Bryan! (24:50.914) Yeah. Yep. And, and, and Fantasy Island. Yep.

Aileen (24:53.571) The love boat!

Dave! (24:55.932) Yep. And Fanny Saland.

Aileen (24:59.024) Wow, the plane the plane!

Dave! (25:01.034) Mm-hmm. See, you've got all the cultural touchstones. It's fine.

Aileen (25:05.063) Only because I watched American television shows that reference those things. I have no idea other than that. Ha ha ha.

Jonny (25:10.998) Sure. Mm.

Bryan! (25:12.986) I don't actually I don't think I've seen an episode of either of those shows.

Dave! (25:16.78) Oh, I have.

Jonny (25:17.522) Nope, not one. Nope.

Aileen (25:17.856) No clue. I know the reason I know the love boat theme song is because of Sister Act Two and that's, yes! And she sings that song.

Jonny (25:23.954) Distract who? Yep. The love boat. Yeah, absolutely.

Bryan! (25:24.378) Hahaha

Dave! (25:26.094) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (25:31.31) Yep. So we've also got nobody else really much of much. No, we've got a guy named we're gonna get him chip Lucia who like a lot of folks who end up on bring me the axe. He was a prolific guest star on TV did several episodes several episodes of General Hospital several dozen episodes of days of our lives and then

Dave! (25:35.518) Nope. Nobody you've ever heard of.

Jonny (25:43.53) Mm-hmm. Hot.

Aileen (25:45.531) Mm. Very hot.

Dave! (25:51.702) Look, when you need somebody fast, you get somebody from a soap opera. They deliver every time.

Aileen (25:55.783) Yeah!

Bryan! (25:55.786) And he seems, yes, and he seems to be having a really fucking good time in this movie. Yeah. Yeah, you may as you may as well, I guess.

Jonny (25:58.803) Yes.

Aileen (26:01.399) Yeah, I thought he also nailed in this movie.

Dave! (26:04.526) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (26:06.743) He is so handsome. And honestly, what a dream to have a career like that. You're just doing days of our lives, and somebody's like, you want to be in our movie? It's going to take us a week or two. Come be in our film. Absolutely.

Aileen (26:08.595) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (26:17.346) Yeah, because they probably made this movie in about two weeks. Like it's crazy. Oh, good God. Yeah, but this is also yeah, but also that is a good point. This is a really good looking cast like Barbie Benton is a beautiful woman. Hmm. Yeah. And then rounding it out, we got a guy named John Warner Williams, who plays Dr. Saxon. He's also a soap guy, kind of having done only 12 episodes of General Hospital.

Aileen (26:20.809) Yeah.

Jonny (26:20.973) Yes.

Dave! (26:21.686) Five, five weeks.

Aileen (26:24.143) Wow. Okay.

Jonny (26:25.027) Oh, that's a stretch. That's a stretch.

Jonny (26:31.902) Oh, they are beautiful people, left and right. Yeah.

Aileen (26:33.375) Gorgina! Oh my god. Yeah.

Aileen (26:46.603) Bye.

Bryan! (26:46.946) He has probably the smallest resume out of everybody in this movie, and then he vanishes somewhere in the early 90s.

Aileen (26:52.011) Mmm. Yeah, it's true.

Jonny (26:52.438) Hmm, wow. I guess I was gone in the early 90s.

Dave! (26:52.875) like most of us.

Bryan! (26:54.191) Yeah.

Aileen (26:57.959) disappeared in high school doing nothing.

Dave! (27:01.07) down a K-hole of memory.

Aileen (27:03.471) Oh my-

Jonny (27:03.662) hahahaha

Aileen (27:06.131) just G'd out with fucking high school problems.

Jonny (27:11.67) I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.

Bryan! (27:13.062) So here's some taglines for this movie. No, not a one. Well, get ready. There's no recovery room at hospital massacre. Doesn't even work.

Dave! (27:15.506) None of them are good.

Jonny (27:17.534) Give it to me.

Aileen (27:17.763) Oh, I love a shitty tagline. Hit us.

Aileen (27:24.875) Oh my god.

Dave! (27:26.062) Boo!

Jonny (27:26.486) I love that. I love that. Oh. But no, not here.

Aileen (27:31.199) There's no recovery room.

Dave! (27:32.983) Uh-uh.

Bryan! (27:34.216) Here's another one. You have nothing to fear until they operate.

Dave! (27:38.006) That's the one. That's the one I like. Because it is not relevant at all.

Jonny (27:39.752) Wow!

Aileen (27:42.996) There is nary an operation at all.

Jonny (27:43.394) It isn't. It really isn't. No.

Bryan! (27:45.486) No, this was this was made by poster artists who are just like it's a horror movie in a hospital. Yep. Here's another one. The movie that will scare the life out of you. Now, now, now here's one that is pretty accurate. The checkup that became a nightmare.

Jonny (27:49.432) looked at the picture. Yes.

Aileen (27:56.461) Lame.

Jonny (27:56.554) Wow. Nah.

Dave! (28:02.142) Yeah, I mean, this bitch is just showing up to get test results everybody. Just keep that in mind.

Jonny (28:03.103) Yes!

Jonny (28:07.322) Oh my god. Yes.

Bryan! (28:08.482) Alright, and here's the here's. Yep, here's the very last one. It's no secret that some hospitals are not safe. That is there's a hospital right near me. It's pretty well documented.

Aileen (28:08.843) Truly shocking.

Dave! (28:15.263) Now that one I feel is accurate.

Jonny (28:17.436) Yes.

Dave! (28:20.426) Because listen, is this movie good? No. Is this an accurate representation of the American healthcare system? Yeah, pretty much.

Jonny (28:21.5) Yeah.

Aileen (28:26.407) Literally was gonna say that I said this film is an indictment of the fucking American healthcare system and how it fails us every single fucking day Jeez

Bryan! (28:26.633) Probably.

Jonny (28:28.102) Absolutely.

Dave! (28:36.382) No. Yep. Are they going to give me my prescription? No.

Jonny (28:39.382) I feel like you could see that tagline. Absolutely, see that tagline like on a billboard next to a lawyer who's like, call me and I will help you.

Bryan! (28:39.544) Yep.

Aileen (28:46.568) Yeah!

Dave! (28:47.61) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (28:48.49) Yep, so that last tagline appeared on an ad from the trade papers which bore the headline, the Canon Group presents Box Office Gold for 1982. Hmmmm. Not really. Oh yeah, when you go to variety you can say anything.

Dave! (28:57.806) Okay, subjective. No.

Aileen (28:58.771) Sure. I guess we can lie on our taglines then.

Jonny (28:59.098) Was it? It was not.

Dave! (29:05.64) No, because-

Jonny (29:06.278) Sure.

Aileen (29:08.575) Sure.

Dave! (29:09.454) Because I could not find a single review from this movie at all, not a single one. And I conduct research for a living and I have tons of resources at my disposal. I could not find a single fucking thing for this movie. What I did find, however, was so Boaz Davidson, he directed a movie called The Last American Virgin, which is not a good movie and it's extremely dark.

Aileen (29:21.355) Wow

Jonny (29:21.472) Wow.

Bryan! (29:29.294) Oh, God. It's one of yeah, it's one of the darkest movies I've ever seen. It's a remake of an Israeli movie that he also directed for going and Globus called Lemon Popsicle. And it is essentially men's rights, men's rights, the movie like that's Yeah, it's fucking horrifying.

Aileen (29:31.781) Oh boy.

Dave! (29:43.17) Very sexy.

Ew.

So they tone it down for Americans, but not much. I saw it when I was a teenager probably. So the thing I found about that movie, and this is from the Morning Call, which I think is a New York paper, maybe it was, it says, normal adolescent sexual tension might in itself provide the basis for very funny situations.

Jonny (29:49.343) Yikes.

Aileen (29:51.813) Oh boy.

Dave! (30:10.742) But writer-director Boaz Davidson can't quite make up his mind if he wants to be a libertine truffo or a teeny bopper porno king. And I say, why not be both?

Jonny (30:21.248) Yes.

Aileen (30:22.644) Absolutely, that's what you must do. Yeah strive for it all

Jonny (30:24.862) Don't tell him he can't be both.

Bryan! (30:26.774) Yeah, because this movie is that movie is that move that movie is super sleazy. So is this one. Oh my god. Yep. So uh, here's a here's a fact that fact that should surprise no one. Canon wanted a piece of that sweet slasher movie money and they rushed this into production. I know I know the movie was originally released as Hospital Massacre. It's not really clear when it was retitled or for what market.

Dave! (30:27.798) Can I make that... make that paper, Boaz?

Aileen (30:37.371) Oh yeah, oh yes.

Dave! (30:47.307) No.

Aileen (30:47.548) Mm.

Jonny (30:48.024) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (30:57.871) The vinegar syndrome release is titled X-Ray. That's how we came to know it. It was also known as Be My Valentine or else.

Dave! (31:06.134) which is the dumbest title I've ever heard.

Aileen (31:08.913) Wow.

Bryan! (31:08.93) Yeah.

Jonny (31:09.502) Well, it makes you think, like, were they going for, you know, a Halloween, my bloody Valentine style kind of movie, you know, because this is, I think so, right?

Dave! (31:15.378) Yes. Yes, that is what they were shooting for.

Bryan! (31:18.03) Yeah, it's very clear that somebody was like, okay, so we're gonna do this slasher movie thing. It's the hotness, all them kids love it. So it's gotta have a mask, it's gotta have a hoot on it element for some fucking reason. And then it's gotta have a holiday because every slasher movie has a holiday theme. Which is a bit of a fallacy, but I get it. The popular ones did.

Aileen (31:32.692) Yeah.

Jonny (31:32.854) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (31:36.306) Yes.

Aileen (31:37.414) Right.

Dave! (31:39.726) Mm-hmm. And man, did they phone it in with this.

Aileen (31:42.184) Yeah.

Jonny (31:42.454) Especially at this point, yeah. I mean.

Bryan! (31:44.302) But that's kind of common for a lot of these canon movies where it's very clear that they were very savvy, they knew how to exploit trends, but they had a weird misunderstanding of just about everything that they ever made. But somehow everything was like up to a certain point these guys were making bank like crazy. And all every single movie.

Jonny (31:58.454) Mm.

Bryan! (32:07.11) is like has this really unique canon like just quality that is completely divorced from any recognizable reality like people are sort of like talking to one another but there's like everybody behaves very strangely it looks like the world you know but it's like it's almost like a David Lynch movie.

Jonny (32:19.37) Yes.

Aileen (32:19.756) Yeah. Yes.

Dave! (32:21.954) Yeah, it is Uncanny Valley, the movie.

Aileen (32:24.819) thousand percent.

Dave! (32:26.774) But I think some of that is, I think it's cultural difference. And I think in this case, because all these three dudes, so Golem and Glois are coming from Israel, so is Boaz Davidson. And it has this vibe of like, yeah, no, I get it, I get it, let's just go with it. And it's like, I'm not sure you do get it, but okay, sure, why not?

Jonny (32:27.21) But that's like...

Jonny (32:32.214) Hmm.

Jonny (32:42.611) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (32:46.672) YAYAYAYA

Jonny (32:47.094) I mean, there is, I find like there is charm in just like this wooden acting in this film and like just the way the delivery is or the lines are delivered throughout the film. But like, it's that 80s shit, 70s, honestly, 80s shit that I'm just like, I love this, you know? You want them to be acting terribly.

Aileen (32:54.303) Ha ha

Dave! (32:56.45) Yes!

Bryan! (32:57.575) Oh yeah, see, I love it.

Bryan! (33:08.39) I'm sorry.

Dave! (33:11.543) I love watching American culture through other lenses like Italians when they would try to make movies or even in like, if you watch some like late 80s Mexican movies, it's the same thing where they're trying to make a movie for an American market to break into an American market. So they're like, here's American movie. You're just like, what? No, it's not. But I love seeing it. Yes.

Jonny (33:26.666) Yes.

Aileen (33:26.707) Yeah.

Bryan! (33:31.178) Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah.

Aileen (33:31.72) Yeah.

Absolutely.

Jonny (33:34.632) Don't panic.

Mm-hmm.

Dave! (33:38.358) where they're just like, we went on this beautiful breakfast date. It's like, no, you did everything but eat breakfast. You wore sombreros, you went in a boat, you ate melted ice cream.

Bryan! (33:43.706) Ha ha ha.

Aileen (33:45.611) This day, oh my god

Jonny (33:46.957) Hahaha! Yes! You went to the park. Oh my god. Oh my god! Classic. Oh my god. The best. I'm so glad you guys know what that is. That's incredible.

Bryan! (33:48.537) We're gonna go to a jet set party. There's gonna be a big rock concert.

Aileen (33:52.927) Oh my god, at my jet set party!

Dave! (33:55.546) Mm-hmm. Ugh.

Bryan! (33:58.84) Yeah. We are. We are. We're big fans of Ruben Galindo.

Dave! (34:01.034) Uh.

Aileen (34:01.863) No, seriously.

Dave! (34:05.035) Yeah.

Jonny (34:05.587) Um, gang, gang.

Aileen (34:06.423) Oh, what a King

Bryan! (34:07.91) Yeah. But I mean, even like some of the like later Italian stuff like Bruno Mattei, his movies were always tuned very much for the North American market. And so they look like they look like they were made on like 10 bucks. And they're supposed to appeal to like an American market. But like, it's sort of like watching somebody from Mars try to kind of figure out what Americans are doing. It's really bizarre.

Aileen (34:18.568) Mmm.

Jonny (34:18.921) Mm. Mm-hmm.

Jonny (34:33.376) Mm.

Dave! (34:33.474) Yeah, because they never bother to like pay someone to do like pay an American to do punch up on the script. So you end up with like this thing that's like, let's go to the jet set party to the rock concert. And you're like, what are you saying?

Bryan! (34:42.483) Oh, dude.

Aileen (34:44.339) Yeah. Aha.

Jonny (34:44.571) Right. Yeah.

Bryan! (34:46.015) Bruno Matei did not have did not have consultant budget. But uh, yeah, hey,

Aileen (34:49.706) Totally. Now you guys know how we feel when Latinos are in American films and it's just a horrible representation of us. See? Now we're all equal because everybody.

Bryan! (34:56.622) Hehehehe. Yeah. Yep. Hahaha.

Dave! (34:58.311) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (35:01.75) Mm.

Dave! (35:03.186) Everyone's offended.

Jonny (35:05.696) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (35:06.013) I'm sorry.

Bryan! (35:07.61) So, uh hey, how about we get into this? Alright, so we open on Susan's House, 1961. That's what the card says. Su-

Aileen (35:09.82) Yes!

Jonny (35:09.973) Yes.

Dave! (35:10.307) The time has come.

Jonny (35:18.867) literally just said who's Susan who the fuck is Susan we'll find out oh yeah

Bryan! (35:23.076) We are gonna get to know her and her and her fucking Kafka esque ordeal of this movie.

Dave! (35:25.355) Never heard of her.

Aileen (35:27.251) Susan

Aileen (35:32.727) Oh my god.

Dave! (35:33.086) Now this is, so these are the kids from, if you've ever seen Bloody Birthday, they must have shot it at the same time because these are the same kids.

Bryan! (35:36.706) Yes, they're both in Bloody Birthday.

Aileen (35:37.287) I'm...

Bryan! (35:41.678) Yeah, yeah. So.

Jonny (35:43.062) Like for real? Wow.

Aileen (35:44.642) I've only seen the Dead Meat episode on YouTube on it, and immediately I recognized, I was like, hey, you're from the My Bloody Birthday, or whatever it's fucking called.

Bryan! (35:46.17) Yeah.

Dave! (35:56.65) It's a terrible movie, but yeah, they're the same kids. They must have shot the same time.

Jonny (35:56.754) Wow.

Bryan! (35:59.998) it was it was made like right back to back with this. The cannons production schedule was like that where it was just like movies stacked straight to the end and so they would just go one by one by one by one and if it meant if it meant that they could save money like you know they did that. Yeah yeah that's exactly what they did and they even write down to the fact that like they would get budget for one movie and then like split it up and make three but.

Jonny (36:01.098) Amazing.

Aileen (36:10.773) Sure.

Dave! (36:14.254) sealed Roger Corman AIP approach to filmmaking.

Aileen (36:14.715) Of course. Mm-hmm.

Aileen (36:24.247) Sure. Amazing.

Jonny (36:24.393) Wow.

Bryan! (36:26.182) Yeah, eventually that catches up with them and breaks them once they get the Superman IP. But yeah. So, yeah, Susan and her brother excitedly play with a model train.

Jonny (36:29.279) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (36:31.673) Oh boy.

Dave! (36:35.822) I think you're underselling it because they are ecstatic about these trains. That kid is having a goddamn seizure over this train.

Bryan! (36:39.372) in

Jonny (36:39.798) Oh my god.

Aileen (36:43.979) Truly.

Bryan! (36:44.026) And she wants it to go faster and faster and faster. Yeah. Hey. Yep. So it's so see it's Valentine's Day judging by the decorations around the house. All is well. That is except for the sinister young boy watching them through the window. Yep, he sneaks up. He leaves a Valentine at the door.

Dave! (36:47.774) Just like a woman, am I right?

Jonny (36:48.17) how I felt.

Aileen (36:52.303) Not always!

Jonny (36:55.658) Uh... Hahahaha!

Aileen (37:03.421) Oh my god.

Aileen (37:08.679) What a creep.

Bryan! (37:12.45) and then watches with a wicked expression as she opens it with her brother. And it's very much a I choo choose you moment where like, yeah, they laugh and then they see that it's from, it's from.

Dave! (37:20.086) Yeah.

Aileen (37:20.207) Yes.

Jonny (37:21.245) Mmm.

Dave! (37:24.906) Now, are kids really like this though, like, privately? Like, if they were alone in the house, would you be like, look what this fucking jerk gave me? I'd be like, huh, this makes me a little uncomfortable. Okay.

Jonny (37:27.722) Yes.

Bryan! (37:32.462) Ha ha ha.

Jonny (37:35.882) Look, kids are dicks.

Bryan! (37:35.97) And we see it's, it's. Yep.

Dave! (37:37.962) No, I know, I hate them.

Aileen (37:38.155) Kids are fucking, kids are fucking dicks, dude. But at this moment, before we're in the middle of this film, I felt bad for this, you know, creep in the window because I was like, oh, he likes her. He wants to give a Valentine. And I mean, it feels sweet. And then suddenly he's married.

Bryan! (37:40.737) Oats.

Jonny (37:55.04) Yeah.

Dave! (38:00.206) Guy's menacing at the window and you're like, you were expecting this, you wanted this, Harold.

Bryan! (38:01.538) Yeah, that's the thing. That's the part that makes me that's the part that makes me like not feel bad for him is because he though his look is just like evil and sinister and wicked. Yeah, they laugh, they see that it's from it's from Harold, and they throw the crumpled Valentine on the floor, which angers him. So Susan goes into the kitchen, and she takes a huge knife out of the drawer and then sneak

Jonny (38:02.225) Yes.

Aileen (38:04.276) YAH

Jonny (38:05.43) Mmm. Mm-hmm.

Aileen (38:10.945) Yeah.

Jonny (38:11.644) Yes.

Dave! (38:17.97) Yep.

Jonny (38:19.707) No.

Aileen (38:23.552) This fucking knife.

Dave! (38:25.818) to cut into a whole ass cake.

Jonny (38:26.238) This fucking shot! He brought a machete down onto this cake. I'm gonna take a big ass piece of this cake. Wow.

Bryan! (38:28.87) I'm sorry.

Bryan! (38:32.134) Because yes.

Dave! (38:32.266) It is a... This is a saber the likes of which you see in like an Indiana Jones movie or like a Brazilian steakhouse. Like, just how is that sword she is coming down?

Aileen (38:32.307) She surely did.

Bryan! (38:38.102) Oh yeah, this is. It's it's very much like a Hassan shop moment. So, yeah, she sneaks up ever so wickedly and uses it to attack the cake. There's a commotion out in the other room. When she emerges with a couple of slices of cake, she finds David hung up on a coat rack. That's unclear how this killed him. But here we are.

Aileen (38:38.699) Thanks for watching!

Jonny (38:38.954) Yes, that is a weapon. Yeah.

Aileen (38:46.312) Totally.

Jonny (38:46.738) Oh my god.

Dave! (39:01.722) or how he got there or what is happening at all. And guess what, everybody, you're going to ask yourself that question every three minutes in this movie.

Bryan! (39:07.926) Yeah.

Aileen (39:09.311) That's very true.

Jonny (39:09.97) Now, a question about this death, was there like a coat hanger poking into his throat or was he just kind of hung up on it? He was impaled, right? And this is a child. He is like nine? Never. No. Oh my gosh.

Dave! (39:20.22) I think that's what we're supposed to assume is that, yeah.

Aileen (39:25.252) Oh.

Thanks for watching!

Dave! (39:28.71) Oh, I'm fine with that. I am. I don't like to see I don't like seeing animal deaths in movies, but people are like, Oh, a child dies. And I'm like, I go fuck. I didn't like them to begin with.

Aileen (39:35.129) Agreed.

Bryan! (39:38.416) Hahaha

Jonny (39:39.866) read about the animals. I'm like the moment that happens I'm like no it's over you've lost me I hate this

Aileen (39:41.544) Yeah.

Aileen (39:45.091) Yeah, yeah. Save the dogs.

Bryan! (39:45.758) Yeah. So now she turns and she sees Harold there at the window looking evil. Oh, I know and cackling, twisting a mustache. So now we flash forward 19 years later as Susan is greeted outside of work by her daughter and her ex husband who is just one of this movie's many hyper intense weirdos.

Jonny (39:48.827) Yeah.

Dave! (39:53.982) Yeah, all but wringing his hands.

Aileen (39:57.075) Truly.

Jonny (39:58.226) Ooh, evil kid. Yeah. The kid told it.

Dave! (39:59.166) Like Mr. Burns at the window.

Aileen (40:01.011) Totally excellent.

Aileen (40:05.884) Yeah.

Aileen (40:14.471) Oh my god.

Jonny (40:15.51) Yeah.

Bryan! (40:16.821) These two don't get along? Yeah.

Dave! (40:17.01) Everybody comes into this movie at a 10. There's nowhere else to go.

Jonny (40:20.542) Absolutely. Yeah.

Bryan! (40:22.178) Yeah, no, it's like it's like they were probably they were acting like normal people like in their initial takes and then Boaz Davidson is like, no, crank it up, crank it up.

Aileen (40:23.123) down.

Dave! (40:30.27) Now do it like Americans, okay?

Jonny (40:31.514) More. Yeah.

Aileen (40:32.105) Yeah.

Bryan! (40:35.55) So, these two don't get along which is all you need to really take away from this exchange and while they're beefing, her new boyfriend shows up to pick her up. She has to go to the

Aileen (40:35.951) Oh.

Dave! (40:42.606) Cause he's, well, Tom's like, he's like, Hey, it's okay that I dropped her off early. And she's like, no, Tom, I have to get my test results. Can't you get anything right? And I'm like, God, fuck the both of you.

Jonny (40:53.886) Wow. With a child in tow. Yeah, in front of the kid. In front of the kid.

Aileen (40:55.071) This poor little girl. Thank you. This just being like mother, father.

Bryan! (40:57.215) Oh, I don't this.

Dave! (41:03.082) And then...

Bryan! (41:03.214) that girl is going to have no less than like 11 stays in rehab.

Dave! (41:07.306) And then he walks away, he walks away and she goes, what an asshole.

Aileen (41:07.589) Yeah.

Jonny (41:07.791) Absolutely.

Bryan! (41:11.) Hahaha.

Jonny (41:11.846) Oh my gosh. I must say though, like the moment we see Susan, she was instantly iconic to me. Her hair, her hair. Her hair is so beautiful throughout this film until the end when she's, spoiler alert, running around for her life. But also she literally says a line here where she's like, cut it out, Bob. And I was like, iconic. I'm obsessed with you. Knock it off, Bob.

Dave! (41:18.929) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (41:19.495) Yes. Her hair.

Bryan! (41:20.474) Her hair is awesome.

Dave! (41:37.834) Yeah. You know, she looks like she just walked off the set of Columbo. She is every inch the 80s queen that we all expect of a movie.

Bryan! (41:38.18) Hahaha

Jonny (41:46.954) Yes, she's a stunner. Oh my gosh.

Bryan! (41:49.082) She has a she has a sparkling like shining quality too. It's crazy.

Aileen (41:49.343) For me?

Jonny (41:53.615) Yes.

Aileen (41:53.779) Her eyes, her eyes are like green, but for me, the thing that I could not take my eyes off were the cream pumps. The cream pumps. I was like, this is fucking amazing. Loved those cream pumps.

Jonny (41:58.25) Yes.

Jonny (42:11.254) Oh my god, I'm telling you. Oh, she's iconic. I'm obsessed with her.

Bryan! (42:16.742) So the reason that there's this beef, there's a static now is because she has to go to the hospital you see, to pick up some test results.

Aileen (42:21.963) Of course.

Jonny (42:23.734) with dear.

Dave! (42:24.384) Just again everybody, keep that in mind because she's just here to pick up test results. This should take five minutes.

Aileen (42:26.471) Yes.

Bryan! (42:29.955) Yeah.

Jonny (42:30.267) Yes.

Aileen (42:32.619) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (42:33.198) No. So at the hospital, we learned from Mr. Boyfriend that they had some trouble there last year when a patient ran a mock or something. Now, according to Susan, this will only take a couple of minutes. She has no idea how wrong she could possibly be.

Jonny (42:33.214) Yes, it's that.

Aileen (42:38.576) Hehehe

Dave! (42:45.374) Now she says, I'll see you in a minute. And I said, no, you won't, Susan. No, you won't.

Jonny (42:47.23) Oh, no. She might as well have said, I'll be right back. Might as well have said that. Oh my God.

Bryan! (42:49.173) You

Aileen (42:49.463) No, if she- I literally was gonna say that, Johnny. Yes, absolutely.

Bryan! (42:52.526) Hahaha

Bryan! (42:58.172) So now, at reception, which is all decorated for Valentine's Day to remind you that this is one of those holiday slasher movies that the kids all seem to like. While she does this, she's eyed by a janitor who menacingly drums his fingers on a nearby cabinet while staring at her.

Dave! (43:12.302) because he is one of many menacing men in this movie. Every man in this movie is just like, I am here to either save you or rape you or both.

Jonny (43:12.81) I love his bow tie.

Jonny (43:17.59) Uh oh.

Bryan! (43:19.97) He's, yeah, all the guys are like a cross between a cartoon character who sees like the really hot lady and like their eyes bug out and then their hearts pumping. But also they look like one of those guys who's like shipwrecked on an island and their friend looks like a chicken drumstick. It's like a cross between that. You can't, they're all salivating like dogs. It's fucking nuts.

Jonny (43:20.992) Yes.

Aileen (43:28.376) Nauga!

Jonny (43:28.471) Yes.

Dave! (43:30.177) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (43:42.271) Yes, I must say.

Aileen (43:42.819) It's so crazy.

Dave! (43:43.218) Except it's like, it's that, but if like the guy on the island also wanted to savagely tear apart the chicken drumstick.

Aileen (43:51.026) Yeah.

Jonny (43:51.57) Yes. I am actually obsessed with this janitor's outfit, though. His little bow tie outfit. I was like, I would absolutely wear this tomorrow as I walk down the street. And also, to quote Randy Meeks in Scream, everybody's a suspect, or everyone's a suspect in this film. Every single person, they're like, we're going to throw this in here. This might be the killer.

Bryan! (43:52.944) So, um.

Aileen (44:10.281) Yeah.

Bryan! (44:11.094) everything.

Dave! (44:15.946) Red herrings, every one of them.

Bryan! (44:16.098) Yeah. Which is which is crazy because yeah, well, actually I'll save it because the whodunit quality of this movie is completely pointless. So, as she walks away,

Aileen (44:17.72) Yes.

Jonny (44:18.266) Oh, this is like... It's the whodunit.

Jonny (44:27.159) Absolutely.

Dave! (44:29.054) Also, because we know who it is, like, from the very beginning.

Bryan! (44:31.674) from the moment the movie starts.

Jonny (44:31.958) Ah, ah, I, I lean enough.

Aileen (44:36.927) Beg to differ because I was I was talking to Johnny yesterday, and I was like I'll tell you I didn't know it was until the very end. I was shocked by the reveal. I mean I mean I knew that it

Bryan! (44:38.792) Oh no.

Jonny (44:42.072) Yes.

Jonny (44:47.902) And I literally turned to my lead and I was like, me too. Yeah.

Dave! (44:48.462) Wow.

Bryan! (44:54.013) So, bye.

Dave! (44:54.038) Well job well done, Boaz!

Aileen (44:54.387) I mean, obviously we knew it was gonna be Harold again, but I was like, which one of these thousands of options that we have is Harold grown up? And I genuinely was like, who?

Jonny (45:01.183) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (45:06.469) Yes.

Bryan! (45:08.611) Yeah.

Jonny (45:09.071) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (45:11.85) And then you miss the part where the guy, where the doctor introduces himself as Harold?

Jonny (45:16.886) Absolutely, I missed it. I was, I was stuffed in by those baby blue eyes. I was just like, oh, doctor. Oh, this blonde doctor. My goodness.

Bryan! (45:18.17) Hahaha!

Aileen (45:19.738) W-w-

Aileen (45:23.311) Oh yes. That tan skin, I was like, excuse me.

Dave! (45:29.546) Listen, they're overselling it. He had real beady eyes. Was he the hottest one in the group? He was the hottest one in the group, but still very beady.

Bryan! (45:33.187) I don't know, I'm gonna tell ya.

Jonny (45:33.952) I was very taken.

Aileen (45:37.407) Yes.

Jonny (45:37.783) Agreed. Yes.

Bryan! (45:40.924) So now as she walks away, he pensively folds his hands over the mop handle, just staring off into space. So now in the elevator, she mistakenly presses the button for the ninth floor when she needs to go to the eighth floor. And the camera pans to her left to show us that she's riding with a dude who has something red smeared on his mouth like blood. It's also dripping on her foot.

Aileen (45:48.121) Weird.

Aileen (45:53.407) Hmm.

Jonny (45:58.998) Oh my God.

Bryan! (46:01.454) But as it would happen, it's just some drunk dude in the elevator with her who appears to have used an entire bottle of ketchup on the sandwich that he's eating.

Aileen (46:07.947) Holy fuck. I was like, excuse me, sir? Are you all right? Cause that is not a sane amount of ketchup. It's coming out of the burger, cascading out of it. I was like.

Dave! (46:10.51) Goodnight.

Dave! (46:23.598) My question, my question is who is in charge here? Why is this man just walking around eating a giant sloppy hamburger?

Aileen (46:26.802) Uh-huh!

Jonny (46:27.069) What? Yes.

Jonny (46:30.782) Why, and he, why is he drunk? Like who allowed this? What is happening right now? Oh my God.

Dave! (46:33.767) And why is he wearing a tie?

Aileen (46:38.879) Truly. And not to bring it back to the pumps, but you've ruined my cream pumps.

Jonny (46:44.967) My cream pump.

Dave! (46:45.694) Yeah, she wipes it off later, but I was like, no, bitch, that's not gonna do it. That's ketchup, that's acid.

Bryan! (46:45.97) I'm sorry.

Aileen (46:49.175) No. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Jonny (46:49.766) No, absolutely not.

Bryan! (46:49.774) You gotta get in there. You gotta get in there with a toothbrush. So now up on the ninth floor, we get some first person POV where a gloved hand lovingly strokes a photo of young Susan.

Jonny (46:54.393) God.

Dave! (47:01.802) And my God, this is the foggiest hospital I've ever seen.

Bryan! (47:04.81) It's... yeah. So back in the elevator, the door opens and Susan is accosted by three weirdos in gas masks. See, they're f- Oh. See, what this- this movie quickly turns into like Dante's Inferno almost immediately. Like, it is a trip through hell. So yeah, uh, they're- they're fumigating the floor and she'd better beat it or she'll be deloused. Yep. So-

Jonny (47:05.619) Yes, very difficult to see.

Aileen (47:08.734) Yes.

Aileen (47:12.979) What the fuck?

Dave! (47:13.323) Why? Who knows?

Aileen (47:19.676) Yeah.

Jonny (47:21.132) Yes.

Aileen (47:23.071) Ha!

Dave! (47:29.738) Mmm. The 80s. Just like the 80s.

Aileen (47:31.304) Okay.

Jonny (47:31.406) You know that those actors are basically, they just do the guys who play the doctors into masks. And we're like, could you just stand here in the elevator for a moment and just, you know, because we're not gonna see your face.

Aileen (47:41.606) Oh yeah.

Bryan! (47:41.63) Yeah, it's that or it was like uh right or it was like the craft services guys. So, yeah. So now, up on the uh the ninth floor, uh someone named Doctor Jacobs finds the place foggy and uh lit like a Corman horror movie and for some reason,

Dave! (47:46.198) Yeah, I was gonna say those are the craft services people.

Aileen (47:47.483) Yeah. Totally.

Jonny (47:47.73) Yes, yes, absolutely.

Dave! (48:01.494) And also is why do they keep all is this the floor where they keep all their gag jokes? Like what is the why are there so many mannequins?

Aileen (48:07.667) Why are there mannequins? MANNEQUINS! Too many.

Bryan! (48:10.242) Yeah. It's a lot of them. It's a lot of them. You think it was you think it was like a department store or something. Yeah.

Jonny (48:14.087) Yeah.

Jonny (48:17.59) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (48:18.475) I mean, the prop work in this movie, as we go along, I took so many notes of like, why is this weird object in this room? They were like, whoever said, oh yes, I'm the prop master of this film. We will be in a hospital? Of course. Mannequins, that's what we'll need. Sir? Yes. A laboratory kit? That as well, thank you.

Dave! (48:36.73) Mm-hmm. Cans of tomato soup. I'm on it.

Jonny (48:38.122) Mm-hmm. Yes.

I love the nail scoop!

Bryan! (48:44.102) Yeah. Now, for some for some reason, Dr. Jacobs continues deeper into the ninth floor.

Jonny (48:45.899) Uh, yeah, this makes sense.

Dave! (48:51.574) Now, which one is Dr. J? Is she the one with the beautiful Billie Jean King haircut?

Bryan! (48:55.458) Yes.

Jonny (48:55.722) The blonde, yeah, blonde haircut. Mm-hmm.

Aileen (48:55.78) Yes, that's her.

Dave! (48:57.783) I was like this poor lesbian is about to die in this foggy hospital

Aileen (48:59.947) This poor lesbian

Jonny (49:00.194) Oh, poor thing. But also Dr. Jacobs should have known better. What are we doing up here?

Bryan! (49:01.378) Ha ha

Dave! (49:04.574) Honestly, if I were on an elevator and it opened the door open to that, I'd be like, no, this is not the right floor. This is never the right floor.

Bryan! (49:05.879) Yep.

Aileen (49:10.114) No!

Bryan! (49:10.618) Yeah. And so now she's in a room where she finds what appears to be a dead body on a stretcher, but it's only a mannequin. And also the soundtrack in this scene, the soundtrack in this movie is fucking crazy because this movie had like a composer and shit, but it all sounds like

Jonny (49:10.825) Let's go!

Aileen (49:13.951) Truly.

Jonny (49:14.543) Absolutely.

Aileen (49:20.807) Hehehe

Jonny (49:21.34) Shocker.

Dave! (49:21.37) ZING!

Aileen (49:28.212) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (49:32.678) And he was actually he's a decent composer. His name is Arlon Ober. And he did so he did a bunch of shit for Canon, but he also did eating Raul, which is a Paul Bartel movie. He did all the Robo tech scoring for like going all the way back to the original not the Japanese one, but the American stuff going forward. He's done it all.

Bryan! (49:35.854) Yeah.

Aileen (49:41.673) Oh!

Bryan! (49:46.146) Yeah, he worked on.

Bryan! (49:50.906) the imported stuff.

Aileen (49:53.009) Wow.

Bryan! (49:54.007) Yeah, he worked on Child's Play.

Jonny (49:54.898) I felt this, oh shit, I actually found the score here kind of frightening, I'm not gonna lie, because there were weird like voices in the back, being like, huh, wha, wha.

Bryan! (50:05.046) It's the chanting.

Dave! (50:06.718) Yeah, it is a straight rip off of the Omen. Like it is just like, what's the scariest thing? It's Rosemary's baby, the Omen. Great, can you mash those together? Sure.

Bryan! (50:14.414) But they also they also very. I was saying they very clearly. They very clearly ripped off Harry Manfredini to there's a lot of that like string sweep stuff that he does in Friday, the 13th. It's but yeah, it's weird because it's like it's a soundtrack from another movie almost entirely. It's crazy.

Jonny (50:14.614) Yes, but I had to pause because I was just like, where are these coming from?

Jonny (50:25.431) Yes. Yeah.

Dave! (50:32.299) Yeah, the Omen.

Jonny (50:32.626) Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Aileen (50:34.539) I couldn't tell what they were saying, but it sounded, it was either, he sees her or in season.

Bryan! (50:41.733) Ha ha

Dave! (50:42.102) Okay, I went with both and I sang both throughout the film and I think he sees her as the one that they're going with. I think that's the one they're shooting for.

Aileen (50:45.291) Uh huh. Me too. Okay.

Jonny (50:49.978) Ah. Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (50:50.598) I gotta check that out, because I kept trying to like make it out too, and I'm like, is it Latin? Is it?

Dave! (50:55.457) No.

Aileen (50:57.019) Either he sees he sees her in season. I was like, I don't know

Bryan! (51:00.351) Ha ha.

Dave! (51:04.362) That's actually our new theme song.

Bryan! (51:06.342) was just. Yeah. So she's about to leave when she's suddenly attacked by a man in surgical scrubs. He stabs her repeatedly and she appears to explode just all over him. Just

Jonny (51:06.672) Oh yeah.

Dave! (51:15.998) You have just buckets of blood into her face.

Aileen (51:17.135) Oh my God. Yeah.

Jonny (51:17.266) This was fucked. I thought this was fucked. Look, Eileen and I have said this so many times on the pod. Stabbing, no. I hate it, please, no. And I was like, I can't. This was, I felt for poor Dr. Jacobs and her terrible haircut. This is brutal.

Aileen (51:25.927) Low, it's the worst. But horrible.

Aileen (51:33.035) Poor Dr. Jacobs.

Dave! (51:34.442) except she just explodes outward as though like, like a chest ripper from Alien just right up at it.

Jonny (51:38.015) Yeah.

Absolutely. Yep.

Aileen (51:42.524) Love it.

Bryan! (51:43.834) So with Dr. Jacobs dead, the lever is pulled again and the elevator springs back to life, dropping Susan on the eighth floor. Now elsewhere, our killer swaps out Susan's medical records with someone else's. The folder says, patient suffers from chronic pain. Head.

Dave! (52:00.59) Now that will, this will become so much more elaborate as time goes by, because you'd think she has the goddamn plague by halfway through this movie.

Jonny (52:01.33) I didn't see that.

Jonny (52:05.846) Bye.

Aileen (52:08.04) God.

Bryan! (52:09.706) Oh, the way that the doctors all like look at each other and then like look at her. I'm like, please just explain it. What does the fucking chart say?

Jonny (52:10.817) Yes.

Jonny (52:16.451) Oh my god.

Aileen (52:16.555) Somebody tell me what I have fuck I was so mad

Jonny (52:21.398) Talk to this woman. Just talk to the woman.

Dave! (52:23.846) No, and if you keep asking, we're gonna have to operate.

Aileen (52:26.879) Yes! Uh... On who? Fuck.

Jonny (52:27.462) Oh, leave us. Wow.

Bryan! (52:28.358) what? Yeah. No. So she, yeah. Let's see. Oh, yeah. So. Yeah. So up on. Yeah. So meanwhile, up on nine, the creepy janitor finds what appears to be a bloody crime scene where Dr. Jacobs has just been murdered, but it's just a spilled can of paint.

Dave! (52:30.66) Doesn't matter.

Jonny (52:32.489) It doesn't.

Dave! (52:35.986) Meanwhile, Barbie's smoking in the hospital. Nah, I mean, the 80s.

Aileen (52:38.911) Just...

Dave! (52:50.862) I thought it was tomato sauce, cause I was like, why is there tomato sauce? Look, it's not that unreasonable.

Aileen (52:56.771) It could have been! It could have been. Yeah.

Jonny (52:57.11) Honestly, it's not. Yeah.

Bryan! (52:59.304) No, call it we're gonna we're gonna call this movie misdirect the motion picture. It's just one false start after another.

Aileen (53:03.514) Yeah.

Dave! (53:04.782) And then meanwhile, the janitor's got his cart and he's just fucking banging through the hallway, knocking into everything. He just does, he does not give a shit.

Jonny (53:05.772) Absolutely.

Aileen (53:12.235) Not one shit. Of course not.

Jonny (53:12.558) Absolutely not. Not on the ninth floor.

Bryan! (53:13.515) he's not no, he's not paid enough. So, when he finds when he finds Doctor Jacobs' body stuffed upside down in a nearby locker, he freaks out and is attacked by our mysterious killer. The killer stuffs his head in a tub of acid maybe or it could be liquid nitrogen. I paused it on his face. Couldn't tell what happened to him.

Dave! (53:17.066) It's too foggy to see anything up there. Not his fault.

Aileen (53:18.867) Ha ha ha!

Jonny (53:19.05) I'm sorry.

Dave! (53:35.322) It is acid because the guy the effects guy on the special features goes out of his way to explain how they did this. And I was kind of like, dude, nobody really cares. But yeah, it. That's what I thought it was to

Jonny (53:36.02) Look like.

Bryan! (53:45.451) All I know is that it's gross.

Aileen (53:47.591) It looked like googly eyes.

Jonny (53:47.934) It is gross. It looked like marshmallows to me. It was gross. Oh.

Aileen (53:54.37) To me it looked like they put a bunch of googly eyes all over his face And I was like is this everywhere every everything everywhere all at once cuz his fucking face is covered in googly eyes

Bryan! (54:02.821) haha

Jonny (54:02.892) I'm sorry.

Dave! (54:06.342) It may as well be because I don't think anybody in this movie or associated with this movie has seen a movie before.

Aileen (54:13.742) No.

Bryan! (54:15.923) So, I don't know, whatever. The murder appears to be a real bummer for our killer, who thrashes angrily against the wall after killing this guy.

Dave! (54:22.358) He does, but you know what? Ultimately, ultimately he, like the rest of us, is happy that the janitor is dead. Like he's real conflicted about this. And it's like, you're a psychopath. Like...

Aileen (54:22.495) What the fuck was this?

Bryan! (54:29.819) Yeah.

Aileen (54:32.561) Yeah.

Jonny (54:32.712) Mmm.

Bryan! (54:36.642) Yeah, so yeah, well, we're supposed to know he's like he's crazy, right?

Dave! (54:40.098) Hmm. I mean the fact that he just killed two people sort of clues me in but

Aileen (54:40.4) R.I.P.S.

Jonny (54:40.662) Yeah.

Jonny (54:44.566) That's enough. We've got it.

Bryan! (54:46.062) Yeah. So meanwhile, Susan calls her ex who menacingly stabs an orange with a knife. But here's the yeah. But here's the thing of the many people this movie wants us to think of as potential killers. This dude is a million miles away. Yeah. So what is the hell is what's with the intensity? Yeah.

Aileen (54:47.308) Yeah.

Dave! (54:51.855) Back at home? Holy shit!

Aileen (54:58.799) It's this husband.

Dave! (55:00.022) Yeah. But he definitely can't be the killer. And if I was that little girl, I would leave the house. Because something's wrong with daddy.

Bryan! (55:08.276) Hahaha.

Aileen (55:09.223) If I turned around and I looked at my dad and he was cutting an orange with that particular knife, I'd be like... I'd be...

Dave! (55:17.014) Yeah, with a military knife.

Bryan! (55:19.586) Yeah, you would think he looks he looks a haunted like a nom vet or something like that.

Dave! (55:23.149) Yah!

Aileen (55:23.987) And the way he's like, maybe there's someone I don't wanna talk to. I was like, Dad, are you okay? You need to go to therapy. Ha ha ha. CPS, it's me, I need to be picked up, please.

Jonny (55:24.811) He does.

Jonny (55:30.53) Oh boy. Call the authorities.

Bryan! (55:33.989) Mm.

Dave! (55:35.142) Who could that be?

Bryan! (55:40.61) Yeah, he doesn't answer the phone, by the way.

Dave! (55:42.686) And she, but the girl, the little girl does not seem fazed by this in the slightest. She's just like, sorry, mom.

Jonny (55:47.178) Yeah, she's like, oh, dad, it's fine.

Bryan! (55:48.818) know, it gives me the impression that like this is this is just trauma response because like this is her life with this guy. Yeah, it's another day with dad stabbing an orange right in front of me.

Aileen (55:54.055) Oh yeah.

Jonny (55:54.646) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (55:57.842) No

Jonny (56:00.01) For me, the craziest thing about this was the fact that he stabs the orange, he gives it a good twist, and it's literally just dripping onto his shirt. I was like, this drives me absolutely insane.

Bryan! (56:08.218) Oh god. All I also got kind of hung up on that. I'm like, god, his hands must be so sticky.

Aileen (56:10.084) NUTS

Jonny (56:15.446) Oh my God, it's all over you. It's not coming out. It smells delightful and fresh, but it's going to just smell like that forever. It's in there.

Aileen (56:15.869) UGH

Bryan! (56:23.651) Yeah.

Dave! (56:23.95) But you know what? This begs the question, what does crazy look like in Israel? Is it this?

Aileen (56:24.113) Yeah.

Jonny (56:29.803) Wow.

Aileen (56:31.259) Maybe oranges is some kind of like, there's some message behind it. I leave you. Yeah, yeah, no.

Bryan! (56:37.038) IDF code. I'm gonna cut that out. That's terrible. All right. So now there's a doctor in scrubs standing way too close to Susan while she's on the phone.

Jonny (56:37.374) Mmmm

Dave! (56:42.898) No, don't. I will not count out to the Internet.

Aileen (56:44.863) KEEP IT!

Dave! (56:54.022) This. So this is Boaz Davidson, but also this feels like a key appeal skit. Because he just fucking creeps, he just appears behind her like a like a phantom.

Bryan! (57:00.245) He does.

Jonny (57:01.436) Oh.

Bryan! (57:06.03) Yep, it's the old cartoon, old cartoons plural.

Aileen (57:07.947) That, yes, I literally wrote, this is where I was like, it finally kicked in my body. I was like, why is everyone a creep in this hospital?

Dave! (57:10.478) Thanks for watching!

Dave! (57:18.422) Yeah, why is everybody menacing in this movie?

Bryan! (57:19.258) Yeah. Because also, behind them, there's a person who appears to be wrapped head to toe in bandages, like laying face down on a stretcher while somebody comforts them. They get like a little bit of blood on the bandage. If you pay attention, this movie has a lot of crazy bullshit happening in the margins.

Jonny (57:19.761) Oh

Jonny (57:31.682) Ehh!

Dave! (57:35.115) Yes.

Aileen (57:35.524) The background people are insane.

Jonny (57:35.999) Yes.

Dave! (57:39.658) Yeah, the environmental storytelling in this movie is way better than the actual plot and none of it is ever explained.

Aileen (57:43.723) Yes! Never.

Bryan! (57:46.495) It's like, have you guys ever seen threads or the day after? Yeah, it's like the hospital scenes in those movies where there's just like horribly, horribly hurt people just milling around like zombies. Yeah.

Dave! (57:49.794) That is what I said to you earlier today.

Jonny (57:51.446) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (57:58.562) that everybody just wandered in from the wasteland to be in this movie. So I think what he's doing here, I think this is kind of a nod to the William Castle scene in Rosemary's Baby, where he's standing outside the phone booth.

Jonny (58:03.167) Wow.

Aileen (58:03.499) Absolutely.

Bryan! (58:12.458) Oh, well, no, you know what this is? Is this is just him. He thinks he's making a Hitchcock movie, and this is him doing a Hitchcock. This is his Hitchcock cameo. Yeah.

Dave! (58:16.694) That's what I mean is like, I think this is sort of his cameo in this. But he just he just reads like, like a comedy skit like what is this? Because he's looking at her like he wants to hit her.

Aileen (58:16.991) Hmm.

Jonny (58:18.081) No. Sure.

Aileen (58:22.027) Sure.

Bryan! (58:28.238) That's gotta be part of it too, cause like a lot of the quality, yeah, cause the quality of his comedies is zany. Like he doesn't do like, it's goofy, like pie in the face, seltzer bottles and shit, like people slipping on banana peels.

Aileen (58:34.407) Yes.

Aileen (58:41.472) Slapsticky.

Dave! (58:43.038) Yep. Okay, so he I watched an interview with him today. And he essentially is he gives off this impression he well he says more or less like I have made nothing but comedies until this point. I had never made a horror movie was like but I like horror movies. I just had never made one. But I had always made comedies. And he said when the movie premiered at can let that sink in for a minute. When the movie won the movie.

Aileen (58:44.81) Yeah.

Aileen (59:06.09) What?

Jonny (59:08.214) Wow.

Bryan! (59:08.33) Oh yeah, can, weird crazy crap. Like there's more bullshit that plays at can than good stuff.

Aileen (59:08.651) Thanks for watching!

Aileen (59:14.635) My goodness. Are you on fire, Dave? Ah-

Dave! (59:18.163) I think so.

Dave! (59:22.334) Is our house burning down? Well, I guess we're about to find out somehow. You can cut that out if you want.

Jonny (59:26.504) Hahaha

Aileen (59:27.615) I'm sorry.

Bryan! (59:27.706) Hahaha

Bryan! (59:33.986) No, I'm leaving that in.

Jonny (59:34.013) Please don't.

Aileen (59:34.451) KEEP IT! KEEP IT!

Dave! (59:34.738) I'm really bad at it too. This is podcasting, everybody. I'm in it till I die. So he's saying that he's, you know, with they win the POM D'Or can and he they don't. I'm kidding. Didn't.

Bryan! (59:37.058) Yeah, this is this is this is yeah, this is podcast. This is podcast very Tay.

Jonny (59:42.166) Hahaha

Jonny (59:50.998) Can you imagine?

Aileen (59:52.063) For a brief moment I was like, Eileen, did you hear that correctly? Yeah.

Dave! (59:55.146) But the joke felt so flat that I felt like I had to correct it a little bit. And I was just like, everybody knows it's not really what happened.

Bryan! (59:58.458) Ha ha!

Aileen (59:59.388) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bryan! (01:00:00.934) Well, no, because for a moment I was like, maybe? Ha ha ha.

Aileen (01:00:04.38) You never know.

Dave! (01:00:05.782) No, no. So he says that some guy came up to him like someone he knew and was just like, Oh, hey, I just saw your movie. So funny. You were killing it every time. And he was just like, What do you mean? It was funny. It was a horror movie. And I think the problem is that he's so he's so comedy focused that even when he does a horror movie, he can't quite shake that like how to make another kind of movie, he just knows how to make this one type of movie, because there is something

Jonny (01:00:17.834) Wow.

Dave! (01:00:32.686) very, very funny about this movie. And I think it is in the timing of everything. Like he just glides up behind her on the phone, like, hello lady. And it's just kind of like, I don't know why, but I find this funny as hell.

Aileen (01:00:48.512) It's just in his bones. That's it. He can't shake it

Dave! (01:00:50.378) Yeah. I mean, he is a jokester.

Jonny (01:00:53.054) reason for me this entire scene has been completely disappeared from my brain it is just disappeared entirely I I'm like what is everybody talking about because I do not remember this moment

Dave! (01:00:58.814) Oh, I just, I don't know how. It's so bizarre.

Aileen (01:00:59.939) It's very fast.

Dave! (01:01:06.958) But you know what, they're so rapid fire that you just, you can't keep them all in there when it's just, it's like politics today where you're like, I can't focus on one horrible thing that's happening because all the horrible things are happening all at once.

Jonny (01:01:17.402) It's just too much. Yes.

Aileen (01:01:19.687) It's true.

Bryan! (01:01:21.678) Yeah. So now, elsewhere, a dude with a walker stalks up to her, spends a good 30 seconds just staring at her. And she walks away to find a room full of dudes hooked up to IVs and oxygen who all struggle to breathe. And we're basically just taking a tour of hell right now.

Jonny (01:01:29.334) Oh my god.

Aileen (01:01:35.387) Now this is...

Aileen (01:01:39.147) Also, at this point, I also, literally my following note after, why is everyone a creep in this hospital? My next note is, why is everyone a man? Everybody she meets in a span of like 40 minutes is a weird creepo man.

Jonny (01:01:39.208) Yes.

Bryan! (01:01:49.471) Ha ha!

Dave! (01:01:50.626) Yes.

Dave! (01:01:55.39) And not just that, they're like mangled to shit as well. They look like they just got hit by a fucking truck. And yet they still want to rape her.

Aileen (01:01:58.572) Yeah.

Jonny (01:01:59.422) Yes.

Bryan! (01:02:01.93) Yep. So now. So now Susan is then directed to the doctor's lounge to find her doctor by another doctor who then anxiously clutches a surgical cap and mask as she walks away.

Aileen (01:02:02.076) Yeah.

Aileen (01:02:05.425) Exactly.

Jonny (01:02:16.551) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:02:17.362) Is this when she has to go find, she has to find her own doctor and they're like, I don't know, did you check the doctor's lounge? And I was like, why would she check the doctor's lounge? She doesn't fucking work here.

Bryan! (01:02:25.786) No, it's like if we were a student and we walked into the teacher's lounge. You just don't do that.

Aileen (01:02:26.053) Yeah, the-

Aileen (01:02:31.195) You don't do it as much as you want to

Jonny (01:02:31.806) literally.

Dave! (01:02:32.73) All because she just wants her test results.

Bryan! (01:02:36.686) Yeah, so in the lounge, Susan meets the only normal doctor in the hospital, Harold. He's going to help her find the doctor. Out in the hall, they're passed by a dude on a stretcher doing the Jacob's Ladder shaky head thing on their way to Dr. Jacobs office.

Aileen (01:02:41.882) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:02:51.423) Did you also... You go, Johnny.

Jonny (01:02:51.911) Wait, I'm...

Go, go, go. No, I just, did he really say my name is Harold? Did he really say that and I just missed it? Oh, okay. I mean, still, still close enough. Like I should have known, but I really, I cannot believe that I missed that. I cannot believe.

Dave! (01:02:59.722) He says his name is Harry.

Bryan! (01:03:01.826) Yeah, and so she calls him Harry.

Aileen (01:03:02.482) Okay.

Bryan! (01:03:09.286) Ahahaha

Aileen (01:03:10.879) By that point, I was so upset by the creeps and the men in this hospital that I had forgotten the name of the child in the beginning. So when this person was like, hello, I'm Harry, I was like, oh great, a person named Harry. And then, and then.

Bryan! (01:03:18.255) Ha ha ha.

Jonny (01:03:19.35) Absolutely.

Jonny (01:03:24.23) Right. And honestly, like, kind of friendly too. Yeah, he's not being that much of a fucking creepy asshole. So you're like, ah!

Bryan! (01:03:25.122) And he's not, and he's not insane.

Aileen (01:03:29.02) Yeah!

Dave! (01:03:30.506) Well, I know. I mean, my notes, my note literally says, why is every patient in this hospital a raving lunatic or a mangled hobo?

Bryan! (01:03:37.774) Yeah.

Aileen (01:03:38.128) Yeah.

Jonny (01:03:38.659) Yeah.

Dave! (01:03:39.83) Like, and that's why as soon as you see a friendly, normal person, you're like, oh, thank fucking God. Not for long though.

Bryan! (01:03:44.422) Yep. So yeah, when they find her, when they find her charts, Dr. Harold looks suddenly very concerned. He had

Jonny (01:03:45.227) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:03:45.675) Exactly. Uh-huh.

Dave! (01:03:52.222) Well first he has to read off all the other names violating HIPAA along the way.

Bryan! (01:03:57.774) Yeah, he has to get he has to get another is to get another doctor to look at them before they go looking for one. So out in the hall, there's a girl on a bench just doubled over limply.

Aileen (01:03:57.939) serious

Jonny (01:03:58.966) Bye!

Dave! (01:04:06.306) Hmm?

Aileen (01:04:06.339) What the fuck is going on here on this day? I literally said, this person out there is flopped over, is she okay? Like, what is wrong?

Dave! (01:04:10.23) Good.

Dave! (01:04:15.666) And yet, and yet Susan is completely unfazed by all of this. She just lights up a cigarette and just smokes away in the hospital.

Aileen (01:04:21.519) Everything.

Bryan! (01:04:24.746) I mean, I wonder what like I wonder what the hallways at like her office must look like I mean I imagine if she's this nonplussed by this stuff. There's just people acting crazy at wherever it is that she works

Jonny (01:04:25.214) The 80s, man, listen.

Aileen (01:04:35.855) Oh man, seems like it.

Jonny (01:04:36.79) Also, Barbie Benton is not a smoker, and you can so clearly tell by the way she like, dishandedly holds that cigarette. Oh, absolutely. And I was like, who's choice? Was this Barbie's choice? Was this Boaz's choice? Who told her she needs to smoke these cigarettes? Yeah, he's like, you need to... But she, like, this woman smokes. She is a fucking chain smoker in this film.

Dave! (01:04:40.908) Yes.

Aileen (01:04:41.187) It drove me crazy.

Dave! (01:04:44.822) Yeah, if you've ever been a smoker, you can see it every single time because it's so awkward.

Bryan! (01:04:48.022) It's yeah.

Dave! (01:04:53.898) I'm gonna go with Boaz on this one.

Bryan! (01:04:55.727) Yeah.

Aileen (01:04:55.999) I'm gonna agree.

Bryan! (01:05:03.586) She she really does she gives Dan Haggerty a run for his money in elves where there's a cigarette in his hand in every scene.

Aileen (01:05:08.136) Hehehe

Dave! (01:05:08.462) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:05:10.79) Oh my gosh, yeah.

Dave! (01:05:11.726) Well, it has that feeling of like, well, what's American? What's American? Cigarettes and Coca-Cola, go.

Aileen (01:05:16.651) Sure.

Jonny (01:05:16.786) Like Marlboro Red, just like these strong ass cigarettes. Woo, damn.

Dave! (01:05:19.159) Yeah.

Aileen (01:05:19.988) No, barf.

Bryan! (01:05:23.745) They, you know, at least they let her have the filtered versions.

Dave! (01:05:26.134) I would have wanted like a Virginia slim, like the ones that were the big color, capris that were like the long colored ones.

Aileen (01:05:26.298) Yeah, I'm right.

Jonny (01:05:28.862) Yes! Absolutely! Oh my... Yes...

Aileen (01:05:29.955) That would have been fierce, fierce mama. Put it out on your fucking, the bottom of your cream heel bitch.

Dave! (01:05:40.502) That's also going in our new theme song. Or I'm just getting a t-shirt that says that.

Jonny (01:05:43.104) haha

Bryan! (01:05:44.362) No, that's... that's going on the new merch. Put it out on your cream-heel bitch. So...

Jonny (01:05:47.391) Yeah.

Dave! (01:05:48.598) That's the t-shirt.

Jonny (01:05:52.826) Hehe

Dave! (01:05:55.166) I think I was saying earlier today, I was talking to my boyfriend about this and I said, you know, one of the things I really love is Eileen's casual use of a hoe.

Bryan! (01:06:03.523) Ha ha!

Jonny (01:06:03.758) Oh yeah. Left and right.

Aileen (01:06:03.931) Dude, I love dropping a hoe left and right. It's one of my faves.

Dave! (01:06:10.646) Because I write for a podcast that has a very wide listenership. And if anybody ever said anything like that, oh my God, the internet would come for us all with pitchforks and torches.

Bryan! (01:06:10.776) So now...

Aileen (01:06:16.432) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:06:22.57) Fired.

Aileen (01:06:26.267) Oh my god.

Jonny (01:06:26.584) Wow.

Bryan! (01:06:27.206) The internet is on their shit for like the littlest thing anyways, yeah.

Dave! (01:06:30.666) Yeah, they'll be like, you mispronounced this word. And I'll be like, oh my God, get a life. I hate you so much. Definitely cut that part out.

Aileen (01:06:32.039) store.

Jonny (01:06:37.462) I'm going to go ahead and turn it off.

Bryan! (01:06:37.534) Yep. So Harry introduces Susan to Dr. Saxon, but we're introduced to Dr. Saxon first as he's taking off a surgical cap and mask for some reason, stuffing them in a drawer with a scalpel with it. He

Aileen (01:06:37.558) Oh my god, everybody relax!

Jonny (01:06:48.694) Hmm.

Jonny (01:06:54.212) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:06:56.094) Now, which one is Dr. Sacks? It's hard to know because every man in this movie is such an aggressive asshole. He's the one that's like indignant for no reason.

Bryan! (01:07:00.342) Okay. So he's the most aggressive asshole that she's going to be stuck with for the rest of the movie. Yeah, he, like everybody else in this movie, is a goddamn nightmare. Just another extremely intense weirdo in a hospital full of extremely intense weirdos. So Dr. Harry has Dr. Saxon look at the charts and he has a similar reaction of shock, but no one will ever tell you what's wrong with the charts.

Aileen (01:07:02.687) Yeah.

Aileen (01:07:07.725) Yes, that one.

Dave! (01:07:12.223) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:07:12.475) Is it?

Aileen (01:07:17.262) Yeah.

Dave! (01:07:25.17) This is when you get that real soap opera acting though.

Aileen (01:07:28.363) Now, can we talk about the x-rays? Because when they hold up the diseased x-rays...

Jonny (01:07:28.593) Wow.

Bryan! (01:07:39.011) It looks like she's got an alien inside of her.

Dave! (01:07:40.962) Yeah.

Aileen (01:07:41.275) She's filled with snakes. She is like T to B filled with snakes. And I was like, okay, if I was in a room and had seen a doctor, because she sees it and he lifts my x-ray and suddenly I just see snakes in my body.

Jonny (01:07:41.594) It does!

Yes.

Bryan! (01:07:45.374) Laughter

Aileen (01:08:07.183) I'd be like, can somebody talk to me right now? I need to know.

Bryan! (01:08:09.994) Is, is, is that normal?

Dave! (01:08:10.227) No.

Dave! (01:08:14.155) No!

Aileen (01:08:14.223) Yeah, am I okay? Cause it seems as though a nest of snakes has taken hold of my innards.

Dave! (01:08:16.683) And every time...

Bryan! (01:08:22.703) Yep.

Dave! (01:08:22.75) Every time they're just like, I need to get another consultation about this. And she's just like, and so she just lights up a cigarette and waits it out again.

Aileen (01:08:26.619) Exactly, fuck you! Exactly, another mall burrow.

Bryan! (01:08:32.758) So now while Dr. Saxon is out looking for Dr. Jacobs, Susan calls her ex's place again and learns that he's gone, leaving her daughter all by herself, which is pretty normal shit for the 80s.

Dave! (01:08:43.754) And then she says, she says, she says, don't open the door for anybody. And the little girl sounds so disappointed when she says that. Like she's just like, I guess I'll hang out by myself again.

Aileen (01:08:44.095) I mean.

Jonny (01:08:44.574) Absolutely.

Aileen (01:08:51.697) Okay.

Bryan! (01:08:53.483) Yeah.

Jonny (01:08:54.27) Ha ha ha!

Bryan! (01:08:57.574) Yeah. So yeah. And now they're like I said, they're doing this whole whodunit thing up to this. It's easily the most movies arbitrary, the movie's most arbitrary quality. The movie opens on this childhood drama. Yeah, I said we got this shit. I'm just gonna skip that. We'll fucking cut that. But anyways, Dr. Saxon sends two extremely intense menacing nurses.

Aileen (01:08:58.754) Mooo

Aileen (01:09:08.9) If you say so Brian

Jonny (01:09:15.051) Yeah.

Dave! (01:09:17.854) Oh, but wait, before that, you forgot to mention that while she's on the phone, she's just sort of looking over the wall and it's nothing but framed photographs of diseased organs and limbs?

Bryan! (01:09:26.954) Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's like she's at Crispin Glover's house.

Dave! (01:09:30.41) Oh, it is it is just and y'all for it for anybody who for anyone who's confused about that reference Crispin Glover for some reason has a collection of D diseased model eyes at his house. Yeah.

Aileen (01:09:32.4) Oh my God.

Jonny (01:09:32.534) Oh my god. Somebody get that handsome moisturizer.

Jonny (01:09:44.882) Ew! Wait, like in his actual home? Ew.

Dave! (01:09:48.818) Yes. Yeah.

Bryan! (01:09:49.527) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:09:51.035) You know, the only reason that isn't so bonkers to me is because you look at Guillermo del Toro, who has a fucking model of Reagan in his living room, sitting and watching television with you. So like, if Crispin Glover wants a fucking eyeball collection, I'm okay.

Dave! (01:10:15.894) If eyes makes Christian Glover feel good, then he should have those.

Aileen (01:10:20.434) Yeah!

Jonny (01:10:20.822) I feel like I would have a statue of Reagan in my living room watching TV with me. Like that's like movie, you know, iconography, but to have like a diseased eyeball just staring at you from the walls. I'm judging Crispin Glover. I really am, or Crispin, Christian Glover. Crispin Glover has been judged.

Aileen (01:10:24.579) You absolutely would, Jonathan.

Bryan! (01:10:26.726) Oh my God, I am.

Dave! (01:10:34.698) Okay, listen though, you know what? You have Reagan in your living room.

Dave! (01:10:44.231) You put Reagan in the living room. When you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and you walk through the living room.

Jonny (01:10:49.854) Oh, a nightmare, a nightmare. I would deeply regret my choices in the middle of the night, absolutely. I'd be like, this thing needs to be taken outside and burned immediately.

Aileen (01:10:50.735) Bitch! I'm a f- No!

Dave! (01:10:51.785) Mm-mm.

Yeah, immediately.

Bryan! (01:10:58.699) No, no regrets.

Aileen (01:10:58.791) Guillermo del Toro, Guillermo del Toro's like, come over for a sleepover. And everybody's like, I'm cool, GDT. No thanks.

Dave! (01:11:06.838) Mm-mm.

Bryan! (01:11:08.533) Now I am so jealous of his house.

Jonny (01:11:09.938) Yeah. Oh, can you imagine? That'd be amazing.

Aileen (01:11:10.956) I know, it's so cool.

Bryan! (01:11:15.999) Alright, so Dr. Saxon sends two extremely intense menacing nurses for Susan who deliver here to him for-

Dave! (01:11:21.77) I love them because these bitches are so intense for no reason. How did anybody get a job here?

Jonny (01:11:27.402) I also love them. I'm especially obsessed with that redhead, who's just like, calm down, yes. I am obsessed with her. Also, they're beautiful. They are stunning, gorgeous women, these actresses. Holy shit, everybody's gorgeous around here.

Aileen (01:11:34.227) The tall one?

Dave! (01:11:36.21) Yes, I love her.

Bryan! (01:11:37.379) Mm hmm. Yeah. So.

Dave! (01:11:44.75) Hmm?

Bryan! (01:11:47.822) So she's obviously incensed by this madness, and he's insulted that she'd call these tests a mere formality since all of this is happening because she'd been promoted at work and needs some health certificate to qualify for her new insurance. He has her undressed behind a partition and then immediately removes the gown so that she's nude while he takes her blood pressure and shit. You know, examinations that require you to be bare ass naked. It's just

Dave! (01:12:06.142) Yes. Yep.

Jonny (01:12:11.658) He literally says undress.

Aileen (01:12:11.761) LITERALLY

Bryan! (01:12:15.223) Mm-hmm. It's just people being just being regular and normal.

Dave! (01:12:16.284) No.

Jonny (01:12:16.566) I was like, call the authorities.

Dave! (01:12:19.85) Yeah, I'm no doctor, but I don't think this is part of it.

Aileen (01:12:24.427) He takes the gown off of her and then puts his stethoscope in and puts the flat part on her back which was already open from the gown being open. I was like, sir, you didn't need to make me show my tits for this.

Jonny (01:12:36.434) You idiot. Oh my God.

Bryan! (01:12:40.76) Yep.

Jonny (01:12:40.95) He might as well have put that stethoscope on her nipple. I was like, this is assault. Sir, this is assault.

Bryan! (01:12:49.211) Yeah. The only reason he's getting away with it is because he's a doctor.

Dave! (01:12:50.083) It doesn't make any sense. None of this makes any sense anymore. My note says, why is any of this happening?

Aileen (01:12:52.709) Yeah!

Jonny (01:12:53.494) Oh my god.

Aileen (01:12:57.379) Yeah, this examination is so creepy is what I wrote.

Jonny (01:12:58.383) Exactly!

Bryan! (01:12:58.424) Then the dude then the dude like rubs her feet and suddenly we're in a Tarantino movie.

Jonny (01:13:01.578) My God.

Dave! (01:13:03.286) Guest!

Aileen (01:13:04.244) What the fuck is that? I was like, sir?

Dave! (01:13:07.262) And later on, he's like squeezing her legs. It's like, I just don't like any of this.

Jonny (01:13:07.78) Yes.

Bryan! (01:13:12.726) Yeah. And then again, like earlier, the music during this scene, by the way, also crazy. It's that really mean, like, Friday the 13th stuff with the string slides, but there's also this kind of like mew, mew sound behind it all. It's just, it's sickening and weird. And also this scene goes on and on and on.

Aileen (01:13:12.833) No, awful.

Jonny (01:13:13.538) Oh my god, no, it's so uncomfortable.

Aileen (01:13:25.719) Yes! Very weird.

Jonny (01:13:29.414) Yeah.

Aileen (01:13:33.825) Hehehe

Dave! (01:13:34.006) that eventually you just feel like you're dying.

Jonny (01:13:34.442) Well, this is where we're celebrating the fact that Barbie Benton is a Playboy gal. You know, they're like, we are going to feature her body, basically. It seems to be just like part of the deal with this horror movie that is starring a Playboy gal. You know what I mean?

Aileen (01:13:36.465) Yeah.

Aileen (01:13:41.896) Yes.

Dave! (01:13:44.374) and

Aileen (01:13:44.455) Yeah.

Dave! (01:13:50.614) And one of the features, the special features, like the director says something like, oh, I was really busy on set that day. And I was just like, gross, man, come on.

Bryan! (01:13:51.027) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:13:57.974) Yeah. So

Jonny (01:13:58.238) Of course it was. Ew. Jesus, V80s, I know.

Aileen (01:13:58.323) Super gross.

Dave! (01:14:00.443) Ah!

Aileen (01:14:02.099) This poor woman.

Dave! (01:14:03.57) She was an actor in your movie. Can you not talk about her like that? Or talk about anybody like that ever just to be safe?

Aileen (01:14:07.732) Ugh. Truly... gross.

Jonny (01:14:08.883) Ew, wow.

Bryan! (01:14:11.47) So things get positively Kafka-esque in the next scene as one of the horrible nurses from before escorting Susan to a hospital room that she has to share with three of the most bizarre people you're gonna find in an already bizarre movie.

Jonny (01:14:23.286) Hello? Oh my gosh. Oh my god.

Aileen (01:14:24.391) Oh. My. God.

Dave! (01:14:27.183) Oh my God. Rah.

Bryan! (01:14:28.994) Yep. So there's an old woman who clacks two spoons together endlessly. There's a transvestite. The transvestite with an overabundance of Catholic icons and shit like rosaries.

Aileen (01:14:34.667) Oh my god.

Dave! (01:14:38.798) Okay, but is that supposed to be a man or, I mean, it is a man playing a woman, but are we supposed to recognize it as a man?

Jonny (01:14:46.358) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:14:51.291) think so. For a brief moment, again, I did not know who the killer was until the minute he was revealed. For a brief moment, I was like, it's, it's her. That man in a wig is him pretending to be an older because I didn't know either. I was like, is, is she supposed to be an old lady? Or is she supposed to be a dude dressed up as an old lady? Either way.

Dave! (01:15:04.63) Wow.

Jonny (01:15:06.411) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:15:17.666) Way to come in hot with the transphobia, Eileen. Real cool. Or who knows? So this is a guy, his name is Jonathan Moore. His only credit on IMDB is this movie.

Aileen (01:15:23.532) Non-binary, they that-

Jonny (01:15:34.422) What the fuck? Okay, well, so these women, I will say, were hired and told they were gonna be in a comedy because that is the performance that these three people are delivering. This is comedy.

Aileen (01:15:34.463) Really?

Dave! (01:15:47.815) Yeah, I mean, these are like the witches from Hamlet or...

Bryan! (01:15:51.162) Yeah, yeah.

Aileen (01:15:51.627) He said witches from Macbeth! The witches from Macbeth!

Jonny (01:15:51.662) It is the weirdest thing.

Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:15:56.354) Macbeth. Is that what's happening? Or like some weird prison gang?

Bryan! (01:16:02.58) I like that, but I'm going with witches from Macbeth.

Aileen (01:16:05.988) At one point, I was like, do they live here? Because their beds have blankets that are crocheted and stuff.

Dave! (01:16:11.53) I guess so?

Jonny (01:16:16.734) Yeah, it's like lived in. Yes.

Dave! (01:16:17.246) Oh yeah, no, they're in for the long haul here. We could spend the next few hours on just these three fucking characters that make no sense.

Aileen (01:16:21.32) Which it-

Jonny (01:16:25.194) Absolutely.

Aileen (01:16:27.083) At one point I did see in the hallway, there was just a small sign that said women's ward. And I'm like, what is this hospital? Like it's, I just.

Bryan! (01:16:39.202) Yeah, yeah.

Dave! (01:16:39.298) So I was thinking about this today, because I was like, wait, maybe it's supposed to be like, is this like a weird transphobia thing where they're like, oh, it's a mental health war, like it's a psychiatric war, and this person's mentally ill. And then I was like, but no, it's not, it's just a hospital.

Jonny (01:16:49.992) you

Aileen (01:16:50.944) Oh, okay.

Jonny (01:16:52.318) I really hope that's not what it was.

Bryan! (01:16:54.018) You know what it is? It's just they're just trying to be surreal. Because like. Yeah. Yeah, like this is the thing is, is there are there are directors who spend their entire careers like chasing this sort of inscrutable vibe. And Boaz Davidson just casually knocks it out of the park with this movie. It is.

Dave! (01:16:57.578) Well, good, they did it. Good job.

Aileen (01:16:57.983) Sure. Success. Nailed it.

Jonny (01:16:58.448) Mmmm

Aileen (01:17:09.426) Mm.

Jonny (01:17:09.62) Mmm.

Aileen (01:17:12.91) Hehehehehehehehe

Jonny (01:17:13.334) Mm-mm.

Dave! (01:17:14.286) He was like, what do you think of that David Lynch? The old hat.

Jonny (01:17:16.95) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:17:17.52) Yeah. So, there's also there's one more woman whose whole thing is she simply stares and scowls. Now, elsewhere, the killer doctor attacks a nurse who's typing up Susan's test results and substitutes them for his own. Following this, the most

Aileen (01:17:22.696) Uh huh.

Dave! (01:17:31.27) Now I wanted to stop and say this is the only person of color in this movie. She's also the only person who's not some fucking troglodyte monster. You kill her off in five seconds.

Aileen (01:17:34.86) Yes.

Jonny (01:17:35.799) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:17:40.424) Truly

Jonny (01:17:40.518) Yes, she's just trying to do her job. She's just trying to do her job.

Aileen (01:17:43.191) She's just, first of all, this is another point where I was like the prop master was totally on like a bunch of acid that day, because he said, you know what, let me put a children's chemistry set all around her as she's typing her reports. B, this woman is so beautiful. She is so beautiful. And then this interaction she has with her like other friend notes that comes in is like,

Dave! (01:17:56.386) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:18:03.039) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:18:03.67) God, she's a stunner.

Aileen (01:18:11.859) Hey Jackie, would you want to grab some coffee? And she's like, I just got to finish these reports, hun. She's like, you know what? I'll bring you something. I was like, look at these lovely, kind, sweet coworkers, just being sweet.

Jonny (01:18:22.382) Right? Like a random, lovely moment where you're just like, I want these two to live and absolutely not. Yeah.

Dave! (01:18:26.124) The only one, the only one you're going to get, the only reprieve.

Aileen (01:18:26.307) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:18:30.565) Yep. No, no, they will be punished for their kindness.

Jonny (01:18:33.093) quickly, brutally murdered.

Aileen (01:18:33.107) Truly, truly, yeah.

Dave! (01:18:34.99) And then she gets killed with a broken kitchen knife that is for some reason in the hospital children's lab.

Aileen (01:18:41.266) I mean...

Bryan! (01:18:42.461) Yeah. Yep. So yeah.

Dave! (01:18:43.57) I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else in this movie does.

Aileen (01:18:45.707) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (01:18:46.454) Yeah, so following this, the most meaningless misdirect in the entire movie happens. Dr. Harold, who just killed this woman, but we don't know that, comes in.

Dave! (01:18:55.102) Yeah, no, this part, if you actually, if you're really paying attention and you know who the killer is, none of this is even possible, what happens here.

Bryan! (01:19:02.786) He comes in, snatches them up after he just dropped them, and delivers them to Dr. Saxon. And the two of them, plus another doctor, all dramatically lit from below, like it's some kind of B-movie noir. Remark on the symptoms, which are dire.

Aileen (01:19:03.071) Sure.

Jonny (01:19:03.526) you

Aileen (01:19:13.663) Yeah.

Dave! (01:19:15.69) Yeah, they were like anacondas, right?

Bryan! (01:19:19.776) These are desert ass.

Aileen (01:19:20.041) Right, a nest of cobras, don't you think?

Dave! (01:19:23.402) It's like that writhing it's anaconda is anaconda or anaconda to where it's the writhing pit of like snake. And it's like, that is the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. That's what they're seeing.

Jonny (01:19:29.823) Yes, anacondas!

Aileen (01:19:30.06) Yeah.

Aileen (01:19:34.751) Totally.

Jonny (01:19:35.242) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:19:35.94) Yeah. So now back

Dave! (01:19:36.558) And everybody, just a reminder, she just came in to pick up her test results. Seven hours ago.

Aileen (01:19:40.68) That's it.

Jonny (01:19:40.822) Oh my God. Yes.

Aileen (01:19:44.1) Yeah

Bryan! (01:19:44.188) So back in the office when the nurse was just killed, one of her friends shows up finds the dead body and then runs out in a panic where she's intercepted by the killer doctor again, who murders her with a stethoscope before haphazardly dumping her corpse in one of the nearby rooms.

Aileen (01:19:59.703) on a wheelchair, putting her on a wheelchair and just chucking her into a room. I was like, wow, okay.

Dave! (01:20:01.75) Yeah. Yup.

Bryan! (01:20:06.178) He's like me returning the fucking grocery carts to the little pen.

Aileen (01:20:09.999) Exactly. Target, take this! Shove it into the place.

Bryan! (01:20:13.606) ..

Dave! (01:20:13.678) CLOSE ENOUGH!

Bryan! (01:20:16.61) So Dr. Saxon informed Susan that the results are pretty serious and that she'll have to stick around for a few days.

Aileen (01:20:22.711) Wait, is this the moment where she says, is it serious? No. Is it serious? Yeah, it might be.

Dave! (01:20:23.988) Test, just pay him to get test results.

Bryan! (01:20:25.818) Ha ha ha!

Aileen (01:20:39.724) I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it

Bryan! (01:20:41.25) Yeah, and then her roommates begin like remarking on her condition as like she's not even there. They're like...

Jonny (01:20:42.082) Oh my god.

Dave! (01:20:47.562) Yeah, it's a real like one of us moment where they're just like, what is happening?

Bryan! (01:20:51.386) Yeah, her organs are rotten and her blood is stagnant like slime. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Jonny (01:20:52.842) other lane.

Aileen (01:20:58.719) Toil, toil, burnt and boil.

Jonny (01:20:59.086) The Witches from Macbeth? Yes. Yeah.

Dave! (01:21:00.458) Yeah. Oh my God.

Bryan! (01:21:05.112) So, uh yeah, uh she bails on this horrible situation, runs into Doctor Harry, who takes her to Doctor Jacob's office to show her files.

Dave! (01:21:13.162) And he says, just, just be cool. This is kind of irregular. Like, what? None of this is cool, man. You're holding this woman hostage. You've already violated HIPAA left and right. People are getting killed here. You've got these three witches living in your hospital.

Bryan! (01:21:20.381) Yeah.

Aileen (01:21:21.12) None of it.

Dave! (01:21:31.35) Nothing makes sense.

Aileen (01:21:33.381) Truly.

Bryan! (01:21:33.537) Well, so while they're there, they hide from a doctor in a cap and mask who pokes his head into the room. And now Dr. Harry assures her that she's fine and that someone is fucking with her. She just has to go back to her room and chill out.

Aileen (01:21:44.863) Don't you worry, baby. When he said that, I was like, excuse me, you're very familiar with me, Dr. Harry. I'm ill, there are snakes in my body. Can somebody tell me what is going on?

Jonny (01:21:45.413) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:21:47.758) Oh

Bryan! (01:21:52.838) Yeah.

Dave! (01:21:54.99) I'm sorry.

Jonny (01:21:57.397) Hahaha

Bryan! (01:21:59.988) So now while all this is taking place, all these hours that Susan has been stuck in the hospital from hell, her boyfriend has just been out in the car sleeping.

Dave! (01:22:07.054) Sweeping.

Aileen (01:22:08.147) Toad! He would have been toad by now, guys. He's literally in the area where the fucking ambulances are supposed to park and he's just sleeping there, he would have been toad!

Bryan! (01:22:11.075) Yep.

Bryan! (01:22:19.579) He finally won't be.

Dave! (01:22:19.726) And does he not ever wonder where she went? Why she's been gone for six hours?

Bryan! (01:22:22.57) I know. Well, yeah, he's about to and what he ends up saying is like it's been two hours and I'm like, buddy, it's been longer than two hours.

Aileen (01:22:22.591) Seriously.

Dave! (01:22:30.518) And if this all happened in two hours...

Aileen (01:22:30.635) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:22:32.923) In a movie of idiots, this is the idiot. Like, this man is a fucking idiot.

Bryan! (01:22:35.226) Hahaha

Aileen (01:22:37.383) Yeah, totally.

Dave! (01:22:38.03) That's why when she gets killed, like he gets killed, she's not even really that faced by it. She's like, hmm, well, how much longer could this have gone on?

Aileen (01:22:43.368) Well...

Bryan! (01:22:43.63) Ha ha!

Jonny (01:22:44.323) Yeah, I shouldn't have gotten engaged. That's fine

Bryan! (01:22:47.808) So he finally wakes up and he goes to see what's going on. He runs into more of the world's most intense medical professionals who are crazy rude to him.

Dave! (01:22:55.498) And they all, they're just like, she can't receive visitors. And I thought, why does everybody in this hospital know exactly what's going on with her?

Aileen (01:23:02.276) Uh-huh.

Bryan! (01:23:02.486) Yeah. Yep. So while somebody took the charts, it was like, get a load of this, she got snakes up in her.

Jonny (01:23:03.038) Hehehehehehehehe

Dave! (01:23:04.45) What is happening?

Jonny (01:23:09.39) haha

Aileen (01:23:09.607) Yeah. You wouldn't believe what I saw in her x-rays.

Bryan! (01:23:14.278) But yeah.

Dave! (01:23:14.914) Listen, I was a social worker for 10 years. That is exactly what is happening.

Jonny (01:23:18.518) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (01:23:20.434) So while all this is taking place all these hours that Susan's been stuck in the hospital from hell her boyfriend been oh, I just did that part. Yeah, he finds Susan in her. Yeah, just give me a spot so now I'll know what to cut out. Anyways, he finds he finds Susan in her room, and the two of them make to leave, but just as they're about to get in the elevator out walks Dr.

Dave! (01:23:29.13) They blew it!

Yeah.

Bryan! (01:23:49.39) So now while he waits, he gets a call on the courtesy phone. The caller directs him to the ninth floor where in the murky fog of all the fumigation chemicals, he runs into the three ladies from Susan's room just wandering around the fog together.

Jonny (01:23:55.227) You idiot.

Dave! (01:24:02.106) Why are these people just wandering around like this?

Aileen (01:24:03.577) This is a waking nightmare. I-

Jonny (01:24:09.002) Absolutely.

Bryan! (01:24:09.823) truly a scene from hell. And also there's a whole character that I have completely neglected to mention and it's that drunk guy from the elevator. He keeps showing up. And if anybody in this movie deserves to have been murdered, it was, it's that he survives.

Dave! (01:24:23.423) And he doesn't.

Jonny (01:24:26.998) I actually have a question about that because I'm pretty sure it's at this moment when this idiot fiance is going up the stairs, he walks into drunk man, a drunk hamburger man, and the dude is like super swayed, but then he stands up straight and I was like, oh, he's not drunk? He's not actually drunk in this hospital. Is that where we're establishing here? Is this the truth? Did anybody else catch this?

Aileen (01:24:50.395) Or maybe they, maybe he thought that they yelled cut and they actually hadn't.

Jonny (01:24:56.674) I'm... Yeah!

Dave! (01:24:57.354) He was like, I'll yell cut. I call cut on this set.

Aileen (01:24:59.08) Yeah.

Jonny (01:24:59.294) I mean, I think it honestly was just another like red herring thing where they're like, ah, he's not actually drunk. He is the killer. Burger finger.

Aileen (01:25:05.535) Did anybody notice that he was wearing a clip-on tie on his hospital gown?

Dave! (01:25:12.406) Yes, yes, because my note says, why is he wearing a tie?

Bryan! (01:25:12.614) Hahaha, yeah.

Jonny (01:25:13.331) Yes.

Bryan! (01:25:16.122) Because he's also wearing pajamas.

Jonny (01:25:16.743) Yes.

Aileen (01:25:18.955) I know, but to me I was just like, oh, he clipped it onto the collar of his hospital gown. What a fucking weirdo.

Jonny (01:25:20.022) Bye.

Jonny (01:25:25.11) Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:25:26.51) And I think, are they confusing a hospital with a Victorian-era prison? What is happening?

Bryan! (01:25:26.585) So when

Jonny (01:25:29.49) With a... Right, or like a mental ward or some shit? What is happening?

Bryan! (01:25:31.155) Oh God.

Aileen (01:25:34.411) Again, it's wild.

Bryan! (01:25:37.166) Yeah. You know, I wonder if it has anything to do with that like Geraldo thing that was still kind of in everybody's the state school on Staten Island. Yeah. Cuz cuz it's got a lot of that. Yes.

Jonny (01:25:43.068) Huh?

Dave! (01:25:43.858) Oh, the, uh, the titty cut Follies stuff.

Jonny (01:25:48.464) Yes.

Aileen (01:25:48.827) Is that Cropsy? Remember Cropsy? Yeah, that's Horrible

Dave! (01:25:50.93) Yes. Yep. That's what that that's what Geraldo's thing.

Jonny (01:25:52.618) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:25:55.222) Yeah. So, when Jack finally arrives to the room he was directed to, room 911, never forget, he finds a dramatically...

Dave! (01:26:03.862) I- that was my exact thought when I saw that. I was like, room 911, never forget. You tacky motherfucker.

Aileen (01:26:08.827) Never forget It's a good one

Bryan! (01:26:12.142) couldn't resist. So he finds a dramatically, dramatically lit partition, and now a voice behind it, presumably emanating from the body in a wheelchair behind the partition, invites Jack to come closer, which he does for some reason. So so he

Jonny (01:26:24.202) You fucking idiot. What are we doing?

Dave! (01:26:26.102) Yep, you get off the you get off on the foggy ninth floor, you make your way to whatever room this is a voice from behind a curtain a person who looks to be in a wheelchair, start saying some weird creepy shit to you and you're like, what's that?

Aileen (01:26:26.801) Idiot.

Jonny (01:26:29.962) Oh my god.

Bryan! (01:26:36.89) He's like, he's like, does she let you touch her in her special place? I'm like, get the fuck away from here.

Jonny (01:26:37.534) Yeah. Yeah, let me get closer. Wow.

Dave! (01:26:42.558) No, no, it was it's not her. It's hers in all her secret places. And I thought, they're not that secret, though.

Jonny (01:26:43.772) Oh my god.

Ah! How dare you. Not to this fucking doctor.

Bryan! (01:26:49.96) No, I mean we just saw him. No.

Aileen (01:26:52.255) Do not refer to my places as secret. Thank you.

Bryan! (01:26:54.854) HAHA

Jonny (01:26:56.85) I'm sorry.

Dave! (01:26:57.858) All of them, all of your secret places.

Bryan! (01:26:58.086) No, no, see, see. Here's the thing. I'm usually pretty forgiving of people making dumb decisions in horror movies. People do dumb all the time. They make bad decisions constantly. There's no horror movies without bad decisions, but this one, there is absolutely no reason for Jack to check out whatever is happening in that room. It's just hissing and whispering all these inappropriate questions. Dude should have noped the back out to the 8th floor, taking his girl, get the ** out of there, but he's gonna go check

Aileen (01:27:00.296) my secret.

Aileen (01:27:08.715) It's true.

Aileen (01:27:26.311) thousand percent.

Bryan! (01:27:27.554) He's gonna go check out what that scary bullshit is that's happening over there, and he's going to pay dearly for it. Yeah.

Jonny (01:27:31.734) Yeah. Yes.

Aileen (01:27:33.376) Oh, you idiot. You sweet, stupid idiot.

Bryan! (01:27:37.438) When he comes around to see who's behind the partition, finds the body of one of the nurses dead, and then the killer doctor attacks him with a bone saw. Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:27:46.108) Mm hmm. Yep, meanwhile, back in the World War II hospital.

Aileen (01:27:46.175) Hehehe

Bryan! (01:27:49.276) Hahaha

Aileen (01:27:50.848) Uh, Susan is smoking a cigarette.

Dave! (01:27:53.303) In bed.

Jonny (01:27:53.738) Yes.

Bryan! (01:27:55.016) So now while Susan sleeps, the killer doctor delivers a big red decorative box tied with a ribbon, leaving it on the table by the bed. Now after he leaves, Susan opens the box and makes a horrifying discovery. It's Jack's. Jack severed head is in the box.

Aileen (01:28:06.243) WHAT'S IN THE BOX?! WHAT'S IN THE BOX-

Dave! (01:28:07.735) Yeah

Aileen (01:28:13.611) Classic.

Bryan! (01:28:13.726) Oh yeah, yep. She runs screaming down the hall, ends up in a room occupied by three thrashing men in traction, all of them wrapped up like mummies.

Jonny (01:28:21.882) What the fuck? Hilarious, but also terrifying. I was like, I never need to see that again. No.

Dave! (01:28:22.058) Why?

Bryan! (01:28:26.394) Yeah.

Aileen (01:28:28.311) Exactly. I'll say this about the head in the box. You know, it's a pretty, it's a pretty easy gag. You can always, you can tell like he's, he's just like hiding underneath in the table and like they've put his head through the box underneath. But I thought it looked so cute. It was like, it had all this stuff around it and like beautifully decorated. And I was like, Oh, I love this head in the box gag. It's nice. But

Bryan! (01:28:56.578) Night. Nice use of crepe paper.

Jonny (01:28:57.082) This was this man's greatest performance right here. Just him being like, don't move, open your eyes, open your mouth a little bit, and he fucking nailed it. He nailed it. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.

Aileen (01:28:59.755) Agreed, a thousand, yes.

Dave! (01:29:05.474) Look, shoot your shot, girl. You're never gonna get another one. You may as well go for it.

Aileen (01:29:05.551) Nailed. He looked great. Yeah, yeah, you nailed it, bud.

Bryan! (01:29:12.538) So now she hides in the doctor's lounge and is found there by Dr. Saxon and his nurse henchmen who take her back to her room finding no severed head there but a cake.

Dave! (01:29:20.814) But a full ass cake. Someone has also brought her a giant full cake to the hospital where she was just going to pick up test results.

Jonny (01:29:26.142) This killer.

Bryan! (01:29:29.006) Yeah.

Jonny (01:29:29.814) This killer either, well, possibly went to Safeway or Giant or actually baked this cake for this woman.

Dave! (01:29:36.922) I like the former of those. I hope it just stopped on the way.

Aileen (01:29:37.136) Yeah.

Jonny (01:29:39.478) Mm-hmm. Just, oh, I thought, shit, I forgot the cake. I'll just, I'll make a quick stop, it's fine. Absolutely.

Aileen (01:29:40.859) Yeah, he went.

Bryan! (01:29:48.303) So, now, the nurses try to drug her with a sedative, but Susan fakes him out, takes to the halls again where she has a near miss with the killer who just who's just out there stalking the halls with a hatchet breathing like Darth Vader. He walks off and she makes her way to the records room where she spots the killer doctor smacking Dr. Saxon in the head with his hatchet. She runs from the room screaming, snatched up by the evil nurse henchmen who throw her on a stretcher.

Dave! (01:29:59.047) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (01:30:11.726) tire down with restraints. And as she's thrashing around, the doctor tells the nurses that she has delirium tremens, which is a pretty petty burn.

Jonny (01:30:20.37) Also delirium tremens is a delightful beer. And I also just could not believe the moment of her hiding in the hallway behind that, whatever that hospital screen is with her full legs on view, just a full leg. Oh, I was like, Senora, really behind this thing? This is what the choice is? But also when she drops her zippo lighter and just the suspenseful.

Bryan! (01:30:23.22) Hahaha!

Bryan! (01:30:34.115) Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Dave! (01:30:34.859) Yep, she is terrible at hiding.

Aileen (01:30:37.007) Yeah, absolutely. Senora!

Jonny (01:30:48.738) overacting toes just trying to pull that little zippo lighter back. I was like this is this movie is too fucking long. Too fucking long. And this shot of these toes, oh my god, we get it. The suspense of the zippo.

Aileen (01:30:57.64) Yes. Mm-hmm.

Dave! (01:30:59.794) At 82 minutes, this movie is too long.

Aileen (01:31:02.737) Yeah.

Ha ha!

Dave! (01:31:07.542) Yeah, she drops Chekov's lighter and then she spends five minutes with her foot. And we're supposed to believe he doesn't see her leg flailing out from behind the curtain.

Jonny (01:31:11.11) That sounds lighter. Absolutely.

Aileen (01:31:11.979) Ah, ah, ah.

Jonny (01:31:18.33) Yes, I mean that Darth Vader breathing was very, very heavy. It was very loud.

Aileen (01:31:24.135) was concerned for the actor. I was like, sir, you're going to make yourself faint. The way he was like, hh, hh. And then like the mask was like, he was inhaling that mask. It was like, calm down.

Jonny (01:31:31.142) Yes. Ooh. Yes. Rest of breathing.

Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (01:31:39.47) Yeah. So this is the part where the doctor is like, if there's any more of this, I'm going to have to operate. And it's like, on what are you going to operate on?

Dave! (01:31:44.034) Oh, this is...

Is this when she's like, you stupid nurse, stupid nurses, you stupid nurse.

Jonny (01:31:47.87) Thanks, the snakes.

Bryan! (01:31:50.511) That's right.

Jonny (01:31:52.52) Oh my god, yeah!

Dave! (01:31:54.274) Sick burn. And she says, this whole hospital is nuts. Yes, yes it is.

Aileen (01:31:54.367) Stupid nurses.

Jonny (01:31:59.582) Yes, that's the tagline. This whole hospital is nuts.

Aileen (01:32:00.199) A thou- yes. Yes. A- yes.

Bryan! (01:32:05.266) So elsewhere in the hospital, one of the evil henchmen, she's one of the nurses is getting all up in her scrubs when down the hall comes the killer doctor holding up a sheet for some reason. But I and he's just coming at her and I won't lie. I won't lie. It's spooky. It's spooky as hell.

Dave! (01:32:17.563) Everybody loves a stunt queen.

Aileen (01:32:17.799) This was... This was scary. Yeah.

Jonny (01:32:18.163) That's kinda creepy.

Jonny (01:32:22.205) Yeah.

Dave! (01:32:22.282) because it has Exorcist 3 vibes.

Bryan! (01:32:25.08) Exactly.

Aileen (01:32:25.219) Yes! Yes.

Jonny (01:32:25.834) Yes, totally. But also I was like, why is she panicking and screaming right now so immediately? But agreed, it was a fucking creepy, like what a creepy sight to see.

Dave! (01:32:27.852) Yeah.

Aileen (01:32:38.448) Yeah.

Dave! (01:32:38.486) Because you know somebody was like, hey, I have an idea for a kill. It's gonna be real, real cool. And they were like, sure, why not? We put everything else in.

Bryan! (01:32:47.694) Yep. So yeah, he catches up to her, he wraps the sheet around her, and then he injects her with something blue, and she dies. Now the doctor from before, who said he would have to operate, is getting ready for his mysterious operation, when for whatever reason, he's attacked by the doctor who stabs him through the neck with a saw. Now with Susan now restrained and basically everybody dead, except for that horrible Hamburglar from the elevator, who really should have been killed at some point, the killer doctor snatches

Aileen (01:32:47.871) Hehehehehehe

Jonny (01:32:48.334) Yeah. This'll work.

Aileen (01:33:05.483) Thanks for watching!

Jonny (01:33:06.21) Eww.

Aileen (01:33:15.548) Yeah.

Dave! (01:33:16.554) Yeah, cause you skipped the part where he becomes like a legit sexual predator.

Bryan! (01:33:21.314) Yeah, yeah, that's like right before this part, when she's right before when they do that whole lighter thing.

Dave! (01:33:24.438) which is, it's real hard to go from like, isn't he like a kind of a goofy, lovable character? Like all of a sudden he's like actually going to sexually assault her. And it's like, he's not a cute character anymore.

Jonny (01:33:25.832) Yes!

Jonny (01:33:34.1) Yeah.

Bryan! (01:33:36.534) No, no, actually, it's pretty consistent with the rest of the movie. So yeah, the killer doctor snatches Susan up on her stretcher rolls her off to a spot where they can be alone.

Aileen (01:33:36.792) Yeah.

Jonny (01:33:37.139) Yeah.

Aileen (01:33:41.547) for sure.

Dave! (01:33:47.518) And from here on out, the movie sounds like it was shot in a tin can.

Bryan! (01:33:50.698) Yeah, yeah. So, while struggling against her assailant, she pulls off the mask, revealing him to be Dr. Harry, the only normal person.

Jonny (01:33:51.798) Weird, yes.

Dave! (01:33:58.25) Which is apparently a big reveal. I didn't I.

Aileen (01:34:00.787) Yes it is, Dave! To some of us, we were shocked.

Jonny (01:34:01.099) Hahaha!

Jonny (01:34:06.462) I also have to say, to give this movie a little bit more credit aside from the fact that Eileen and I were like, who could it be? But this shot where he kind of, I don't know what the hospital light is called, but it's her on the stretcher and he's still in his full doctor getup and he moves the light to kind of shine on her and his little tray of surgical torture tools. I was like, that's a really good shot. It's really, really good.

Bryan! (01:34:08.276) Yep. So, yeah.

Bryan! (01:34:29.91) It is a pretty good shot.

Aileen (01:34:30.324) Yeah.

Dave! (01:34:31.7) It would look-

Jonny (01:34:31.954) And it's used on the poster, on one of the posters, I think. It's pretty good.

Dave! (01:34:34.482) It would look good if it didn't feel like you know, have you guys seen Sleepaway Camp? And there's those inserts scenes where it's like the boyfriend and the father together and it's like, oh, these were clearly shot at another time on some yes, this, this would be cool if it didn't look like it was shot on like some soundstage and like, or like a community theater where it's like, this is not a hospital. I don't know what it is.

Aileen (01:34:39.935) Yes.

Jonny (01:34:40.315) Yes.

Aileen (01:34:48.963) In the black box? In a black box stage?

Jonny (01:34:49.354) Sure. Yes.

Aileen (01:34:57.011) Yeah.

Jonny (01:35:01.306) Oh, I loved that though, that it was just like, it was like blackness and just them lit up. I thought it was very cool, very effective. Thanks.

Dave! (01:35:07.38) It's so weird.

Bryan! (01:35:08.174) think it's great to I'm with you Johnny I thought that was great but also she is selling the shit out of this scene too because like he looks terrified yeah it's also sweaty and shit

Aileen (01:35:15.211) Yes. Yeah. And I was gonna say she looks the worst, quote unquote, that she does in this movie. And there's something kind of refreshing of seeing this beautiful, gorgeous woman just finally, let her look like shit because she's been through the wringer in this piece of shit hospital.

Jonny (01:35:15.498) great. He's great.

Jonny (01:35:20.798) Yes!

Jonny (01:35:38.566) Yeah. She's been at this hospital all fucking day. Like that hair was bouncy for a while, and now she looks like she's been going through it.

Aileen (01:35:44.747) Also, yeah.

Dave! (01:35:46.667) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:35:50.123) I also want to say, at one point, as she's like, finally getting to hysterics where she's like, somebody just fucking tell me what's going on! And the doctor shakes her and then slaps her. I said, if at any point I'm having some sort of like, upset attack and somebody expects me to

Jonny (01:36:02.354) Hehehehe

Jonny (01:36:06.907) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:36:19.211) calm down after they've slapped me, they have another fucking thing coming, dude. The fire that would, I would throw up the snakes within my body into this person's face and say, get ready to meet your maker, bitch, because nobody puts their fucking hands on me no matter the state of hysteria I am in. Thank you, I just had to say that.

Bryan! (01:36:49.198) get it. Just let it all out. Just let it all out. So, just as he's about to carve out her heart, Susan's three roommates stumble into the crime scene looking for Dr. Jacobs. They buy they buy

Aileen (01:36:51.009) Thanks.

Aileen (01:36:58.359) God bless the witches!

Dave! (01:36:59.606) Yeah. This is why you gotta let the mangled patients just wander around, I guess. They're gonna stop a crime at some point. It's just statistics.

Aileen (01:37:04.993) I guess so.

Bryan! (01:37:08.099) Yep. By Susan. Eventually, somebody's going to be murdering somebody in one of these hospitals. Yep. So this buys Susan enough time to grab a knife off the table and stab Dr. Harry. So now there's

Aileen (01:37:14.271) Yeah.

Aileen (01:37:21.139) Penis? Was it in the penis? Cause it looked to me like it was the penis. Oh, okay. I wanted it to be the penis.

Bryan! (01:37:23.458) It's like lower. It's like lower abdomen. So now there's. Oh, that'd be great.

Dave! (01:37:23.763) I think it's just in the gut.

Jonny (01:37:23.938) No, in the gut. Yeah.

Dave! (01:37:30.922) But she does do that thing where she like stabs him and then runs away. It's like, no, bitch, you gotta just keep going.

Aileen (01:37:35.595) Keep stabbing!

Jonny (01:37:37.726) Go do it.

Bryan! (01:37:39.129) Yep. Yeah. So now there's some protracted cat and mouse stuff. Susan pours some sort of noxious chemical on Dr. Harry and she runs to the roof.

Dave! (01:37:44.931) And that is the foggiest room in the whole hospital.

Bryan! (01:37:47.902) Yes. They struggle some more. She beats him with a pipe and then sets him on fire. It's a real crappy fire effect. He looks like they smeared his coat with that shit they use on poo platters. It's it sends him fleeing to the roof's edge tumbling over to his death.

Aileen (01:37:48.043) Mm-hmm.

Aileen (01:37:57.617) Uh huh.

Aileen (01:38:02.356) Wow.

Jonny (01:38:03.294) You know what? I'm gonna say here at the end, I kind of enjoyed this whole shit. I was like, we're getting a little brutal here at the end. The doctor, Dr. Harry is like staggering around covered in blood. She looks great cause she's all sweaty and her hair is a fucking mess. I really appreciated this at the end. I was like, I'm with you. I'm feeling this.

Bryan! (01:38:22.278) Ha ha ha!

Aileen (01:38:22.544) Yeah, totally.

Dave! (01:38:23.538) And it's because it's the first thing that makes any sense in this whole movie.

Aileen (01:38:27.114) Yeah.

Jonny (01:38:27.846) Absolutely. And I was like, let's fucking have it out with these two right now. And I thought it delivered. I thought it delivered. Now what happens after this? I was like, oh, okay.

Aileen (01:38:32.608) Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Bryan! (01:38:36.898) Yeah, so yeah, the next day. Yeah.

Dave! (01:38:37.878) when she like she just throws her clothes back on and she's like, well, never got my test results, but I'm out of here.

Jonny (01:38:41.231) Oh, chill.

Bryan! (01:38:44.416) The next day, Susan is dressed again, perfect hair, makeup all good, greeted by her ex-husband and daughter, roll credits, what the fuck.

Dave! (01:38:51.902) And they walk off as though she's like, well, I never really liked that other guy very much, and this one seems to have calmed down a little bit. Let's go home, everybody.

Jonny (01:38:58.905) Uh... yeah. Oh my god, roll credits, what the fuck.

Bryan! (01:38:59.616) Ha ha!

Aileen (01:39:01.107) said now she goes home and she fucking sues the hell out of this fucking hospital and is like girl get your money because you may or may not have snakes inside your body

Jonny (01:39:07.423) Please.

Dave! (01:39:10.955) No.

Dave! (01:39:15.221) No, you know what happens? She goes back the next day and there's no hospital there at all.

Jonny (01:39:15.7) Yes.

Jonny (01:39:19.674) Yes, X-ray two.

Aileen (01:39:19.727) Yes, that should have been the ending. That should have been the ending. 20 years. I mean, perfect.

Bryan! (01:39:23.316) That hospital's been closed for 30 years!

Dave! (01:39:27.348) for 25 years!

Jonny (01:39:30.148) Amazing.

Dave! (01:39:31.25) Well, that's our movie. Now, usually when we wrap these things up, we talk about how a film has aged, we talk about whether it still feels relevant. Now that just feels like a dumb question here. Because I don't know if this movie was ever relevant.

Aileen (01:39:42.151) Ha ha ha!

Jonny (01:39:43.448) Mm. Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:39:48.382) No, no.

Aileen (01:39:48.635) You know, as somebody who was surprised by our reveal, I'm gonna say maybe there's a little bit of relevance to it. Yeah, I think it's a great, go Johnny. I was just gonna say, I think it's a great snapshot of.

Bryan! (01:39:49.581) It's a-

Bryan! (01:40:01.238) It's a deep cut even by our standards. Yeah.

Dave! (01:40:03.415) Yeah. You know what it is?

Jonny (01:40:05.618) I mean, I'm surprised. Go ahead. No, please, go ahead.

Aileen (01:40:14.071) 80s lifestyle in film, not only visually, but like horror movie-esque times. It's just a great little, just a little pinpoint in time of, look at this hot garbage we have, and how a lot of things in the 80s were kind of hot garbage, and just a little greasy, and a little

Dave! (01:40:34.164) Yes.

Aileen (01:40:43.651) weird and like out of the box. It was a time for people to experiment in different kooky things. And I think this is a really great example of that kind of genre, if you will.

Dave! (01:41:02.442) That's kind of where I landed. I landed with, if nothing else, this is a good example of what happens when you rush to capitalize on a trend, and you give no consideration to literally anything. Like, there were so many movies that were trying to rip off Friday the 13th around this time, and this is what it looks like when you do not pay any attention to your script, when you give it to a guy who has never even seen a horror movie before.

Aileen (01:41:12.903) Mmm.

Dave! (01:41:31.242) Like, this is a great example of just being like, this is the, if we're talking about them on the spectrum, this is the way low end where it's just like, just get it out there, cash grab. It's a good example of that. And it is so goddamn weird. This is one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen.

Aileen (01:41:31.342) Sure.

Jonny (01:41:42.739) Yes.

Bryan! (01:41:47.918) Yeah, it's I could class this one in with like a final exam. Like it's a movie that's it's a very cynical movie.

Aileen (01:41:48.319) Yeah.

Dave! (01:41:54.794) At least Final Exam is a coherent story.

Bryan! (01:41:57.618) Yeah, but what I mean by this is it's a very cynical cash grab that manages to be entertaining despite that. But for all the wrong reasons, right?

Aileen (01:42:05.451) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:42:05.746) Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Dave! (01:42:07.114) Yeah, I love this from beginning to end. Love this movie. Take an edible, watch this movie. It is the best time you'll ever have.

Aileen (01:42:09.811) Totally. Yes. Totally.

Jonny (01:42:14.746) But this is one of the great things about this, another reason I love horror movies. Well, first of all, I've never fucking heard of this. So this is a gem, this is a treasure. Everybody should watch this. But even movies that came out, I don't know, 10 years ago, recent-ish movies that people kind of throw away or like that was just a cash grab. Later on, we come back to these movies and we find something to appreciate in them. Is this movie completely exploitative, offensive in certain ways? Yes, but at the same time, a treasure.

Aileen (01:42:23.121) Yeah.

Aileen (01:42:42.193) Yeah.

Jonny (01:42:44.786) would absolutely watch this again and recommend to people. There are things to enjoy here, you know. Well, it's great. It was a good time.

Aileen (01:42:51.147) This movie for me lands in what we at our podcast call throwing it on the background of your Halloween party. It's definitely that kind of movie. Like you can put the sound down and just be like, what? What's going on there?

Dave! (01:42:59.979) Yes.

Jonny (01:43:01.499) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:43:09.628) Have you guys ever seen Home Sweet Home, the Thanksgiving slasher?

Dave! (01:43:14.219) TV movie?

Jonny (01:43:16.134) I don't know if it was it. It is low-budget starring, I wanna say Lou Ferrigno, but that's not who it was. It's Steinfeld, Jake Steinfeld, yes. And it is trash. But this.

Dave! (01:43:17.314) I think it's a TV movie.

Aileen (01:43:23.449) No, Steinfeld.

Dave! (01:43:26.423) Yes, I think it was a TV movie from the 80s. Mm-hmm. I think so.

Aileen (01:43:28.823) Really? It was TV? Wow. Oh.

Bryan! (01:43:31.884) Yeah, it kind of, it kind of popped up on Blu-ray recently and it sort of showed up in the same kind of nostalgia scene as like, everybody kind of discovered blood rage at the same time.

Aileen (01:43:37.695) Yeah.

Jonny (01:43:37.855) Yeah, and I'm going to say it was around this

Aileen (01:43:41.247) Mm-hmm.

Jonny (01:43:42.81) It's around the same era, I think. But I would call this movie, like, X-ray, I mean, even like a little bit of a step above that film, I would say. You know, yeah.

Aileen (01:43:52.203) I think I agree with you, Johnny. It's definitely, it's maybe half a step. It's just like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I was about to say, yeah.

Jonny (01:43:59.57) Not a big step. The step is a little crumbly. You know, you might trip on it, but it is, yeah, it's a step above. Yeah.

Dave! (01:44:06.331) It all, it goes into that category of like, you all did your absolute best, and I really appreciate that.

Aileen (01:44:11.9) Yeah, totally.

Dave! (01:44:13.758) Now was your best good? No, no. I don't think you people should be making movies, but you know, you really put your heart into it.

Aileen (01:44:16.13) No.

Jonny (01:44:16.405) now.

Aileen (01:44:21.739) But you really tried with this one.

Jonny (01:44:22.262) I gotta give credit to, you did, but I gotta give credit to Barbie Benton. I think she delivered, and I think she is one of the main reasons to watch this film. Like, she carries it. Even though the whole time we're like, girl, just run. Like, just fuckin' almost through these people and go. They go whatever, you know.

Aileen (01:44:28.423) She carries this film. Yeah.

Dave! (01:44:39.148) She's the only one who has range. Like she's the only one who understands that. Like if you're acting, you act like a person would act. Like not just this weird, like the one doctor who's just indignant the whole time for no reason. Like she does sort of bring it. Yeah.

Aileen (01:44:39.284) Yeah.

Jonny (01:44:44.413) Mm-hmm

Aileen (01:44:45.851) Yeah.

Jonny (01:44:51.674) Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, she was a solid final girl.

Aileen (01:44:53.085) My god.

Aileen (01:44:57.279) Totally.

Bryan! (01:44:57.635) Well, Johnny, Eileen, I want to thank you guys for joining us. This has been a very, very entertaining examination of a really fucked up movie.

Dave! (01:45:01.297) Yes.

Jonny (01:45:06.413) Hahaha!

Aileen (01:45:07.992) Thank you so much for having us we had so much fun I Thank you for bringing this fucking crazy ass movie into our lives I've already started telling my other horror friends like I don't know if you've seen this But you must because it's necessary. I think

Jonny (01:45:10.61) Yeah, we are honored.

Bryan! (01:45:19.962) Ha ha ha!

Jonny (01:45:23.81) Mm-hmm.

Bryan! (01:45:27.099) So, so where can everybody find you guys?

Jonny (01:45:27.126) Agreed. Yeah.

Aileen (01:45:30.687) Johnny, you take it.

Jonny (01:45:31.314) Eileen. Okay. Well, please find us at wikiorror on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok. I'm gonna spell it out. That is U-Y- horror. We are everywhere. Send us an email at wikiorror at gmail.com if you wanna talk to us.

Aileen (01:45:47.328) Mm-hmm.

We're... Sure.

Dave! (01:45:52.814) I'm not gonna lie.

Aileen (01:45:54.913) We...

Jonny (01:45:56.85) We're all over the place. We have a Patreon, Uy Que Horror, everywhere if you look for us. Please listen to our episodes. We've got over 150 episodes. We're having so much fun with more to come, more on the way. My personal... Oh, please, please. Yes, every other Monday. And on Patreon, we also release really foolish videos of Eileen and I being just fucking idiots. It's a delight.

Aileen (01:46:06.767) Yes. Every every other Monday. I was just to say that.

Aileen (01:46:18.887) goofballs.

Jonny (01:46:20.922) You can find me on Instagram, Twitter at Johnny Elliott. That's J-O-N-N-Y-E-L-I-O-T. And yeah, thanks for listening, everybody.

Aileen (01:46:30.259) And you can find me at Eileen Lillhands, A-I-L-E-E-N-L-I-L, hands with a Z, because I have little hands. And literally all over those, all the platforms too. I'm currently watching Fargo for the first time, the series, and my TikTok is just me losing my shit over how Martin Freeman is a sociopath right now. So follow me on TikTok.

Bryan! (01:46:48.799) Ooh.

Bryan! (01:46:58.446) All right, Dave, what are we doing next?

Dave! (01:47:01.13) Oh, we will be back in two weeks with our one year anniversary show. Mm hmm. Yeah. And we, we're going to talk about Dawn of the Dead, one of my favorite horror movies. Mm hmm. Nope.

Bryan! (01:47:06.687) One year!

Jonny (01:47:08.11) Wow, congratulations!

Aileen (01:47:08.299) Congratulations!

Bryan! (01:47:10.463) Yeah. Yep.

Jonny (01:47:14.87) Hell yeah.

Aileen (01:47:17.89) Oooo

Bryan! (01:47:18.024) Yep. Alright, so be back here in two weeks when we do Dawn of the Dead.